Madworld

Howard 'Buckshot' Holmes:
There's nobody left to kill!

Kreese Kreely:
Yeah, but he could go back and defile the bodies.

Howard 'Buckshot' Holmes:
What do you mean?

Kreese Kreely:
You know... make trophies and stuff. Check out my necklace of human ears.

Howard 'Buckshot' Holmes:
Check out my stream of projectile vomit! blaaargh!

Howard 'Buckshot' Holmes:
Auntie Em! Auntie Em! It's a twister!

Kreese Kreely:
Dude, you are so gay.

Kreese Kreely:
I picked up an extra life once and came back as a roach!

Howard 'Buckshot' Holmes:
Sounds like you got the wheel of karma extra life.

Kreese Kreely:
Actually I kind of liked it. Did you know a cockroach can live for a month without it's head?

Howard 'Buckshot' Holmes:
Big deal! I went through eight years of marrage without any head.

Howard 'Buckshot' Holmes:
I like to wash my pills down with a little scotch.

Kreese Kreely:
I like to wash my scotch down with a little more scotch.

Howard 'Buckshot' Holmes:
I like to wash the scotch I washed the scotch down with, with a little more scotch.

Kreese Kreely:
I like scotch!

Howard 'Buckshot' Holmes:
I like scotch!

Howard 'Buckshot' Holmes:
It's my favorite time of day again!

Kreese Kreely:
Ooh, time to huff some paint?

Howard 'Buckshot' Holmes:
No.

Kreese Kreely:
Time to take a dump?

Howard 'Buckshot' Holmes:
No.

Kreese Kreely:
Well then I give up, what time is it?

Howard 'Buckshot' Holmes:
Time for another Bloodbath Challenge!

Kreese Kreely:
Well if you need me, I'll be taking a dump while huffing some paint.

Howard 'Buckshot' Holmes:
So predictable.

Howard 'Buckshot' Holmes:
When those wankers wobble you can do any f***ed up sh*t you want to em'.

Kreese Kreely:
Same principle as roofies!

Howard 'Buckshot' Holmes:
You are one sick puppy.

[repeated line]

The Black Baron:
Awww, hell naaawww!

Howard 'Buckshot' Holmes:
[Jack impales an enemy on a spiked wall] Now THAT was another solution to a thorny problem!

Kreese Kreely:
Wow, the sh*t you say sometimes makes me wanna smack you.

Kreese Kreely:
Ya know, I like a gal that sucks as much as the next guy, but this blood-hungry b*tch can give you a hickey that'll put you in the morgue. Y'know, I fought her in the Eastern Block games, and lost the match, four pints of plasma, and I was declared legally dead for a week.

Howard 'Buckshot' Holmes:
Awesome rack on her, though!

Kreese Kreely:
True that. While you're blinded by her headlights, she'll sic her swarm of bastard bats on ya to mess up your sh*t. Plus, the f***ers have fleas!

Howard 'Buckshot' Holmes:
Awesome rack on her, though!

Kreese Kreely:
True that!

Howard 'Buckshot' Holmes:
And here come the Shamans!

Kreese Kreely:
The bleeding hearts out there whine that "fur is murder" and in this case they're abso-f***ing-loutely right, this pack of mangy mother f***ers chewed my ass off in the Oklahoma games and to this day I still sh*t a little crooked!, when you hear them howl get ready for a rabid mauling from the whole savage pack!

Howard 'Buckshot' Holmes:
I didn't know you shot crooked?

Kreese Kreely:
A little bit, a little bit

Noa:
[the flashback of the Varrigan City takeover] Ladies and Gentlemen. Beloved citizens of Varrigan City, lend me your ears. We have cut off all road and rail access to and from Jefferson Island. No one enters, no one leaves. We have also disabled your cellular devices, phones, and all Internet connections. All satellite signals from the island will be jammed. You are our captive audience. Justice is an idea the weak cling to, to legitimize their drab "peaceful" existence. True justice can only be found when lives are at STAKE, especially one's own. I challenge you to seize the day. Redefine justice in your own terms! Let the games begin! To those of you still wondering, it's a game of survival. Might makes right. It is the only law, and your only chance if you wish to live through this. To those who do survive, you will not only win the right to win, but a substantial reward to the tune of one hundred million dollars. To participate in this game, you need only pick up a weapon. A pipe, a bat, a knife - anything will do. Then you need to kill someone. Family members and neighbors are a convenient place to begin. Ah yes, one more thing. We've dispersed a biological agent, a virus, across Jefferson Island. Everyone infected, which is all of you, will die in 24 hours.If you care to live longer than twenty-four hours, all you need do is your willingness to participate in our game. Kill anyone, and you will be given a vaccine. [one of the viewers is infected] Oh, and I suggest you act quickly. The virus' incubation varies by person. Some may suffer adverse effects much sooner than others. Ah, a case in point:

Leo:
Get back! He's hemorrhaging.

Noa:
[seeing the victim die] Game over.

Howard 'Buckshot' Holmes:
Callously carved cadavers, violent vivisections, and just plain crazy science gone wrong!

Kreese Kreely:
SCIENCE!

Howard 'Buckshot' Holmes:
THAT'S what's hidden behind the blood-spattered walls of the castle's monstrous laboratory. Anyone dumb enough to walk into this butcher shop unprepared, is likely to wind up with an electrode up his ass, and six pig tits grafted to his back!

Kreese Kreely:
Seven. The sewed one on my stomach, too.

Howard 'Buckshot' Holmes:
Dude, awesome! Can I touch it?

Kreese Kreely:
[Slyly] Go ahead.

Howard 'Buckshot' Holmes:
That guy has more poles sticking out of him than my ex-wife on a Friday night!

Kreese Kreely:
Also, he's spiked against the wall, and he's leaking fluids on the floor!

Howard 'Buckshot' Holmes:
The similarities are UNCANNY!

Kreese Kreely:
[Jack has impaled an enemy on a spike, anus first] That reminds me, I need to make an appointment to see my proctologist.

Howard 'Buckshot' Holmes:
Why, anything serious?

Kreese Kreely:
No, right now, we're just friends.

Howard 'Buckshot' Holmes:
Ba-da ba, ba-da bum!