Mighty Aphrodite

Chorus Leader:
You'd think they'd at least pick up a phone!

Laius:
But is there a growing void in the Weinrib marriage?

Greek Chorus Leader:
Don't go any further. I know what you're thinking, Lenny, and forget it!

Lenny:
I can't forget it; the thought's been put in my head.

Lenny Weinrib:
Achilles only had an Achilles heel, I have an entire Achilles body.

Linda:
The bishop keeps f***ing her in the ass. It's a genuine antique and it keeps perfect time.

Linda:
I feel like I owe you a great f***.

Linda:
You didn't want a blowj*b so the least I could do is get you a tie.

Linda:
Okay, so I had one guy f***ing me from behind and two guys dressed as cops in my mouth and all I could think was, "I like acting. I wanna study."

Kevin:
I've had 16 fights and I won all of them but 12.

Lenny Weinrib:
Adopt, what. I don't want to adopt. Not with my genes. I have award winning genes.

Max:
Who is the boss between you and mommy?

Lenny Weinrib:
Who is the boss? You have to ask that? I'm the boss. Mommy is only the decision maker.

Lenny:
I'm sure that you're a state-of-the-art fellatrix.

Linda:
Do you want to take a shower? Study me up close?

Lenny:
Oh, no I've already bathed.

Kevin:
It makes my stomach sick to my stomach.

Cassandra:
I see disaster. I see catastrophe. Worse, I see lawyers!

Lenny Weinrib:
This guy's gonna put me in 27 separate Mason jars!

Greek Chorus Leader:
Curiosity, that's what kills us. Not muggers or all that bullshit about the ozone layer. It's our own hearts and minds.

Greek Chorus Leader:
The handicapped are always cranky.

Lenny:
You didn't see Schindler's List?

Kevin:
No, no... that was the one with the Jews and the, um... who were the bad guys?

Lenny:
The Nazis. The blond guys were the Nazis.

Lenny:
I'm completely superfluous.

Kevin:
Oh, you don't feel good?

Linda:
You're married, aren't you?

Lenny Weinrib:
How can you tell that?

Linda:
'Cause you got that look.

Lenny Weinrib:
What look is that?

Linda:
That look like it's been a long time since you had a great blowj*b.

Greek Chorus Leader:
It's very serious! Her marriage to Lenny is in crisis!

Greek Chorus Leader:
Great, fellas, it sounds like a fortune cookie!

Zeus:
Um, this is Zeus. I'm not home right now, but you can leave a message and I'll get back to you. Please start speaking at the tone.

Lenny:
He's dicking around in agriculture.

Linda:
What's wrong with his dick?