Lone Star State of Mind

Earl:
God Damn it Wayne, I really wish you would stop calling her that.

Baby:
If you ain't livin' you're dyin' Earl. I wanna live.

Baby:
Earl, I can't be no soap star if I'm missin' digits.

Baby:
Wait 'til I tell Raylene I was interrogated by the police for killin' Tinker Johnson, she'll be so jealous.

Tinker:
Junior you're so stupid they had to burn down the school just to get you out of third grade.

Junior:
This cell phone's better than my pinkie finger any day.

Earl:
you ever get the feeling your like, being watched, baby?

Baby:
you mean, by horny guys?

Baby:
Earl Crest, don't you know it ain't polite to stare?

Earl:
Well Baby, it's only natural for a man to stare when he sees the prettiest gal west of Mississippi

Baby:
just west?

Baby:
After work I think I'm gonna go home and change.

Earl:
I don't see the point though, Baby. You just can't improve on perfection.

Baby:
Damn, Earl, you're twenty-three going on eighty!

Earl:
Junior, you are so dumb.

Junior:
I'm not dumb. YOU'RE dumb.

Tinker:
I don't got nothing to say.

Earl:
Well, that's good, 'cause I was planning on doing most of the talking anyhow.

Tinker:
I'm gonna kick the sh*t out of you, Earl.

Earl:
So you said, Tinker.

Earl:
Now, don't be TOO disappointed, Doc.

Earl:
Well, Jimbo, I think Baby already beat you to it.

Baby:
Damn right.

Baby:
You want me to come with you? It's my day off.

Earl:
No, Baby, I don't intend on killing anyone today so your services won't be needed.

Baby:
You mad, Earl?

Earl:
No, Baby, I ain't mad at you. I'm pretty sure Earl ain't gonna be none to happy with it, though.

Earl:
If it wasn't for Baby I'd have drowned you in that river.

Junior:
Well, for your information EARL I can swim!

Junior:
Uh... I fell?

Junior:
No.

Junior:
Yeah!

Earl:
Have my doubts, Jimbo.

Junior:
I lied.

Tinker:
They're gonna shoot us like fish in a bowl the minute we walk in the door.

Earl:
Well, maybe we'll get lucky, Tinker, and they'll only shoot you!

Baby:
Oh, you better not!

Earl:
Don't touch my girl, Juan.

Earl:
Oh... damn't Junior!

Baby:
Hey.

Earl:
Hey yourself.

Baby:
How you feeling?

Earl:
I'm feeling alright... all bullet wounds considered.

Junior:
Enough of these pleasantries.

The **** has hit the fan! They said they's gonna kill me! They was here this morning when I woke up. They punched my face in... tore down my Dixie Chicks poster. They said if I didn't give them back the drugs and money, I was dead! But anyway, enough of me. How about you?

Goddamn it junior I said pantyhose not pantyliners I'm not gonna rob some body with damn maxi pad stuck to my face