Malcolm

[first lines]

Tramways supervisor:
You'd better get them separated.

Tramways supervisor:
[to Malcolm] I employee a bloke like you out of the goodness of my heart and what do I get? Some looney who uses the departments time, money and spare parts to build his own model tram for Christ's sake!

Mrs. T:
[to Malcolm] Malcolm, I know you don't understand but I can't give you anymore milk, or bread or newspapers. You haven't paid me for three weeks. You've got no job and you're not trying to get another one. If your mother was alive she'd be horrified. Spending your money on these toys.

Malcolm Hughes:
One: Do you have any references?

Frank Baker:
References?

Malcolm Hughes:
Two: Are you a neat and tidy person who makes his, stroke, her own bed and washes the dishes?

Frank Baker:
Hey?

Malcolm Hughes:
Three: Are you a good cook?

Frank Baker:
Listen, I just want a room.

Malcolm Hughes:
Are those boxes?

Frank Baker:
Nah, they're pineapples.

Frank Baker:
I just got out of jail. So if you're gonna blabber that all over the place we may as well pack up and leave now.

Judith:
Frank.

Malcolm Hughes:
You're not gonna leave, are ya?

Frank Baker:
What's he doing out there?

Judith:
Who knows?

Mrs. T:
If only he'd put his mind to something. Use that brain of his for better things than those toys.

Judith:
He's actually pretty smart.

Judith:
[to Frank] It's a job, dick head!

Malcolm Hughes:
It's a getaway car.

Frank Baker:
What?

Malcolm Hughes:
Like on T.V.

Frank Baker:
I can run faster than this. Open her up.

Malcolm Hughes:
What Frank?

Frank Baker:
Faster! Faster!

Malcolm Hughes:
This is as fast as it will go.

Frank Baker:
Sh*t!

Malcolm Hughes:
Open the glove box.

Frank Baker:
Just drive this sh*t heap will you.

Malcolm Hughes:
Open the glove box.

Frank Baker:
All right.

Frank Baker:
This is a convertible.

Judith:
Oh yeah?

Judith:
[to Frank] You've blown it Frank!

Malcolm Hughes:
[to Frank] How do you get the money?

TV Announcer:
One is registered LDW, the other O73. Police describe the drivers as being in their early thirties.

Malcolm Hughes:
Hands up you arseholes! Nobody move!

Malcolm Hughes:
Get back or I'll shoot.

Judith:
What in God's name got into you?

Frank Baker:
He did it himself.

Judith:
Crap Frank. You're a bloody liar!

Frank Baker:
Cops wouldn't know where to start looking. He never left his bedroom.

Judith:
They're not total idiots. They find out sooner or later.