Lost Honeymoon

Dr. Davis:
You have a complete amnesia?

The Amnesiac:
Complete... those six weeks are a total blank... Bob, is it possible that I was out of my mind when I got married?

Dr. Davis:
That's the time most people do it.

Dr. Davis:
You don't even remember your honeymoon?

The Amnesiac:
Honeymoon? I don't even remember saying, "I do!"

Dr. Davis:
You don't?

The Amnesiac:
No, I don't. And what's more I don't even know if I did!

Amy Atkins:
Is Rochester very far from here?

Major:
Rochester, New York?

Amy Atkins:
Well, is there another one?

Major:
There's Rochester, Minnesota.

Amy Atkins:
Two cities with the same name? I suppose this country's so big they ran out of names.

Lois Evans:
See you at dinner.

The Amnesiac:
But, darling, I told you the boys are giving me a bachelor dinner tonight.

Lois Evans:
Oh, darn it. Can't I go?

The Amnesiac:
No, it's a hundred percent stag. They'll just kid the pants off me and pull a lot of practical jokes.

Lois Evans:
Ooh... sounds ghastly.

The Amnesiac:
Well, let them have their fun. They were single once.

The Amnesiac:
Well, the kids aren't mine. I'm positive.

Dr. Davis:
Oh, come on, Johnny. Only a fool says their positive.

The Amnesiac:
Are you sure about that?

Dr. Davis:
I'm positive.

The Amnesiac:
[Tipsy] You ever have amnesia?

Bartender:
I haven't had Magnesia since I was a kid.

The Amnesiac:
Not Magnesia. Amnesia.

Bartender:
What's that? Natures spelled backwards?

The Amnesiac:
Amnesia is the loss of memory. You don't know who you are or what you're doing.

Bartender:
[Points to the drink] One more of those and you won't know who you are or what you're doing.

Mr. Evans:
That's the end. He can't be out of his mind. He never had one.

Dr. Davis:
John has a good mind.

Mr. Evans:
Then why is he always going out of it?