Make the Yuletide Gay

Abby Mancuso:
Why are the best men gay?

Nathan Stanford:
Erh... Sorta part of god's plan.

Abby Mancuso:
Figures!

Abby Mancuso:
Oh my god, you two... are totally gay

Olaf 'Gunn' Gunnunderson:
Erm...

Abby Mancuso:
B*tch! Why didn't you tell me?

Olaf 'Gunn' Gunnunderson:
That's because I haven't told anybody here.

Abby Mancuso:
Yeah... I got that.

Olaf 'Gunn' Gunnunderson:
Did you just called me "b*tch"?

Sven Gunnunderson:
[So stoned he mistakes a soduku for a crossword] I need a nine-letter word that ends in 4

Olaf 'Gunn' Gunnunderson:
[about Abby] We dated four years ago, in High School! We're totally different people now. She's a beautician, and I'm...

Sven Gunnunderson:
You're what?

Olaf 'Gunn' Gunnunderson:
*Not* a beautician.

Anya Gunnunderson:
[Runs fingers through Gunn's hair] You're telling me! Have Abbey give you a cut and a blow sometime, you'll be happier for it.

Olaf 'Gunn' Gunnunderson:
I don't need Abbey to blow me to be happy.

Olaf 'Gunn' Gunnunderson:
[about telling his parents he is gay] I was gonna tell them Yesterday, but...

Nathan Stanford:
And they haven't figured it out? I mean, they have *met* you, right?

Olaf 'Gunn' Gunnunderson:
Did you guys hear what I said? I'm gay.

Nathan Stanford:
Um, I'm gay too if that wasn't clear. It was, ok.

Anya Gunnunderson:
So long. And thanks for all the fish!

Olaf 'Gunn' Gunnunderson:
Wanna go find the other young people? Maybe they're all playing spin the bottle somewhere.

Nathan Stanford:
Oooh, my favorite sport.

Olaf 'Gunn' Gunnunderson:
Yeah, like you ever kissed a girl before!

Nathan Stanford:
Yeah, Frieda Belluci, fifth grade.

Olaf 'Gunn' Gunnunderson:
Really?

Nathan Stanford:
Yup.

Olaf 'Gunn' Gunnunderson:
What was that like?

Nathan Stanford:
Well... you know... [whispers] made me gay.

Olaf 'Gunn' Gunnunderson:
Really! Well I should send her a thank you card.

Nathan Stanford:
Do that.

Olaf 'Gunn' Gunnunderson:
You know what I always wondered... are there any actual eggs in Egg Nog?

Nathan Stanford:
hmm

Sven Gunnunderson:
[rolling eyes] No one knows for sure.

Olaf 'Gunn' Gunnunderson:
hmmm

Nathan Stanford:
Yeah, what is Nog anyway?

Olaf 'Gunn' Gunnunderson:
Yeah, what IS Nog?

Nathan Stanford:
[giggles]

Sven Gunnunderson:
[Puts down cup very slowly, rolls eyes and skulks away]

Nathan Stanford:
[chortles]

Olaf 'Gunn' Gunnunderson:
[shakes head, looking down into cup] I don't know.

Nathan Stanford:
Delicious though.

Olaf 'Gunn' Gunnunderson:
[shakes head again, looking down into cup] No, it's not.

Abby Mancuso:
Why are all the best ones gay?

Nathan Stanford:
Eh, it's all part of God's plan.

Abby Mancuso:
Figures!