Meet the Engineer

Engineer:
[the Engineer is sitting on a toolbox in front of his truck, playing guitar, in front of an unseen fire. Next to him is a level 1 sentry gun, and a kill counter at 209] Hey look, buddy, I'm an Engineer. That means I solve problems. [a gunshot ricochet off his truck is ignored] Not problems like "What is beauty?", because that would fall within the purview of your conundrums of philosophy. [two more gunshot ricochets, glanced briefly at] I solve practical problems. [he swigs a bottle of beer while his level 1 sentry shoots a Heavy off screen]

Heavy:
[screams]

Engineer:
[puts the beer down and keeps playing guitar, the kill counter goes up to 210] For instance... [an unknown figure off to the Engineer's left starts sneaking up in the distance] How am I going to stop some big mean mother hubbard from tearing me a structurally superfluous new behind? [the sentry gun spots and shoots this person too, bring the counter to 211] The answer... [a second, level 2 sentry gun kills an offscreen Scout and someone else]

Scout:
[screams]

Engineer:
[the counter goes up to 213] Use a gun. And if that don't work, [a level three sentry fires rockets] use more gun. [he stops playing guitar again. The rockets hit their mark and the Engineer grins]

Scout:
MY ARM! [the counter goes to 214 and an arm lands in front of the Engineer]

Engineer:
[He resumes playing] Like this heavy caliber, tripod-mounted, little ol' number designed by me, [he kicks the hand into the air and the small sentry shoots it] built by me, [the same sentry shoots a soldier off screen, counter to 215] and you'd best hope... not pointed at you. [pan out to reveal more BLU team members attempting to approach the Engineer, as he keeps playing with near the stolen truck, beer, and intelligence briefcases. The "campfire" was actually a BLU Sniper body]