Living Single

Maxine:
You have to get up pretty early in the morning to fool Maxine Shaw!

Kyle:
That's because evil never sleeps.

Maxine:
[eyeing Kyle] But ugly gets plenty of rest!

Khadijah:
[to Regine] Look, you're gonna have a hard time finding "the one." You're a snob from the projects! Believe me, that's rare.

Regine Hunter:
Khadijah, I think I hear something in the other room. I'm scared. Can I sleep in your bed?

Khadijah:
Regine, this is a Queens-sized bed. That means it's for the QUEEN.

Khadijah:
Synclaire, I try to be there for you, but you take that fork in the road and you lose me every time!

Maxine:
Come on Kyle, be a man!

Kyle:
Max, if I was half the man you are, I might be willing.

Maxine:
[excited by winning a case] Do not touch me unless you want to get BURNED!

Regine Hunter:
Come on Khadijah, do it for our friendship. You can't put a price on that...

Khadijah:
Yes I can dear, fifty dollars.

Ivan Ennis:
[exiting the elevator] Ah, so this is the legendary "Flavor."

Synclaire James-Jones:
No, this is the real one.

Maxine:
[after learning that Overton is afraid of clowns] Overton, if you don't like clowns, why are you hanging with Kyle?

Kyle:
Maxine, I am trying to help a person. You remember people. They're the ones with the torches who chased you out of the castle.

Regine Hunter:
[after Khadijah accidentally puts Grant Hill in the hospital] Can you believe it? They wouldn't even let him see his fianc?e, the future Regine Hunter-Hill!

Maxine:
Regine, you are an embarrassment to desperate women everywhere.

Synclaire James-Jones:
[as Maxine and Synclaire discover Grant Hill and Khadijah making out in the living room] I hope you realize that your lips are compromising your journalistic integrity!

Maxine:
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, and it's about time! Now, let's go pull Regine's head out of the oven!

Khadijah:
You mean you and Kyle been together three months and your already buying him draws?

Maxine:
I need a little Tabasco with my jalape?o if you know what I'm saying.

Synclaire James-Jones:
Well, which way is the front?

Maxine:
That depends on how freaky I'm feeling.

Kyle:
We'll talk about this later.

Maxine:
Fine, I wont be listening.

Synclaire James-Jones:
You know what Mark Twain said, "A lawyer who defends himself in court, has a fool for a client."

Khadijah:
Did you just call me a fool?

Synclaire James-Jones:
No, Mark Twain did.

Maxine:
[to Khadijah] I'll make it out to the society for the treatment of schizophrenic black women who own magazines okay?

Synclaire James-Jones:
Go ahead Regine let it out, cry. If you don't your tearducts will get blocked up and then when you get old you won't be able to cry.

Khadijah:
Just when we thought it was safe to let you back into the conversation.

Regine Hunter:
Why does this keep happenin' to me?

Maxine:
Cause you keep lookin for someone to carry you.

Regine Hunter:
What's wrong with that?

Khadijah:
They keep droppin' yo' ass.

Maxine:
The bottom line is men are nothing but speed bumps on the road to happiness.

Regine Hunter:
No no, I think they're more like cheap pantyhose at the worse possible moment they run on you.

Synclaire James-Jones:
But did you ever stop to think about what the world be like without men?

Khadijah:
A bunch of fat happy women and no crime!

Regine Hunter:
[after being stood up] What is wrong with me? Why do I keep doing this to myself?

Maxine:
You just want someone to carry you.

Regine Hunter:
What's wrong with that?

Khadijah:
'Cause they keep DROPPIN' yo' ass!

Khadijah:
He looked the same, he smelled the same, the next thing I knew he kissed me... and my clothes fell off.

Regine Hunter:
[Regine disagrees with fellow jurors on a high-profile case] . You're confusing the character with the actress. They're two completely different things.

Kyle:
Yeah? Tell that to Tootie.

Regine Hunter:
You guys, now Sarah McQueen is the woman accused of the crime. Mrs. Benchley is just a character she played. Don't confuse the actor with the role.

Kyle Barker:
Yeah? Tell that to Tootie.

Maxine:
I pay with my advice. [Kyle walks in] Always lock the door.

Kyle:
So a younger man huh? That's unnatural.

Maxine:
Yea well so was your birth.

Maxine:
They're about to box. Maybe we should stop up for a visit.

Regine Hunter:
You are awful. You started this whole thing Max.

Maxine:
I did, didn't I? It's a gift. I don't own it.

Overton 'Obie' Wakefield Jones:
[after he finds out that one Kyle's ancestors wasn't smart with his money] Well, there you go mom. Next time Kyle's mom act's a bit siddity, just say "All aboard! Next stop, Atlantis".

Maxine:
[after everyone is worried about her unemployment] I am Maxine Shaw, the *baddest* attorney at law. Now there have been offers in the past and there will be plenty in the future. All I have to do is sit here and wait on your phone to ring

Regine Hunter:
Ha! Ha! Oh, no, dear. You see, after you left, I had all your phone calls re-forwarded *back* to your machine.

Maxine:
I know. I had them re-reforwarded.

Regine Hunter:
Noooo![while running upstairs in anger]

Maxine:
You got to get up *pretty* early in the morning to get one over on me!

"A man who doesn't keep his word is probably a liar." - Overton Wakefield Jones