Loaded Pistols

[after tying Gene to a chair, Mary and Larry prepare to flee an approaching posse]

Gene Autry:
Hey, wait a minute! Get me out of this steer's necktie and I'll help cloud your trail.

Larry Evans:
Why should we trust you?

Gene Autry:
Why, Ed's ghost would haunt me if I let them hang the wrong man.

Sheriff Cramer:
I'll take your six-shooter.

Gene Autry:
Now look here, Cramer...

Sheriff Cramer:
Just to make sure you mind your own business. I don't wear this badge for fun, you know.

Dave Randall:
Quit stalling. Where's Larry Evans?

Gene Autry:
Say, that reminds me, Randall. Weren't you in that dice game when Norton was killed.

Dave Randall:
That's right. So were Harper and Mason.

Jake Harper:
Now, Gene, you don't think one of us daylighted Ed?

Gene Autry:
Just gonna make some java. Care to join me?

Sheriff Cramer:
Not me - your coffee'd throw a horseshoe. Hope I don't see you in jail.

[the Sheriff doubles back to check on Gene's story]

Dave Randall:
What are you doin', Sheriff? Playin' injun?

Sheriff Cramer:
You see a lot of things that way sometimes. Besides, if Mary's with her brother, Gene could have been coverin' for her. He's a sucker for a lady in distress.

Gene Autry:
Say, by the way, if you didn't plug Norton, how come he was killed with your gun?

Larry Evans:
I ran out of dough and I put in my gun to stay in the game.

Gene Autry:
Like this one?

Larry Evans:
Yeah. I *had* a pair of 'em.

Gene Autry:
You were out to make yourself a reputation, weren't you? You certainly did. It's too bad - that sort of dime-store hero went out with Billy the Kid.

[Gene lays his handkerchief on the ground]

Larry Evans:
What are you doin'?

Gene Autry:
Puttin' my ear to the ground. It's an old Indian scout trick. Silk picks up sound... Wagon comin'.

Gene Autry:
Get out of those clothes!

Larry Evans:
What?

Gene Autry:
You heard me. Chuck the duds and get in the creek!

Larry Evans:
In the creek? But it's ice water! You wanna give me pneumonia?

Gene Autry:
Yeah, but you'll catch lead poisoning if they catch you in that gray check shirt, riding a palomino.

Sheriff Cramer:
Good morning, Miss Mary. Great day for the race.

Mary Evans:
What race?

Sheriff Cramer:
The human race.

Sheriff Cramer:
How's Larry? Have you heard anything from him yet? It's too bad he skipped town. It would have helped his case if he hung around and let the law take its course.

Mary Evans:
With Judge Lynch presiding?

Sheriff Cramer:
By the way, Miss Mary, you and your brother didn't happen to run into a fellow named Gene Autry did you?

Mary Evans:
Gene Autry?

Sheriff Cramer:
Yeah, he's a friend of mine. Nice fella, too, if he's on your side. Different story if he's on t'other.

Sheriff Cramer:
Gene, I'd like to borrow that pistol from you if you don't mind.

Gene Autry:
Now look here, Sheriff...

Sheriff Cramer:
It might go off accidental-like and hurt somebody.

Gene Autry:
All right. Remember that's two you owe me.

Sheriff Cramer:
I'm keepin' count.

Sheriff Cramer:
Gene, I'll take...

[points to Gene's gunbelt]

Gene Autry:
All right... I know.

Sheriff Cramer:
The ladies say they're not comfortable to dance with.

Larry Evans:
I'm givin' you a chance, Autry.

Gene Autry:
Why you cheap imitation of a leather-slapper. I oughta turn you over to Cramer just to teach you a lesson.

Larry Evans:
Draw or I'll plug ya.

Gene Autry:
Give me that cap pistol before I use it to part your hair!

Gene Autry:
Jim, somebody wants this ranch... wants it bad enough to commit murder. Now what could be here that would pay a man enough to risk his neck for it.

Jim Hedge:
Nothin'.

Gene Autry:
Hold on now, Jim...

Jim Hedge:
I don't haveta. I been over this country hundreds of times.

Mary Evans:
No gold?

Jim Hedge:
Ohhh, maybe enough to fill your tooth.

Larry Evans:
No silver?

Jim Hedge:
Welll, might find enough to plate a watch.

Gene Autry:
You sure there's nothing here?

Jim Hedge:
Are you crazy in the head? I've been prospecting these parts ever since the Apaches were takin' potshots at everything that was movin'... [chuckles] That is, everything but coyotes. It's bad luck to shoot your own relatives.

Gene Autry:
Jim, I want you to take Larry and keep him under cover until you hear from me.

Larry Evans:
Oh, I couldn't ask Mr. Hedges to take a risk like that.

Jim Hedge:
You didn't!

[points to Gene]

Jim Hedge:
He did.

[Sheriff Cramer fires at the murderer who attempts to escape on Gene's horse]

Gene Autry:
Hold it, Sheriff!

Sheriff Cramer:
But he's got your horse!

Gene Autry:
That's his hard luck.

[Gene whistles and Champion wheels and returns the killer to the posse]

[last lines]

Sheriff Cramer:
Come on down, fella. We got a certain judge we want you to meet.

Sheriff Cramer:
What the sam hill is going on here?

Gene Autry:
We were playing "post office".

Sheriff Cramer:
But that's a kid's game.

Gene Autry:
Not the way we play it.