Lord of the Flies

Piggy:
We did everything just the way grownups would've. Why didn't it work?

Ralph:
Whoever has the conch gets to speak at assembley.

Steve:
Who's the leader?

Peter:
Jack is the oldest, but Ralph is the colonel.

Ralph:
It doesn't matter who's in charge. We just have to work together. First, we build a camp.

Tony:
What are we to do with thieves when we catch them?

Ralph:
We can't have kids stealing and running wild. We'll have to have stricter rules and hand out demerits... I guess.

Jack Merridew:
When you other brats get older or hungry enough, you can come, too.

Jack Merridew:
See you tonight, girls.

Piggy:
We might have to live here a long time, maybe the rest of our lives. We can't go on acting like kids. We need to be sensible and make things work.

Ralph:
You're not going to get away with this.

Jack Merridew:
Oh yeah? You're all alone. What are you going to do about it?

If that does happen, it because you let him happen, if you don't stand up to him your just another one of his slaves

n*gger i hate them lets kill the black kid nvm theres no black kid

Jack:
You better start learning to live with yourself, because we ain't gonna get rescued.

Piggy:
What are you talking about?

Jack:
Just being logical. A plane goes down in the middle of the ocean, there's no wreckage; who's gonna find us?

Piggy:
Why don't you just shut up?

Jack:
Are you telling me to shut up?

Piggy:
What we need around here is positive people, not people trying to scare people!

Jack:
What we don't need around here is you, shitbrain!

Sam:
His name's not shitbrain! [w/ Eric] It's Piggy!

Jack:
Yeah Piggy!

Ralph:
Shut up! Everybody just shut up! [To Piggy] It's just 'cause you're new.

Piggy:
No it's not. It's always this way.

[The other boys continue to laugh]

Ralph:
Just cut it out, okay!

Jack:
Rodge, you okay, man? That was some jump.

Roger:
[Feels the bump on his head] I got him. Right up his ass.

Will, Sam, Eric, Pablo, Andy:
Up the ass!

[Will crawls up like the pig, and Sam, Eric, Pablo and Andy playfully push their spears into him in]

Eric:
Get him, get him, get him!

Will:
Hey, come on, cut it out!

Ralph:
Stop it!

Will:
You dorks, it hurt!

Sam:
[Giggly] I know it hurt.

Sheraton:
What time is it?

Andy:
What difference does it make?

Sheraton:
Well, if I knew what time it was, I'd know what's on TV. I'm not even sure what day it is.

Andy:
It's Monday.

Sheraton:
Are you sure?

Andy:
I'm sure.

Sheraton:
Mondays...Monday's ALF!

Andy:
ALF comes on at 8 o'clock. It's a lot later than 8.

Sheraton:
Yeah, but I bet we're in a different time zone. I bet it's really about 8 o'clock, and ALF's causing some trouble right now.

Andy:
Yeah.

Jack:
What's this dumb sh*t out here about a monster? We're gonna have to send you back to kindergarten!

Larry:
I'm serious!

Jack:
[Sarcastic] Okay, what kind of monster? Did it have fur and poison fangs, or long slimy tentacles?

Larry:
It growled and it came out at me and its mouth, it was wet.

Luke:
Maybe it was a bear.

Roger:
Sounds more like a reptile.

Jack:
Sounds more like a bullshit!

Ralph:
The reason I'm calling this assembly is, too much people are screwing around when they should be working. I mean there's a bunch of things. Some kids don't even know when to use the bathroom.

Tony:
Yeah. There's this one kid, the other day he took a sh*t in his pants and then sat in it! I'm not naming names because it's possible, Mikey couldn't help it!

[The boys laugh and tease Mikey]

Piggy:
Everybody shut those goddamn mouths! Ralph's got the conch!

Ralph:
All I mean is we have to have more discipline, and more spearfishing. We've gotta have real food.

Rapper:
[Offscreen] We should be hunting pigs

Ralph:
That's all I got to say. Anyone else want the conch?

Luke:
Some jerk-off stole my pocketknife.

Steve:
Yeah, things are disappearing all over.

Will:
What are we gonna do with thieves when we catch 'em?

[The boys all start all shouting out their opinions]

Tony:
Shove their dick in the conch!

Sam:
Put a stick up their butt! Ram it in there!

Ralph:
OK, OK! We can't have kids stealing and just running wild. We're gonna have to have stricter rules. And hand out demerits, I guess.

[The boys scoff and joke at the idea]

Roger:
Demerits?

Rapper:
Demerits for grand larceny?

Will:
Eat sh*t and die!

Jack:
[Pumping a fist in the air] YEAH!

[The boys all continue laughing out of excitement. Peter goes up to Ralph, and the boys all stop]

Peter:
Sir?

[Ralph looks at Peter]

Peter:
Are we ever going home?

Ralph:
Of course we are. As soon as they see our signal.

Peter:
Jack says that we're never gonna be rescued.

Ralph:
No, you misunderstood him, that's not what he meant.

Jack:
That's exactly what I meant. There's eight million islands out here. Why should they find this one?

Ralph:
[To Peter] Don't listen to him. We will be rescued, Peter, honest.

Ralph:
Face it, Jack, you f***ed up! We could've been rescued!

Jack:
Back off, man! I'm sick of your sh*t and so's my gang!

Ralph:
'Your' gang? What's that supposed to mean?

Jack:
What it means, Colonel, is that if you know what's good for you you'll stop trying to run everything!

Jack:
Whats the matter, tits?! Were you afraid to bring it with you? Anyway the conch doesn't count anymore, Miss Piggy-tits!

Ralph:
Stop that!

Jack:
Nobody's interested in you and your f***ing conch! Why don't you take your fat friend and shove off! You've had all the meat you can eat! Come on, hunters! Roger's the pig!

[Ralph and Piggy walk to Castle Rock together to retrieve Piggy's glasses. Ralph with a spear, and Piggy with a stick to help him walk]

Roger:
Halt! Who goes there!

[Will whistles, and Tex joins him and Roger to look down the cliff at Ralph and Piggy]

Ralph:
Don't be stupid, you know who we are! We brought the conch and I'm calling an assembly! Where's Jack?!

Jack:
What do you want now?!

Ralph:
You heard me! We brought the conch and I'm calling an assembly!

Jack:
Why don't you two just f*** off?! This is my end and my tribe! Keep to your own end!

Ralph:
You're the one that won't keep to your own end! Tearing up our camp and stealing Piggy's glasses! You've gotta give 'em back!

Jack:
Got to?! Who says?!

Ralph:
I do!

[Jack walks towards Ralph with his spear]

Ralph:
Piggy can't see! If you wanted to have a fire all you had to do was ask!

Jack:
I don't have to ask!

[Jack whacks his spear onto Ralph's. The two start fighting. The boys standing on the cliff slope cheer on for Jack. Ralph jumps right at Jack, and the two continue fighting without the spears. Piggy watches them, still currently sightless. Ralph kicks Jack, and the conch blows, ending the fight. Jack and Ralph look at the blower:
Piggy, who then blows again]

Piggy:
I've got the conch! Let me speak!

Tony:
Get out of here, Piggy!

[Jack pushes Piggy's arm, and walks back to the slope. Above, Will and Roger are chucking stones]

Ralph:
Stop that, Roger! Let Piggy speak!

[Will wolf-whistles. All the boys on the slope start simultaneously berating Piggy]

Piggy:
Please! This is serious!

Tony:
Get out, fat ass.

Luke:
Go away.

Tony:
Go back to your own camp!

Piggy:
[As the other boys are still berating him] What I wanna say is...if we don't get rescued...we might have to live here for a long time!

Tony:
Shut up!

Piggy:
Maybe the rest of our lives!

[Roger put his spear to one side]

Piggy:
If we are stuck here until we get old, then we can't go on acting like kids!

[Ralph looks up at Roger]

Piggy:
We've gotta be sensible and make things work!

[Roger pushes the boulder off the cliff]

Ralph:
NOOOO!!!!!

[The boulder smacks Piggy in the head, and blood appears. His stick and the conch both fall out of his hands. He falls back onto the ground. Ralph looks down at Piggy, then at Jack, then up at Roger, and then back at Piggy. Piggy lies still on the ground, head covered in blood, and his wide open eyes have gone from unseeing to sightless. Ralph feels his chest. Piggy's heart doesn't beat. Ralph looks at Jack, very anxiously]

Ralph:
[To Jack] You're not gonna get away with this.

Jack:
Yeah? And what are you gonna do? Huh? What are you gonna do about it?

[Ralph still looks at Jack, shocked as he does so]

Jack:
You're out of it pal, you're on your own!

[Jack picks up a rock and chucks it towards Ralph. The other boys on the slope do the same, as does Roger. Ralph runs away, as Will chucks a stone towards him. Ralph dodges them all as he runs]

Cadet Lieutenant Colonel Ralph:
It doesn't matter who's in charge. We've just gotta work together. First we build a camp.