Little Rural Riding Hood

Country Red:
Kiss me, my fool!

Country Cousin:
Hey cousin! Where is that Red Riding Hood, huh?Where is she? Where is that good-lookin' babe? I wanna love her and hug her and kiss her and hold her and...

City Wolf:
Now cousin, here in the city we do not shout and whistle at the ladies.

City Wolf:
Oh, I'm terribly sorry, cousin, but this city life is a bit too much for you. I shall have to motor you back to the country.

[He drives Country Cousin back to his home in the country]

Country Red:
Eh, howdy, boys.

[City wolf sees Red and goes through the same wild reactions that his country cousin went through; Country Cousin knocks him out with a mallet and puts him back in the car]

Country Cousin:
Sorry, cousin. This country life is a bit too much for ya. I guess I'll have to drive ya back to the city!

Country Cousin:
Uh-heh! Kissed a cow.

Country Cousin:
Folks, confidentially, I'm not the real grandma. I'm the wolf, see? Now, I'm supposed to eat Red Riding Hood all up, but I ain't a-gonna do it. All I'm going to do is chase her and catch her and kiss her and hug her and love her and hug her and... [giggle fit]