Lo squartatore di New York

[after performing an autopsy on a ripper murder victim]

Dr. Barry Jones, Coroner:
He used a blade. Stuck it up her joy trail, and slit her wide open. He could have done a slightly better job if he had more time. But overall, it was a good, efficient butchery.

Chief of Police:
Fred, have you flipped out, or are you trying to give me an ulcer? A smart-ass coroner comes out with a little verbal diarrhea, and you immediately go around declaring there's a maniac loose in the city.

Lt. Fred Williams:
Yeah, so what do you want me to say? A boy scout's been widdling on girls with his knife?

The Ripper:
[voice] But you won't understand me, you'll never understand me! You're too stupid! Quack! Quack! Quack!

[overseeing the autopsy on the 'Ripper' Scellenda]

Lt. Fred Williams:
So, what's the good news, Barry?

Dr. Barry Jones, Coroner:
Well, from the pulmonary result, the cause of death was suffocation. Self-inflicted by the plastic bag thrown over his head.

Lt. Fred Williams:
What about the time of death?

Dr. Barry Jones, Coroner:
That I have for you exactly. Between four and five AM on Tuesday the 10th, eight days ago.

Lt. Fred Williams:
Eight days? Bullshit! That son-of-a-b*tch murdered Kitty just four days ago. He couldn't have have been dead for eight days! You're wrong!

Dr. Barry Jones, Coroner:
Come on, Barnaby. How long have we known each other? How long have I been a coroner? 16 years! Now, if I say the time of death was eight days ago, then the time of death was eight days ago! Sure, I admit I could be a few hours off, but no more.

Lt. Fred Williams:
Jesus Christ...

Dr. Barry Jones, Coroner:
Does it really matter?

Lt. Fred Williams:
Yeah, it does.

[Rosie, riding a bicycle, accidently brushes past a misogynist owner's red Volkswagen]

Red Volkswagen owner:
Hey! Watch where you're going!

Rosie:
I'm sorry. I was thinking of Boston.

Red Volkswagen owner:
You women are all the same! A menace to society! You women should stay at home where you belong. You've got the brains of a chicken!

Rosie:
And you're an a**hole! Ciao!

Lt. Fred Williams:
Well, if it isn't the big chief person himself.

Chief of Police:
Hello, Fred. I need to talk to you and it's kind of hush-hush. Is there anywhere private where we can talk?

Lt. Fred Williams:
Sure. How about the church across the street?

Lt. Fred Williams:
Would you get me some coffee?

Kitty:
Sweetheart! I'm a prositute, not your wife. If you want coffee, make it yourself!