Meet the Robinsons

Wilbur Robinson:
Well it's been a long hard day filled with emotional turmoil and dinosaur fights.

Wilbur Robinson:
I never thought my dad would be my best friend.

Franny:
Mister, you're grounded 'til you die.

Lewis:
Take a good look around, Doris, 'cause your future's about to change.

Mr. Willerstein:
Okay, next up is Lizzy and her fire ant farm.

Lizzy:
That's right.

Mr. Willerstein:
Lizzy, we talked about the fire ants. You know that they have a tendency to bite people.

Lizzy:
Only my enemies.

Mr. Willerstein:
Keep moving, shall we? Top notch, Lizzy! Let's not anger her, or make her jumpy in any way.

Bowler Hat Guy:
Ah, yes. You are now under my control.

Frankie:
I am now under your control.

(Bowler Hat Guy laughs; Frankie does monotone laughing)

Bowler Hat Guy:
Stop laughing.

Frankie:
Stop laughing.

Bowler Hat Guy:
Don't repeat everything I say.

Frankie:
I won't repeat everything you say.

Bowler Hat Guy:
Excellent.

Frankie:
Excellent.

Bowler Hat Guy:
Uh, did you just say "excellent" because I said "excellent"?

Frankie:
Uh, no.

Bowler Hat Guy:
Excellent.

Frankie:
Excellent.

Lewis:
Why is your dog wearing glasses?

Grandpa Bud:
Oh, because his insurance won't pay for contacts.

Bowler Hat Guy:
What's going on? Why aren't you seizing the boy?

Dinosaur:
[in dinosaur language] I have a big head, and little arms. I'm just not sure how well this plan was thought through.

Mr. Willerstein:
Dr Krunklehorn, I know you're very busy there at Inventco Labs, and we're just so excited to have you as a judge.

Dr. Krunklehorn:
It's my pleasure, Mr. Willerstein. Hey, you never know. One of your students may invent the next integrated circuit or microprocessor or integrated circuit. [stops Mr. Willerstein, realizing something] Oh, wait! I said that already. Well, I just don't get out of that lab very much. [Looks down at Mr. Willerstein's bow tie he's wearing.] Is that a bow tie? I like bow ties. I haven't slept in eight days!

Mr. Willerstein:
Well, can I offer you a cot?

Dr. Krunklehorn:
Nope. [places a sticker with a picture of a coffee mug on the Mr. Willerstein's forehead] I've got the caffeine patch. I invented it myself. One patch is the equivalent to twelve cups of coffee. You can stay awake for days with no side effects. [screams, scaring Mr. Willerstein] Sorry.

Mildred:
Poor Mr. Harrington.

Lewis:
(immediately scared) I killed him?

Mildred:
No, no. You didn't kill him. He's perfectly fine.

Tallulah:
Laszlo, you stop painting my hat, or I'm telling Ma.

Laszlo:
Ah, lighten up, sis.

Tallulah:
Lasz, I mean it.

Uncle Fritz:
Children, please. Your mother's trying to take a nap.

Aunt Petunia:
What is all the yelling out here?

Tallulah and Laszlo:
He/she started it.

Aunt Petunia:
I don't want to hear any more.

Uncle Fritz:
Now, sweetie--

Aunt Petunia:
[slaps Uncle Fritz] Don't you "sweetie" me. I'm going for a drive.

[sound of a car roaring away]

Grandpa Bud:
That's strange. She usually takes the Harley.

Gaston:
And so it begins. Ready, aim, fire.

Franny:
Ha. Surely that is not the best you can do. (sound doesn't match her lips, like a poorly dubbed martial arts movie)

Gaston:
Impressive, little sister. Your skills are strong, but not strong enough.

Franny:
Your words do not threaten me, brother.

Gaston:
Then enough words. Now the real battle begins.

Franny:
Your meatballs are useless against me.

Gaston:
Then perhaps it's time for spicy Italian sausage.

Franny:
[gasps] No!

Wilbur:
If I prove to you I'm from the future, will you go back to the Science Fair?

Lewis:
Yeah, sure; whatever you say.(Wilbur starts to push him on to the edge of the roof) Hey, where are we going? What are you doing? Let go of me.

Wilbur:
Okay. (pushes him off the roof)

Lewis:
(stops in midair) Ahh! (Wilber presses a button and a time machine appears) What is this? Where are we going?

Wilbur:
To...the future!

Wilbur:
[to Lewis] Pop quiz. Who've you met, and what have you learned?

Lewis:
Okay, Bud, Fritz, and Joe are brothers. Fritz is married to Petunia, and is she--

Wilbur:
Cranky? Yes.

Lewis:
Tallulah and Lazslo are their children, Joe is married to Billie, Lefty is the butler, Spike and Dimitri are twins and I don't know who they're related to.

Wilbur:
Neither do we. Go on.

Lewis:
Bud is married to Lucille and Cornelius is their son. What does Cornelius look like?

Wilbur:
(muses for a moment) Tom Selleck.

Lewis:
(muses for a moment) Okay, Cornelius is married to Franny and her brothers are Gaston and Art.

Wilbur:
You're forgetting something.

Lewis:
Forgetting--Oh, right. Wilbur is the son of Franny and Cornelius.

Wilbur:
And no one realized that you were from the past?

Lewis:
Nope.

Wilbur:
Whew.

Lewis:
Thank you, thank you, hold your applause, thank you very much.

Lewis:
[to Wilbur while fixing the time machine] I don't even know what I'm doing.

Wilbur:
Keep moving forward.

Lewis:
I mean, this stuff is way too advanced for me.

Wilbur:
Keep moving forward.

Lewis:
And what if I can't fix this? What are we gonna do?

Wilbur:
Keep moving forward.

Lewis:
Why do you keep saying that? And don't just say, 'keep moving forward.'

Wilbur:
It's my dad's motto.

Lewis:
Why would his motto be 'keep moving forward?'

Wilbur:
It's what he does.

Lewis:
What's that supposed to mean?

Wilbur:
That is an excellent question. Robinson Industries, the world's leading scientific-research and-design factory. My dad runs the company. They mass produce his inventions. His motto, 'Keep moving forward.' It's what he does.

Grandpa Bud:
What if Louis Armstrong said, "I can't"? You think he'd have walked on the moon?

Grandma Lucille:
Dear, Louis Armstrong was a singer.

“From failure, you learn, from success not so much,”

Wilbur:
The answer is not a time machine, [holds up the drawing of the Memory Scanner] It's this!

Lewis:
This? You want to know what I think about this? [tears up the drawing]

Wilbur:
What are you doing?!

Lewis:
I'm sorry, Wilbur. [moves up to take the wheel] You don't know what I've lived through.

Wilbur Lewis, no!

Lewis:
Let go!

Wilbur:
You let go!

Lewis:
You're not the boss of me!

Wilbur:
Yes, I am! 'Cause you're 12 and I'm 13! That makes me older!

Lewis:
Well, I was born in the past, which makes me older and the boss of you!

[After the Time Machine crashes]

Wilbur:
I am so dead. I'm not allowed to look at this thing, let alone drive it! Mom and Dad are gonna kill me, and I can tell you this - it will not be done with mercy!

Lewis:
Isn't there, like, a Time Machine Repair Shop, or something?

Wilbur:
[angrily] No! There's only 2 Time Machines in existence, and the Bowler Hat Guy has the other one!

Lewis:
Well, somebody's gonna have to fix this.

Wilbur:
Good idea! [pulls Lewis over to the wreck] You're smart, you fix it!

Lewis:
Are you crazy?! I can't fix this thing!

Wilbur:
Yes, you can! You broke it, you fix it!

Lewis:
[thinks for a moment] Alright, under one condition - I fix it, you take me back to see my Mom.

Wilbur:
What? You didn't even follow through on our last deal! How can I trust you?!

Lewis:
Well, you told me you were a Time-Cop from the future. How can I trust you?

Wilbur:
[long pause] Touche.

[The screen reads "Watch out!"]

Bowler Hat Guy (Future Goob):
Watch out!

[Memory Scanner crashes on him]

Bowler Hat Guy (Future Goob):
Doris, it's all over! All our hopes and dreams dashed, like so many pieces of a broken machiney thing.

[Doris squeaks]

Bowler Hat Guy (Future Goob):
You're right! Success is still ours for the taking! We must find that boy.

[Outside the garage]

Carl:
[deep, echoing voice] Who dares to disturb my sanctuary?!

Wilbur:
Carl, it's me. Let me in!

Carl:
None may enter unless they speak the royal password!

Wilbur:
Carl, what are you talking about? We don't have a password!

Carl:
Yes, we do! I made one up while you were gone!

Wilbur:
Then how am I supposed to know what it is?

Carl:
You, uh... [considers this] [normal voice] Good point. [the door opens]

[Carl runs away screaming upon seeing Lewis]

Lewis:
Well. That was unexpected. [Wilbur quickly slams a fruit hat on Lewis' head] As was that.

Wilbur:
If my family finds out I brought you from the past, they'll bury me alive, and dance on my grave! I'm not exaggerating! Well... Yes I am, but not the point! The point is, your hair's a dead giveaway!

Lewis:
[confused] Why would my hair be a dead giveaway?

Wilbur:
That is an excellent question! [runs off]

Lewis:
Wait, where are you going?!?

Wilbur:
Another excellent question!

Spike:
Hey, ring my Doorbell!

Dimitri:
No, no, no, no, ring my doorbell! Ring it! Ring it! Ring it! Look at this door bell. Ring it! Yes!

Spike:
Uh... That was accidental. That's an accidental ring. It doesn't count. It's in the rule book. Look it up.

Dimitri:
Flat head.

Spike:
Short roots.

Dimitri:
Evergreen.

Carl:
What do you mean, don't go to the family? How can we not go to the family in this time of family crisis? By leaving the garage door unlocked, you let the time machine get stolen, and now the entire time stream could be altered! That and someone took my bike.

Wilbur:
Look, I told you. It's gonna all work out. First, we keep Lewis in the garage away from everybody. I show up and give him the pep talk of the century. Then he fixes the time machine.

Carl:
Why is it an acorn?

Wilbur:
I didn't have time to sculpt everything. Okay, now, the time machine is fixed. His confidence in inventing is restored. He goes back to the science fair, fixes his Memory Scanner, thus restoring the space-time continuum.

Carl:
What about taking him back to see his mom?

Wilbur:
I just told him that to buy some time.

Carl:
Oh, yeah, can't see that one blowing up in your face.

Wilbur:
Trust me. I got it under control. Wilbur Robinson never fails. But on the slight chance that I do...

Carl:
"On the slight chance," yeah. You know what? I'll run the numbers.

Wilbur:
What is it?

Carl:
Well, it's not. It doesn't pertain to anything in. You know, there's not necessarily, there's a 99.999999% chance that you won't exist.

Wilbur:
What?

Carl:
And I didn't want to tell you, but I did.

Wilbur:
I won't exist?

Carl:
And where does that leave me? Alone, rusting in a corner.

Wilbur:
What am I worried about? Now, blueprints?

Carl:
If this thing ever blows over, I really gotta get away from you and get some quiet time.

Grandpa Bud:
What's... Oh! Ha, ha! Well, hey, there, little fella! Now, I know what you're thinking, and my clothes are not on backwards. My head is! [Laughing] Oh, I used to tell that one to my science students. They didn't laugh, either. Anywho, what's your name, fruit-head?

Lewis:
Well, Lewis, but...

Bud:
Lewis, huh? Well, say, Lewis, you haven't seen any teeth around here, have you?

Lewis:
Teeth?!?

Bud:
Yeah, my teeth.

Lewis:
[Exclaims]

Bud:
Been digging holes all day. Can't find them anywhere.

Lewis:
All right, look, old man, I need to get back to the garage. Wilbur left me down there, and I wasn't supposed to leave, and these monsters attacked me on the porch and...

Bud:
Monsters? There's no monsters on the porch, you ninny.

Lewis:
Listen to me!

Bud:
Of course, I also didn't think there was a woodchuck living on my arm, and lookie there! Hope he ain't got rabies.

Lewis:
Old man, I need to get to the garage!

Bud:
Well, sure, I'll get you there in a jiffy. I know a shortcut!

Female Announcer:
And five and six and seven and eight.

Bud:
That's Uncle Joe. He works out.

Female Announcer:
Keep those tummies tucked.

Lewis:
This isn't the garage.

Bud:
I know.

Lewis:
I don't think the garage is in here, either.

Uncle Art:
Egads! A very grave matter, indeed.

Bud:
That's Uncle Art.

Lewis:
A real superhero?

Art:
Quad Four, Alpha Omega Galaxy, needs a large cheese-and-sausage thin-crust? I'll be there in 30 minutes, or it's free.

Lewis:
He's a...

Bud:
Pizza delivery guy.

Bud:
Wilbur's mom, Franny. I think you'll like her.

Franny:
Hey, guys!

Frankie:
You ask me over And over and over. Have you seen My peacock-feathered hat?

Lewis:
Frogs?

Franny:
Taught them everything they know.

Bud:
Franny, this is Lewis.

Lewis:
Nice to meet you, ma'am.

Franny:
Perfect timing. We need someone on maracas.

Frankie:
Where is your heart at? Nobody knows that. Even though you've him, her, me and an army searching. I've got a feeling, You will be reeling. When you are bad and the circus comes to town...

Lewis:
Grandpa, I think I found your teeth.

Frankie:
And you see me leaving dressed up as a magician or something like that.

Bud:
Sarsaparilla! My teeth are back!

Frankie:
Ring-a-ding-ding.

Gaston:
All right!

Lewis:
Right. Well, glad I could help with the teeth, but, wow, look at the time.

[Lewis starts to run and bumps into Wilbur]

Wilbur:
Lewis, I told you to stay in the garage!

Lewis:
I did, but I went up the tube, and I ran into your family and I–

Wilbur:
[panicked noise] You met my family?!?

[Doris open the window. Bowler Hat guy giggles and shut window on nose]

Bowler Hat Guy:
Doris, get it off! Get it off. Oh. I got you now. Lewis.

Wilbur:
Five years ago, Dad wakes up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat. Wants to build a time machine. So he starts working! We're talking plans, we're talking scale models, we're talking prototypes!

[shows Lewis a small scrap of metal]

Lewis:
That's a prototype?

Wilbur:
The very first!... Or, what's left of it.

Lewis:
Yikes.

Wilbur:
Yeah. Dark day at the Robinson house. Prototypes two and three, not much better. Number six, 58, 212, 485, 952, and they all end the same way.

[shaking Lewis for emphasis]

Wilbur:
But he doesn't give up! [pause] Dude, I can't take you seriously in that hat.

Wilbur:
He keeps working and working until finally, he gets it! The first working time machine! Then, he keeps working and working until finally, he gets it again! The second working time machine!

Lewis:
Kinda small.

Wilbur:
I'm assuming that's a joke. I'm ignoring you for time reasons. This, my friend, is merely a model, because unfortunately, time machine number two is in the hands of the Bowler Hat Guy!

Bowler Hat Guy:
[Laughing]

Wilbur:
Pretty amazing story, huh?

Lewis:
Yeah.

Wilbur:
Now, are you ready to start working?

Lewis:
I think that's it. I did it!

Wilbur:
I knew you could. Nice work, my friend. [The time machines flies up, but then it's broken again] Well, you know what they say! "Keep moving..."

Lewis:
[angrily interrupting] Don't say it! [Sighs]

Franny:
Boys! Dinner time!

Wilbur:
Not now, Mom!

Franny:
If you aren't up here in five minutes, I'm gonna come down and get you.

Wilbur:
We'd better get up there.

Bowler Hat Guy (Future Goob):
[chuckling] Come on, my dear! Our future awaits! [laughing]

Lewis:
I mean, there's so many things in the world that can be improved. Just think of it. Moving sidewalks, flying cars. The possibilities are endless.

Mr. Harrington:
Flying cars? Yeah, that's a good one.

Lewis:
All it takes is some imagination and a little science, and we can make the world a better place.

Mr. Harrington:
Well, these are all interesting ideas. So, what's your favorite sport?

Lewis:
Well, does inventing count as a sport?

Lewis:
Why are you doing this to me? I never did anything to you!

Bowler Hat Guy:
[amused] You still haven't figured it out!

Lewis:
Figured out what?

Bowler Hat Guy:
Let's see if this rings a bell. Father of the future, inventor extraordinaire, "Keep moving forward"?

Lewis:
That's not me, that's Wilbur's dad! [Bowler Hat Guy stares at him expectantly. Lewis' eyes go wide in realization] Are you saying that… I'm Wilbur's… Dad?

Bowler Hat Guy:
Oh, Give the boy a prize! You grow up to be the founder of this wrenched time. So I plan to destroy your destiny! Easy-peasy, rice and cheesy!

Lewis:
[flabbergasted] Wait. So, if I'm Wilbur's dad...

Bowler Hat Guy:
Keep going...

Lewis:
Uh, if I'm Wilbur's dad...

Bowler Hat Guy:
[irritated] Yes, thank you, we've established that!

Lewis:
But... What does it have to do with you?

Bowler Hat Guy:
Aha! Allow me to shed some light on the subject.

Lewis:
[gasps] My old room!

Bowler Hat Guy:
I think you mean, our old room.

Lewis:
What?

Bowler Hat Guy:
Yes! Yes! It is I! Mike Yagoobian!

Lewis:
Ugh!

Bowler Hat Guy:
I know! I'm disgusting! But one learns to love it!

Lewis:
How did you end up like this?!

Bowler Hat Guy:
Well, it's a long and pitiful story, about a young boy with a dream. a dream of winning a Little League championship. [flashback to a Little League baseball game, Yagoobian is asleep in the outfield; a sleepy Yagoobian fails to catch a ball headed his way] A dream that was ruined in the last inning. We lost by one run because of me.

Baseball player:
Get him!

[changes to Yagoobian in the orphanage]

Michael "Goob" Yagoobian:
If I hadn't fallen asleep, I would have caught the ball! And we would have won! Do you understand?!

Bowler Hat Guy:
For some reason, no one wanted to adopt me.

Student 1:
Hey Goob, what's up? Cool binder.

Student 2:
Hey Goob, want to come over to my house today?

Bowler Hat Guy:
They all hated me. Eventually, they closed down the orphanage and everyone left... except me.

Reporter:
Whiz kid Cornelius Robinson graduates from college at age 14 - This year's Nobel Prize goes to a young Cornelius Robinson - Cornelius Robinson rebuilds Inventco - Robinson reaches out to - Cornelius Robinson - Cornelius Robinson is now - Now here's another amazing...

[30 years later]

Bowler Hat Guy:
It was then that I realized it wasn't my fault. It was yours! If you hadn't kept me up all night working on your stupid project, then I wouldn't have missed the catch. So, I devised a brilliant plan to get revenge.

Bowler Hat Guy:
And now all that's left is to return to Inventco, where I'll pass off your little gizmo as my own.

Lewis:
But you have no idea what that could do to this future!

Bowler Hat Guy:
I don't care. I just want to ruin your life.

Lewis:
Goob! I had no idea!

Bowler Hat Guy:
Shut up! And don't call me "Goob"! How many evil villians do you know that can pull off a name like "Goob"? Bleh!

Lewis:
Look, I'm sorry your life turned out so bad. But don't blame me you messed it up yourself. You just focused on the bad stuff when all you had to do was... let go of the past and keep moving forward...

Bowler Hat Guy:
Hmm, let's see... take responsiblity for my own life or blame you? Dingdingdingdingding! Blame you wins hands down! [laughing]

Wilbur:
I bet you're glad to see me! [Lewis punches him] Ow!

Lewis:
That's for not locking the garage door!

Wilbur:
Ah! [awkwardly] You know about that?!

Lewis:
I know everything.

Wilbur:
You gotta admit, this'll be a great story to tell me someday.