Mary Poppins

Mrs. Banks:
She seemed so solemn and cross.

George Banks:
Never confuse efficiency with a liver complaint.

Mary Poppins:
Just as I thought. "Mary Poppins, pratically perfectly in every way."

Mary Poppins:
In every job that must be done, there is an element of fun. You find the fun and - SNAP - the job's a game.

Mrs. Banks:
As a matter of fact, since you hired Mary Poppins, the most extraordinary things seem to have come over the household.

Mr. Banks:
Is that so.

Mrs. Banks:
Take Ellen for instance. She hasn't broken a dish all morning.

Mr. Banks:
Really. Well, that is extraordinary.

Bert:
You're a man of high position, esteemed by your peers. And when your little tykes are crying, you haven't time to dry their tears... And see their thankful little faces smiling up at you... 'Cause their dad, he always knows just what to do...

George Banks:
...Well, look - I...

Bert:
Say no more, Gov'ner. You've got to grind, grind, grind at that grindstone... Though childhood slips like sand through a sieve... And all too soon they've up and grown, and then they've flown... And it's too late for you to give - just that spoonful of sugar to 'elp the medicine go down - medicine go down - medicine go down. Well, so long, Gov'ner. Sorry to have troubled you.

George Banks:
A British bank is run with precision / A British home requires nothing less / Tradition, discipline and rules / Must be the tools / Without them: disorder, catastrophe, anarchy / In short, you have a ghastly mess.

Horseman:
View hallo!

Fox:
View hallo? Faith and begora, it's them redcoats again!

Bert:
You know,begging you pardon, but the one who my heart goes out for is your father. There he is in that cold, heartless bank day after day, hemmed in by mounds of cold, heartless money. I don't like to see any living thing caged up.

Jane:
Father in a cage?

Bert:
They makes cages in all sizes and shapes, you know. Bank-shaped some of 'em, carpets and all.

Mary Poppins:
So if the cat has got your tongue, there's no need for dismay / Just summon up this word and then you've got a lot to say / But better use it carefully or it could change your life...

Mary Poppins:
Yes?

Mary Poppins:
Chim Chiminy, Chim Chiminy, Chim Chim Chiree/When you're with a 'sweep, you're in glad company.

Bert:
Never was there a more happier crew/Than them what sings Chim Chim Chiree Chim Chiroo! Chim Chim Chiminy Chim Chim Chiree Chim Chiroo...

Bert:
Winds from the east... Mist comin' in... Like somethin' was brewin', about to begin... Can't put me finger on what lies in store... But I feel what's to 'appen, all 'appened before...!

Mr. Dawes Sr.:
When stand the banks of England, England stands - whoa, whoa...!

Mr. Dawes Sr.:
When fall the banks of England... ENGLAND FALLS!

Mrs. Banks:
Oh, George, you didn't jump into the river. How sensible of you!

Bert:
Winds in the east, mist coming in, / Like somethin' is brewin' and bout to begin. / Can't put me finger on what lies in store, / But I fear what's to happen all happened before.

Mr. Dawes Sr.:
Well, Banks - have you anything to say for yourself?

George Banks:
Well, sir, they say that when you have nothing to say, all you can say is...

Mr. Dawes Sr.:
Confound it, Banks! I said do you have anything to say!

George Banks:
Only one thing, sir...

Mr. Dawes Sr.:
Eh?

George Banks:
Supercallifragilisticexpialidocious!

Bert:
You think... you wink... you do a double blink. You close your eyes, and JUMP.

Jane:
Was something supposed to happen?

Mary Poppins:
Bert, what utter nonsense. Why do you always complicate things that are really quite simple. Give me your hand please Michael. Don't slouch. One, two...

Mr. Banks:
Just a moment, Mary Poppins. What is the meaning of this outrage?

Mary Poppins:
I beg your pardon?

Mr. Banks:
Will you be good enough to explain all this?

Mary Poppins:
First of all I would like to make one thing perfectly clear.

Mr. Banks:
Yes?

Mary Poppins:
I never explain anything.

Bert:
It's true that Mavis and Sybil have ways that are winning And Prudence and Gwendolyn set your heart spinning Phoebe's delightful, Maude is disarming

Penguins:
Janice, Felicia, Lydia.

Bert:
Charming Cynthia's dashing, Vivian's sweet Stephanie's smashing, Priscilla a treat.

Penguins:
Veronica, Millicent, Agnes, and Jane.

Bert:
Convivial company, time and again. Dorcas and Phyllis and Glynis are sorts I'll agree are three jolly good sports But cream of the crop, tip of the top It's Mary Poppins, and there we stop.

George Banks:
Kindly do not attempt to cloud the issue with facts.

Jane:

Mary Poppins:
Close your mouth please, Michael, we are not a codfish.

Mary Poppins:
Of course, you can say it backwards, which is dociousaliexpilisticfragicalirupus, but that's going a bit too far, don't you think?

Bert:
Indubitably.

Bert:
Aw, Mrs. Corey. A story for you: your daughters were shorter than you, but they grew.

Bert:
Bert will take care of you. Like I was your own father. Now who's after you?

Jane:
Father is.

Bert:
What?

Bert:
Reminds me of a guy I know who got a cushy job in a watch factor.

Uncle Albert:
What does he do?

Bert:
He stands about all day and makes faces.

Uncle Albert:
Ha ha ha. He makes faces in a watch factory.

Mr. Dawes Jr:
In 1773, an official on this bank unwisely loaned a large sum of money to finance a shipment of tea to the American colonies. Do you know what happened?

George W. Banks:
Yes, sir, I think I do. As the ship lay in Boston Harbor, a party the colonists dressed as red Indians boarded the vessel, behaved very rudely, and threw all the tea overboard, making the tea unsuitable for drinking. Even for Americans.

Mr. Dawes Jr:
Precisely. The loan was defaulted. Panic ensued within these walls. There was a run on the bank.

Mr. Dawes Sr.:
From that time to this, sir, there has not been a run on this bank... UNTIL TODAY. A run, sir, caused by the disgraceful conduct of your son, do you deny it?

Mary Poppins:
I beg your pardon, are you ill?

George Banks:
I hope not.

Mary Poppins:
Supercalifrajalisticexpialidocious.

Jane:
Good morning, father. Mary Poppins taught us the most wonderful word.

Michael:
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.

George W. Banks:
What on Earth are you talking about? Superca - Super - or whatever the infernal thing is.

Jane:
It's something to say when you don't know what to say.

George W. Banks:
Yes, well, I always know what to say.

Bert:
Here we are, number 17 Cherry Tree Lane, residence of George Banks Esq.

Bert:
'ello, 'ello, 'ello? Admiral's right. 'eavy weather brewing at Number 17 and no mistake.

Bert:
Speaking of names, I know a man with a wooden leg named Smith.

Uncle Albert:
What's the name of his other leg?

Bert:
Uncle Albert, I got a jolly joke for just such an occasion. Would you like to hear it?

Uncle Albert:
I'd be so grateful.

Bert:
Well it's about me granddad, see, and one night he has a nightmare. So bad, he chewed his pillow to bits. Bits. In the morning, I says, "How you feeling, Granddad?" He says, "Oh not bad, a little down in the mouth".

Bert:
I always say there's nothing like a good joke.

Uncle Albert:
And that was nothing like a good joke.

Uncle Albert:
A friend of mine went to buy some long underwear. The shopkeeper asked him, "How long do you want it?" And my friend said, "From about September to March".

Bert:
The whole world takes it's time from Greenwich, but Greenwich, they say, takes it's time from Admiral Boom.

Bert:
I'll do it myself.

Mary Poppins:
Do what?

Bert:
A bit of magic. It's easy. You think. You wink. You do a double blink. You close your eyes... And jump.

Jane:
Is something supposed to happen?

George Banks:
Have this piano repaired. When I sit down to an instrument, I like to have it in tune.

Mrs. Banks:
But George, you don't play.

George Banks:
Madam, that is entirely beside the point!

Michael:
I want it to feed the birds.

Mr. Dawes Sr:
Fiddlesticks, Boy. Feed the birds and what have you got? Fat birds.

Bert:
What did I tell ya? There's the whole world at your feet. And who gets to see it? But the birds, the stars and the chimney sweeps.

Mary Poppins:
Enough is as good as a feast.

Well, if you must you must.

Burt, what utter nonsense!

Admiral Boom:
Time Gun ready?

Mr. Binnacle:
Ready and charged, Sir.

Admiral Boom:
Three minutes and six seconds.

Mr. Binnacle:
Aye, aye, sir.

Bert:
[to the audience] What he's famous for is punctuality [touches his nose as he says this]. The whole world takes it's time from Greenwich. But Greenwich they say, takes it's time from Admiral Boom. [calling up to the admiral] What cheer, Admiral?

Admiral Boom:
Good afternoon to you, young man. Where are you bound?

Bert:
Number 17. Got some parties who want to see it.

Admiral Boom:
Enter that in the log.

Mr. Binnacle:
Aye, aye, sir.

Admiral Boom:
A word of advice, young man. Storm signals are up at number 17. Bit of heavy weather brewing there.

Bert:
Thank you sir! Keep an eye skinned.

[George and Winifred are talking about the failure of their previous nanny]

Winifred:
I'm sorry, dear, but when I chose Katie Nana, I thought she would be firm with the children. She seemed so solemn and cross.

George:
My dear, never confuse efficiency with a liver complaint.

Jane:
[reads an ad she and Michael wrote] Wanted: a nanny for two adorable children.

George:
Adorable — well that's highly debatable, I must say.

[Jane continues reading while singing alone.]

Jane:
If you want this choice position, have a cheery disposition...

George:
Jane, I don't... [Winifred silences him.]

Jane:
Rosy cheeks, no warts...

Michael:
That's the part I put in!

Jane:
Play games all sorts. You must be kind, you must be witty; very sweet and fairly pretty...

George:
Well, of all the ridic... [Winifred silences him again.]

Jane:
Take us on outings, give us treats. Sing songs, bring sweets. Never be cross or cruel, never feed us castor oil, or gruel. Love us as a son and daughter, and never smell of barley water...

Michael:
I put that in, too.

Jane:
If you won't scold and dominate us, we will never give you cause to hate us. We won't hide your spectacles so you can't see, put toads in your bed, or pepper in your tea. Hurry, Nanny! Many thanks! Sincerely...

Michael and Jane:
Jane and Michael Banks.

[Having seen Mary Poppins's first arrival as she's floating down from the sky.]

Michael:
Perhaps it's a witch.

Jane:
Of course not. Witches have brooms.

[As George puts his head down in the fireplace, to look for his children's ad, which he ripped up, and is now mended in Mary Poppins' hand.]

Mary Poppins:
I beg your pardon, are you ill?

George:
I hope not.

Jane & Michael:
Please, Mary Poppins, please?

Mary Poppins:
I have no intention of making a spectacle of myself, thank you.

Bert:
I'll do it myself.

Mary Poppins:
Do what?

Bert:
A bit of magic.

Michael:
A bit of magic?

Bert:
It's easy. You think. You wink. You do a double blink. You close your eyes... And jump.

[Nothing happens]

Jane:
Is something supposed to happen?

Mary Poppins:
Bert, what utter nonsense. [sighs] Why do you always complicate things that are really quite simple? Give me your hand please, Michael. Don't slouch. One, two...

[They jump into the sidewalk drawing. Afterwards, they find that their clothes have magically transformed.]

Bert:
Mary Poppins, you look beeeeautiful.

Mary Poppins:
Do you really think so?

Bert:
I cross my heart you do, like the day I met ya.

Mary Poppins:
You look fine too, Bert.

Horseman:
View halloo!

Horse:
Oh, yes, definitely. A view halloo.

Fox:
View halloo?! [The horseman blows a trumpet, causing his dogs to go charge at the Fox.] Faith and begora, it's them redcoats again!

Gentleman:
There probably aren't words to describe your emotions.

Mary Poppins:
On the contrary, there's a very good word. Am I right, Bert?

Bert:
Tell 'em what is it.

Mary Poppins:
Right. Iiiiit's Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.

Mary Poppins:
You know, you can say it backwards, which is dociousaliexpilisticfragicalirupus, but that's going a bit too far, don't you think?

Bert:
Indubitably.

Mary Poppins:
[sings] So if the cat has got your tongue, there's no need for dismay...

Bert:
Here, here.

Mary Poppins: [sings] Just summon up this word and then you've got a lot to say But better use it carefully or it could change your life...

Busker:
For example...

Mary Poppins:
Yes?

Busker:
One night I said it to me girl, and now me girl's me wife. [Wife hits him with tambourine] Ow! And a lovely thing she is, too.

George:
Ellen, stop making that offensive noise. And shut the window. That bird is giving me a headache.

Ellen:
Yes, sir! [to the bird] Quiet! You're giving the master an 'eadache.

[The bird chirps one last time and Ellen shuts the window.]

Bert:
Speaking of sight, it reminds me of me brother. He's got a nice cushy job in a watch factory.

Uncle Albert:
In a watch factory? What does he do?

Bert:
[laughs] He stands about all day and makes faces!

Uncle Albert:
[laughs] He makes faces in a watch factory!

George:
[As they arrive at the bank where George works] We must be on our best behavior.

Michael:
But I thought it was your bank.

George:
Well, I'm one of the younger officers, so in a sense it is. Sort of.

Michael:
[about his tuppence] I want it to feed the birds.

Mr. Dawes Sr:
Fiddlesticks, boy. Feed the birds and what have you got? Fat birds. But...

[sings] If you invest your tuppence wisely

in the bank safe and sound,

soon, the tuppence, safely invested in the bank,

will compound.

And you'll achieve that sense of conquest as you affluence expands

in the hands of the directors who invest... [coughs] ...As propriety... [coughs again] ...Demands. [coughs once more]

George:
May I, Sir?

Mr. Dawes Sr:
Carry on, Banks.

[After Jane and Michael realized that the man who startled them was only Bert as a chimney sweep for the day]

Jane:
Bert. It's you.

Bert:
In the flesh and at your service.

Michael:
You're filthy.

Bert:
Oh. Perhaps a smudge or two? It so happens that today, I'm a chimney sweep.

Jane:
Oh, Bert, we're so frightened!

Bert:
Now, now, don't take on so. Bert will look after you. Like I was your own father. Now who's after you?

Jane:
Father is.

Bert:
What?

[Jane and Michael have just told Bert that the run on the bank is their fault.]

Bert:
Let's sit down. You know, begging you pardon, but the one who my heart goes out for is your father. There he is in that cold, heartless bank day after day, hemmed in by mounds of cold, heartless money. I don't like to see any living thing caged up.

Jane:
Father? In a cage?

Bert:
They makes cages in all sizes and shapes, you know. Bank-shaped some of 'em, carpets and all.

Jane:
But Father isn't in trouble, we are.

Bert:
Oh, sure about that, are you? Look at it this way. You've got your mother to look after you. And Mary Poppins and Constable Jones and me. Who looks after your father? Tell me that. When something terrible happens, what does he do? Fends for himself, he does. Who does he tell about it? No one! Don't blab his troubles at home. He just pushes on at his job, uncomplaining and alone and silent.

Michael:
He's not very silent.

Jane:
Michael, be quiet. And Bert, do you think father really needs our help?

Bert:
Well, Jane, it's not my place to say. [the three of them stand up] I only observe that a father can always do it with a bit of help. Come on, I'll take you home.

"First of all I would like to make one thing quite clear.

I never explain anything"

Mary Poppins:
Sacked?! Certainly not, I am never sacked.

George Banks: It's grand to be an Englishman in 1910 King Edward's on the throne; it's the age of men.

George Banks:
It's 6:03 and the heirs to my dominion are scrubbed and tubbed, and adequately fed. And so I'll pat them on the head, and send them off to bed. Ah, lordly is the life I lead.

George Banks: A man has dreams of walking with giants To carve his niche in the edifice of time Before the mortar of his zeal Has a chance to congeal The cup is dashed from his lips The flame is snuffed a-borning He's brought to wrack and ruin in his prime.

Winifred Banks:
[sings] Our daughters' daughters will adore us and they'll sing in grateful chorus, "Well done, sister suffragettes."

Winifred Banks:
[sings] Though we adore men individually, we agree that as a group they're rather stupid.

Bert:
Oh, it's you! Hello! … Number 17 Cherry Tree Lane, you say? Alright. … Come on with me.…

Bert:
Not Royal Academy, I suppose. Still better than a finger in the eye, ain't they?

Bert:
Goodbye, Mary Poppins, don't stay away too long.

Admiral Boom:
[observes the long queue of want-to-be nannies] Ghastly looking crew, I must say!

Old Crone:
Come with me, my dears. Granny'll hide you!

Winifred Banks:
Well, there're missing. Katie Nanna has looking everywhere.

George Banks:
Very well. I'll deal with this at once.

George:
Give me the police station, quickly, please.

Winifred:
I don't think, we need the police, dear. The facts of the matter--

George:
Come in, Constable. Come in.

Constable Jones:
Thank you, sir.

George:
Valuables?

Constable:
Come along, now. Come along.

Winifred:
Jane! Michael!

George:
Winifred, please. Don't be emotional.

Constable:
Oh, I wouldn't be too hard on them, sir. They've had a long, weary walk today.

George:
Children, come here at once. Well?

Jane Banks:
I'm sorry, we lost Katie Nanna, Father.

Michael Banks:
You see, it was windy.

Jane:
And, the kite was too strong for us.

Jane:
Thank you, Constable.

George:
I would indeed! Ellen, take Jane and Michael upstairs straightaway.

Ellen:
Yes, sir.

George:
Thank you. Most interesting. And now, I think we've had quite enough of this nonsense. Please return to the nursery.

Winifred:
They we're only trying to help. They're just childen.

Geroge:
I'm well they're just children, Winifred. I only congratulate myself that I decided to step in and take a hand. ( paper rips ) "Play games, sing songs, give treats." Ridiculous. There's no question in my mind whatsover. Now, is the time for action.

George:
Give me The Times, please. No, I do not know the number.

Winifred:
Oh, George, you're alaways so forceful.

George:
The Times? George Banks here. 17 Cherry Tree Line. I wish to place an advertisement in your column.

George Banks:
[shakes Winifred's hands] You know, Winifred, I think she will. [Laughs] I think she will!

Bert:
[Surprised] What? No road?!

Bert:
[Laughs while taking a tissue from his pocket] It's just good clean soot, Michael.