McLintock!

George Washington McLintock:
I know I'm gonna use good judgement. I haven't lost my temper in 40 years, but pilgrim you caused a lot of trouble this monring, might have got somebody killed... and somebody oughta belt you in the mouth. But I won't, I won't. The hell I won't

George Washington McLintock:
I've got a touch of hangover, bureaucrat. Don't push me.

Drago:
I'm sorry Katherine - that Katie just slipped out from times when I remember you as being nice people...

Katherine McClintock:
Are you going to stand there with that stupid look on your face while the hired help insults your wife?

George Washington McLintock:
He can't help it - he's just ignorant. He doesn't know any better than to tell the truth. And I can't help this stupid look. I started acquiring it as you gained in social prominence!

George Washington McLintock:
And I am *not* intoxicated... yet!

George Washington McLintock:
This is probably the first marriage I've ever seen that started out with a spanking!

George Washington McLintock:
Cuthbert H. Humphrey, Governor of our territory, is a cull. Do you know what a cull is, ma'am? A cull is a specimen that is so worthless that you have to cut him out of the herd. Now if all the people in the world were put in one herd, Cuthbert is the one I would throw a rope at.

Becky McLintock:
Such vulgarity. Somebody should do something.

Matt Douglas Jr:
You're right... absolutely right.

George Washington McLintock:
Dev, what are you doing?

Devlin Warren:
I just thought I'd get another cigar.

George Washington McLintock:
Well you've got one in your mouth and two burning in the tray... and that move.

Becky McLintock:
Junior's not a dude - he's nifty!

Curly Fletcher:
Makes seven times this month he's come home swoggled.

Drago:
Six.

Curly Fletcher:
Seven!

Drago:
Six! Once was his birthday - that don't count.

George Washington McLintock:
If these settlers get burned out, there'll be a lot of hollerin' that this country is too wild to be a state. We'll go on bein' a territory some more, with a lot of political appointees runnin' it according to what they learned in some college where they think cows are somethin' you milk and Indians are somethin' in front of a cigar store.

George Washington McLintock:
Becky! Come here. Somethin' I ought to tell you. Guess now's as good a time as any. You're going to have every young buck west of the Missouri around here tryin' to marry you - mostly because you're a handsome filly, but partly because I own everything in this country from here to there. They'll think you're going to inherit it. Well, you're not. I'm going to leave most of it to, well, to the nation really, for a park where no lumbermen'll cut down all the trees for houses with leaky roofs. Nobody'll kill all the beaver for hats for dudes nor murder the buffalo for robes. What I'm going to give you is a 500 cow spread on the Upper Green River. Now that may not seem like much, but it's more than we had, your mother and I. Some folks are gonna say I'm doin' all this so I can sit up in the hereafter and look down on a park named after me, or that I was disappointed in you - didn't want you to get all that money. But the real reason, Becky, is because I love you, and I want you and some young man to have what I had, because all the gold in the United States Treasury and all the harp music in heaven can't equal what happens between a man and a woman with all that growin' together. I can't explain it any better than that.

Running Buffalo:
Swell party, where's the whisky?

Day off? Off day!

Becky:
Why did you and Mama stop living together Daddy. Why'd you separate?

Aren't you going to answer me?

G.W. McLintock:
Nope

Becky:
It's sort of my business I think.

G.W. McLintock:
I don't

Becky:
Is it another woman? It usually is.

G.W. McLintock:
At your age you always know what's usual.

Becky:
Is it Mrs. Warren?

G.W. McLintock:
I don't want to start laying the law down your first day back. But I'll have no more such talk. The first time I saw Mrs. Warren was last week. She has a job here at which she's very good.

And, I hope you'll have the good manners not to pry into other people's business, your mothers and mine.

Half the people in the world are women, why does it have to be you that stirs me.

"The government never gave anybody anything!"

Mrs McClintock:
It’s sad these changing times.

Becky:
it is t the times that are changing, Mama.

Katherine:

"310 times without a miss! That's a record!"

Goodnight governor (patting mules ass)