Mad Dog II: The Lost Gold

Padre:
You look honest my friend. Find the treasure, return it to the mission and receive your reward... in heaven.

Stagecoach Driver:
Whoa! Looks like that prospector ran into a porcupine - one with feathers.

Shooting Beaver:
Your bullets are faster than arrow.

Shooting Beaver:
You good shot, white eyes.

Shooting Beaver:
I have brought you to the place of the treasure. It is bad medicine for me to go further. May your days be good.

Buckskin Bonnie:
I got a short fuse too, stranger!

[she throws dynamite into the store. It explodes, and then a stunned man walks out]

Stunned man:
Got a light?

Buckskin Bonnie:
[while bathing in a river] Your feet's been in the saddle a long time, pardner. C'mon, c'mon in. Cleanliness is next to godliness.

Buckskin Bonnie:
I love the way you pull the trigger.

Stagecoach Driver:
We made it, Padre! If my pardner back there is as honest as he can shoot straight, you're in the money.

Padre:
Oh my, oh my! It's a cauldron of the devil's own making in that town. Mad Dog has taken over. Good luck!

Buckskin Bonnie:
You're a straight shooter.

Stagecoach Driver:
Shoot that skull, it's strong medicine.

Shooting Beaver:
Shooting Beaver owes you a life. I don't want to hang out here. Come, we go.

Stagecoach Driver:
Hang on stranger and welcome aboard. We're gonna do a little target practice here to git you started.

Prospector:
Stranger, this is the map to the gold. The Padre has the other half. Watch out for... Mad... Dog! [he dies]

Shooting Beaver:
Quickest way to treasure through Indian land. Very dangerous for stranger. Very dangerous.

Gunman:
Hey hombre! Let's see how fast you are!

Native American Renegades:
Lover of white eyes!

Gunman:
Go ahead stranger; make my day!

Buckskin Bonnie:
Blast those dirty peepin' toms!

Buckskin Bonnie:
I owe you a favor pardner. I won't forget it.

Professor:
Bloody Mad Dog... he's robbing the train!

Professor:
We're within spitting distance of that treasure now...

[a gunman tries to shoot him]

Professor:
I'm eternally grateful to you, friend.

Stagecoach Driver:
I've been keepin' tabs on you, stranger. You done pretty good, but it ain't over yet. I'm gettin' out of here.

[after saving his life]

Stagecoach Driver:
I appreciate that!

Stagecoach Driver:
That's gotta be the last of Mad Dog's men. And we've still got the treasure.

[suddenly we hear gunfire, he looks outside the train]

Stagecoach Driver:
They stick like rotten glue. Let's get 'em!

Stagecoach Driver:
That's straight shootin', pardner. Now for the big one. The treasure's right in front of you. Take a look and shoot yer luck.

[the chest is opened and there are only bags of sand in it]

Professor:
Dirt! This... This is what I risked my bloody life for?

Shooting Beaver:
Dirt is gold- just part of the earth.

Padre:
I had planned to do so much good with it. I guess I'll never get to see Rome.

Buckskin Bonnie:
How 'bout Paris, Padre. Who took it?

[They all look at the Stagecoach driver]

Stagecoach Driver:
Well don't look at me, my hands are clean. Mad Dog... or... maybe you should have played a better game.

Mad Dog McCree:
Enough! This is it stranger. Go ahead. You're already a dead man.

Stagecoach Driver:
Stranger, you best get out of town. Mad Dog knows you got the map.

Professor:
Go my friend, you have the map and I bloody well have the way. A little traveling music, Sam!

[after you blow up a gunman]

Buckskin Bonnie:
Well kiss my a... Well, that was right on!

Buckskin Bonnie:
We're gettin' close to the big X pardner. You and me, we could go a long way with that gold.

Undertaker:
I think you need to put more money in this game.

[referring to a coffin]

Undertaker:
One size fits all.

Undertaker:
Welcome to Boot Hill.

Undertaker:
Are you heading up, or down?

Professor:
Gentleman, my elixir will cure you of alcoholism, lost manhood, and the common cold.

Gunman:
Professor, you're a cheat and a swindler! [pulls gun on him]

[after blowing up a gunman]

Professor:
Oooh. I think you hurt that fellow.

Professor:
Jolly good shot!

Buckskin Bonnie:
[dying] You lost your guide partner. And I'd have been so good for you.

Professor:
[dying] I've dealt my last card.

Undertaker:
You let us down, so now we'll let you down.

[the chest is open and there is gold inside]

Professor:
I'm rich!

Stagecoach Driver:
Yahoo!

Padre:
I can go to Rome.

Buckskin Bonnie:
Paree!

Mad Dog McCree:
Mad Dog's back!

Stagecoach Driver:
Stranger. Stranger you think you're tough enough to take on Mad Dog? Prove it to me. That man is the scourge of the territory. Why to beat Mad Dog to the spanish treasure you'll have to take on renegade indians. Bandidos senor and mad dog's sleazy crew. You think you can beat that crazy killer to the spanish treasure? Why he's ready to dynamite the whole of superstition mountain to get at that gold. He's well armed stranger, bear that in mind.

Stagecoach Driver:
It ain't gonna be easy. You'll need a guide to get you to the treasure. Pick anyone. Buckskin Bonnie: well, she can get you into trouble stranger, but she can lead you through the badlands. The professor: he's something of a gambling quack. His way's not always the straight way, but he's got an ace or two up his sleeve. He'll get you to the treasure. Shooting Beaver: now that Indian knows a shortcut through renegade country. You save his neck, he'll save yours.

Stagecoach Driver:
You think you're man enough to ride shotgun with me? Get up here!

Buckskin Bonnie:
Wanna play?

Buckskin Bonnie:
Come on pardner, let's find that treasure! Yeehaw!