Luke and the Tenderfoot

[first lines]

Luke Herkimer:
[writing in his ledger book] One dozen patent-pending sure-fire husband-getting sassafras sashay - IOU one hen.

[speaking to the audience]

Luke Herkimer:
This is your lucky day, one you won't soon forget. I travel far and wide all over the West sellin' and tradin'. You're lucky you caught me when you did - I was on my way somewhere else. Herkimer's my name; tradin's my game. Got somethin' for everybody.

Sam:
Why don't you have a drink?

Luke Herkimer:
I never touch the stuff.

Sam:
It's on me.

Luke Herkimer:
Double shot - straight!

[Pete, pretending to be the Boston Kid, has agreed to take on three town toughs in a boxing match so Luke can save face]

Pete Quinn:
Mr. Herkimer, this fight's for you. You're the only friend I have left in the world.

Luke Herkimer:
[to himself] What did he have to go and say that for?

Pete Quinn:
Yessir, Mr. Hardin, I'm going to get me a gun. I'm gonna be a gunfighter just like you. 'Course, ah, not as famous as you.

Luke Herkimer:
Boy, you oughta think a thing like that over. Wes has had a real hard life, haven't ya, Wes?

John Wesley Hardin:
I enjoyed every minute of it, kid. How 'bout you, Burke?

Sandy Burke:
Women, money and respect - that's what a fast gun buys you, kid.

John Wesley Hardin:
Nobody gets in your way.

Sandy Burke:
They'll hear about you.

Luke Herkimer:
Yeah, and you get your face on posters - "Wanted: Dead or Alive".

[to Pete, referring to the two men who tried to shoot him]

John Wesley Hardin:
Get these ex-bounty hunters out of here, kid.

[Luke and Pete have helped John Wesley Hardin escape from town]

Pete Quinn:
What's the town going to say about us?

Luke Herkimer:
Well, we done 'em a favor; might have killed three or four of 'em. He won't go far... no gunman ever does. Next week or the next one, some sheriff will get him. You still think you want to buy a gun and strap in on ya?

Pete Quinn:
Ohhh, I changed my mind.