Marvel: Ultimate Alliance

Deadpool:
The day my father Odin banished me from Asgard, I was bitten by a vampire and had radioactive waste dumped into my eyes. To make matters worse, my mutant ability to control weather activated just as I was hit by a blast of gamma radiation. Nah, actually, I got this way by volunteering for the Weapon X program. They promised to cure my cancer. And they cured it all right, by giving me an outrageous healing factor. Then they labeled me psychotic and tossed me into a prison lab. So I escaped and became what some people might call a 'mercenary'. I prefer the title 'cleaner of the gene pool'. And I've made a lot of good friends along the way: like Arcade. He's always sending me to his amusement park.

Arcade:
HELLO, Deadpool. Ready for a fun filled day in Murderworld?

Deadpool:
Yup. I've got my sunscreen on and I've taken my motion sickness pills so bring on the rides!

Arcade:
Oh, I don't think you understand. You're going to die here.

Deadpool:
I know! Carnivals always slay me.

Arcade:
No. You are going to physically die... as in stop breathing. You will cease to exist.

Deadpool:
Riiiiiight... So do you have bumper cars here?

Arcade:
Arrrgh!

Thor:
[leveling up] By the power of Asgard!

Ghost Rider:
Vengeance is mine!

Wolverine:
Xavier's the one whose close to Lilandra, they use to be good friends... *really good* friends [chuckles and nudges an elbow towards Spider-Man] if you catch my meaning...

Deadpool:
I just wish we could have been friends.

Deadpool:
[Leveling up] And now I'm better at doing whatever it is Wolverine does!

Deadpool:
Black Widow, I've gotta know... Are those real?

Black Widow:
I beg your pardon?

Deadpool:
Ahh... Your teeth, they're just so darn shiny and straight.

Deadpool:
[Leveling up] Did I win a new car, too?

Deadpool:
Hey, did I enter the side show tent? 'Cause you look like the dog faced boy.

Dark Spider-Man:
Oh, you are a wit, Deadpool... or at least half of one. Tell me, do the chicks go for your insane babble?

Deadpool:
About as much as they go for your attempts at self-deprecating humor.

Dark Spider-Man:
So then it doesn't work.

Deadpool:
[Badly hurt] I need help! And a pony!

Thor:
Soulless machine! How dare you strike the son of Odin!

Spider-Man:
[about Wolverine] That dude scares me.

Spider-Man:
Man, S.H.I.E.L.D. is the coolest! They have flying aircraft carriers, bases on wheels, tell me you guys have a tunnel going from New York to Tokyo?

Wolverine:
[to Spider-Man, Captain America and Thor] What are you girls looking at?

Blade:
[after defeating an enemy] You, uh, might want to see a doctor now.

Spider-Man:
Hey, Cap, looks like you...

[Captain America quickly dispatches a group of robots]

Spider-Man:
could use some help...

Deadpool:
[after speaking with Nick Fury] Sir! Yes Sir! Stowing all stupid thoughts! Uh, is that vein on your forehead meant to be throbbing like that?

Deadpool:
[after Black Widow has told him that he's going to face Dr. Doom] Wait, we're going to fight Dr. Doom? No one told me we were going to fight Doom! I want my lawyer! I want my mummy! I want my lawyer's mummy!

Deadpool:
Whatever happens, remember to protect me.

Deadpool:
A haiku, by Deadpool: I hate broccoli / And think it totally sucks / Why is it not meat?

Fin Fang Foom:
I know you, human! You are the wizard, Doctor Strange.

Doctor Strange:
And I know of you as well, Fin Fang Foom. Leave this place. I have no wish to destroy you. But make no sense, I will if you remain here.

Fin Fang Foom:
You overestimate your powers, sorcerer. I am far mightier than any creature you have ever faced before!

Doctor Strange:
But this battle is useless. The Masters of Evil have lost and you are all that remains of their forces.

Fin Fang Foom:
I will send this ship crashing to the Earth then all the world will see that the Masters of Evil are a force to be reckoned with.

Doctor Strange:
By the Hoary Hosts of Hoggoth, I will not allow that.

Fin Fang Foom:
Call upon all of your mystic powers, wizard - but the might of Fin Fang Foom will prevail!

Magneto:
It would appear the Masters of Evil have enlisted alien allies. My powers will be more than a match for this beast.

Fin Fang Foom:
You overestimate your powers, sorcerer. I am far mightier than any creature you have ever faced before.

Magneto:
My power is quite beyond sorcery. I control the elemental power of the universe itself.

Fin Fang Foom:
I will send this ship crashing to the Earth then all the world will see that the Masters of Evil are a force to be reckoned with.

Magneto:
Seeing as this vessel is made of metal, crashing it may prove most difficult for you.

Fin Fang Foom:
Call upon all of your mystic powers, wizard - but the might of Fin Fang Foom will prevail!

Spider-Man:
[low on health] Your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man could use some help!

Iron Man:
[leveling up] Time for an upgrade!

Galactus:
Such... insignificant creatures. They dare to steal from Galactus? For that, I shall destroy their planet!

Venom:
[low on health] I'm fading into dust.

Ymir:
That petty tyrant has been defeated and is now in the control of Dr. Doom. What a battle that was! The look upon Odin's face will long be a treasured memory.

Galactus:
Your loss is inevitable!

Deadpool:
I'm low on energy, but full of vitamin C!

Deadpool:
I can't go that way, so stop shovin'!

Deadpool:
[about Weasel] Oh, yeah, he's totally trustworthy! Except where money's involved. He would sell his granny's walking cane for a buck. In fact, I bought his granny's walking cane for a buck!

Tony Stark's Receptionist:
Warning: a small thermonuclear device is missing, and Deadpool was last seen in the weapons lab.

Deadpool:
Weasel old buddy! Where have you been hiding out?

Weasel:
In the hospital, you stabbed me in the leg remember?

Deadpool:
Oh yeah, but I had to, you were trying to steal my last Cheesy Puff

Weasel:
It was my bag of Cheesy Puffs!

Deadpool:
That's not how I remember it.

Dr. Doom:
[after being defeated in the final battle] Fools. You have accomplished nothing!

[the glow around Doom's hands suddenly disappears]

Odin:
[Booming] Doom!

Dr. Doom:
Odin! You can't be free!

Odin:
Your wretched scheme is undone and your black soul is mine!

Dr. Doom:
Noooo!

[a lighting bolt strikes Doom and he disapperes, leaving only his mask behind]

Odin:
An eternity of suffering is the fate of those who challange the gods!

Spider-Man:
[thinking Doom killed him] Where am I? Am I dead? Then why does heaven smell like a wet dog?

Spider-Man:
[turns his head, sees Wolverine] Never mind...

Spider-Man:
Next time, I wanna fight someone that doesn't smell like old cheese.

Ancient One:
Who would dare disturb my meditation?

Deadpool:
Grampy, is that you? Wow, you got a lot older... and uglier too.

Ancient One:
You buffoon. I am not your grandfather. I am the Ancient One, teacher of Dr. Strange.

Deadpool:
Are you sure? You're really grouchy just like Grampy was.

Deadpool:
Hi, Black Bolt. How are ya? [Black Bolt says nothing] Oh, that's right. You can't talk can you? Your voice is so powerful, it would destroy half of Atillan if you said anything at all. [Black Bolt still says nothing] But c'mon, let's put that to the test. Just say one tiny word: 'Spatula.' [Black Bolt still says nothing] Oh, don't be such a stick in the mud. Come on, repeat after me: 'Spatula.'

Ancient One:
Is that you, my student?

Doctor Strange:
Yes, master. It is I, Doctor Strange.

Ancient One:
Why have you disturbed my meditation, young one?

Doctor Strange:
The world is in grave peril, master. Dr. Doom has formed a band of villains known as the Masters of Evil. I would ask that you watch over us, aid us in whatever way you can.

Ancient One:
Rest assured, my friend, that the eyes of the Ancient One will forever be on you and your team.

Doctor Strange:
Thank you, my master.

Captain America:
Thor, take care of those gunships. Spider-Man, drive them towards the stern.

Spider-Man:
Sure thing. I just love being the target.

Captain America:
Wolverine...

Wolverine:
Stow it boy scout, I don't take orders from you.

Iron Man:
Glad to see you remember me, Crimson Dynamo. It's been a while since I kicked your tin-plated butt.

Crimson Dynamo:
You will not defeat me this time. My new battlesuit is vastly superior to your armor.

Iron Man:
Could have fooled me. You look like something from the early 1960's.

Captain America:
[leveling up] Just like the Super Soldier serum!

Spider-Man:
[leveling up] This is better than a spider bite!

Moon Knight:
[leveling up] Another victory for you, Khonshu!

Black Panther:
[sniffs] Wolverine was the last one in this room, wasn't he?

Voice-Over Director:
Yes, he was. How did you know that?

Black Panther:
It smells of cheap cigars and beef jerky.

Human Torch:
[after defeating an enemy] Ding! The turkey is done.

Blade:
[after defeating an enemy] It's been a slice.

Mephisto:
So you have finally arrived in my domain! Good. I have been waiting for you and your friends for quite some time, Thor.

Thor:
What do you mean you've been waiting for us? And why do you have Ghost Rider trapped here?

Mephisto:
Don't take that tone with me. You may be a god in Asgard, but in this realm I am the ultimate power. Still, your concerns for Ghost Rider are rather touching. But are you so concerned that you would trade places with him?

Thor:
How do we know that you will not ensnare us all, Mephisto? You are well known for not following your own bargains.

Mephisto:
I follow my bargains to the letter. I cannot help it if others misinterpret what was said.

Thor:
You and my brother Loki are very much alike. Deception is in your own blood.

Captain America:
Winter Soldier, give up. I'm here to stop you from destroying the Helicarrier engines.

Winter Soldier:
Captain America! Can't say it's good to see you again.

Radioactive Man:
You have dealt with this fool before?

Winter Soldier:
Oh yeah. Cap and I go way back. Don't we, buddy?

Captain America:
Winter Soldier, please. Stop this before the Helicarrier is destroyed. Thousands of lives will be lost.

Winter Soldier:
Sorry, no can do. I've got my orders. You of all people understand that, don't you? Orders have been so important to you.

Captain America:
I'll fight you if I have to.

Winter Soldier:
Then what are you waiting for? Let's see what you've got old man.

Dr. Doom:
Radioactive Man... Winter Soldier, report. Why haven't you destroyed that stabilizing engine yet?

Winter Soldier:
Sorry, we got a little carried away. But we're on it. Lower the force fields and let's clear out of here.

Radioactive Man:
It is lucky for you we must depart. I was just getting warmed up. But we will meet again. I promise you!

Venom:
Well, it isn't another enemy of my enemy. I've enjoyed saving the innocent from stray missiles and the like, but what I really like is a chat with the worst of them all - Spider-Man. Have you seen your old friend lately bubble-head?

Mysterio:
I've heard enough of your babbling.

Venom:
Well then why don't you listen to the sounds of my shredding you into little teeny bits. It's your funeral! Enjoy!

Cyclope:
Surrender while you still can