Meet the Spy

Spy:
[the BLU Spy hears from BLU Scout that he killed many spies before] If you managed to kill them, I assure you they were *not* like me... and nothing, *nothing* like the man loose inside this building!

Scout:
[chuckling] What are you? President of his fan club?

Spy:
No, that would be your mother! [the Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and the Scout's mother]

Spy:
[Scout stammers, not sure what to say] Indeed, and now he's here to f**k us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring your mother will be the second worst thing that happens to you today.

Spy:
[while the BLU Spy talks, various scenes of the RED Spy killing other members of the BLU team are shown] This Spy has already breached our defenses... You've seen what he's done to our colleagues! And worst of all, he could be any one of us... He could be in this very room! He could be you! He could be me! He could even be- [the Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Soldier, shotgun in hand, with a confused Heavy and a panicked Scout]

Scout:
Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Heavy:
Oh!

Soldier:
What? It was obvious! He's the Red Spy! Watch, he'll turn red any second now... [the Soldier and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Soldier prodding the Spy's foot with his shotgun] *Any* second now... See? Red! Oh, wait... that's blood.

Administrator:
[alarms go off] Intruder Alert! A RED Spy is in the base!

Soldier:
[the BLU Soldier looks at a video board] A RED Spy is in the base? [runs out of the room and down some stairs] Hut hut hut hut!

Administrator:
Protect the briefcase!

Soldier:
We need to protect the briefcase!

Scout:
[the BLU Scout is trying to get in to the intelligence room, to make sure the intelligence hasn't been stolen, but the door won't open] Yo, a lil' help here?

Soldier:
[coming up to the keypad] All right, all right, I got it. Stand back son. 1, 1, 1, umm... 1!

Scout:
Let's go, let's go...

Heavy:
[Before the Soldier can open the door, the huge BLU Heavy charges at the door, pushing the soldier and scout right through it] INCOMING! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...

Heavy:
[BLU Heavy and BLU Soldier look at the dead BLU Spy they accidently killed while looking for the RED Spy] So, we still got problem...

Soldier:
*Big* problem. [the BLU Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Soldier and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily]

Soldier:
All right, who's ready to go find this Spy?

Spy:
[the Scout takes off his disguise, revealing that he was the RED Spy] Right behind you.

Spy:
[looking at photos of his girlfriend, the BLU Scout's mother, the RED Spy says] Ahh... ma petite chou-fleur.