Man Who Would Be King

Billy Fish:
I know you, you English persons. Take off hat to woman, give name to dog.

Daniel Dravot:
Peachy, I'm heartily ashamed for gettin' you killed instead of going home rich like you deserved to, on account of me bein' so bleedin' high and bloody mighty. Can you forgive me?

Peachy Carnehan:
That I can and that I do, Danny, free and full and without let or hindrance.

Daniel Dravot:
Everything's all right then.

Daniel Dravot:
Let him put *that* in his paper. If he is in need of news.

Peachy Carnehan:
Keep looking at me. It helps to keep my soul from flying off.

Peachy Carnehan:
Pardon me while I fall down laughing. HA, HA, HA.

Peachy Carnehan:
Detriments you call us? Detriments? Well I want to remind you that it was detriments like us that built this bloody Empire AND the Izzat of the bloody Raj. Hats on.

Peachy Carnehan:
Home to what? A porters uniform outside a restaurant and six penny tips from belching civilians for closing cab doors on their blowzy women?

Daniel Dravot:
Not for us thank you. Not after watching afghans come howling down out of the hills and taking battlefield command when all the officers bought it.

Peachy Carnehan:
Well said, brother Dravot.

Daniel Dravot:
The more tribes, the more they'll fight, and the better for us.

Daniel Dravot:
In any place where they fight, a man who knows how to drill men can always be a King. We shall go to those parts and say to any King we find - "D'you want to vanquish your foes?' and we will show him how to drill men; for that we know better than anything else. Then we will subvert that King and seize his Throne and establish a Dynasty.

Daniel Dravot:
When we're done with you, you'll be able to stand up and slaughter your enemies like civilized men.

Peachy Carnehan:
It took him half an hour to fall.

Peachy Carnehan:
Now, the problem is, how to divide five Afghans from three mules and have two Englishmen left over.

Daniel Dravot:
You are going to become soldiers. A soldier does not think. He only obeys. Do you really think that if a soldier thought twice he'd give his life for queen and country? Not bloody likely.

Daniel Dravot:
Billy Fish, do they always use such a big ball?

Billy Fish:
Depend on size of man's head. Big head, big ball, small head, small ball. That Bashki man. Oh big damn head.

Peachy Carnehan:
Danny's just a man, not a god. He can break wind at both ends simultaneously - which is more than any god can do.

Peachy Carnehan:
Danny, let us seek safety on the battlefield.

Billy Fish:
He wants to know if you are gods.

Peachy Carnehan:
Not gods - Englishmen. The next best thing.

Daniel Dravot: