Monsters vs Aliens: Mutant Pumpkins from Outer Space

B.O.B.:
Say, what do you think I should go as for Halloween? Bubble gum? Motza ball? Beach ball? Snow ball? Melted snowball? Solar system? Fat Elvis? Thank you, thank you very much.

[Insectosaurus roars]

B.O.B.:
You as fat Elvis? Actually, I kinda see it. Try it, see how it goes.

Susan Murphy:
Good news, guys. Turns out that yeti sighting was just a false alarm, so it looks like we get the rest of the night off.

B.O.B.:
Hey, Susan. Have some coffee. It's totally normal. No one in it at all. [as Susan picks up her mug, Link pops out of it, roaring]

The Missing Link:
This could use some milk. [Unimpressed, Susan just pours Link out of the mug] Sheesh, where is your Halloween spirit?

Susan Murphy:
Hey, I've got plenty of Halloween spirit. Just wait and see my zombie cheerleader costume. Now where am I gonna get some really huge pom-poms?

The Missing Link:
Susan, you're a real monster now, and that means you're playing in the big leagues, with the big boys. I've got fifty years of Halloweens scrunched up inside me, just bursting to come out. 'Cause this isn't any night, it's our night, and when the time comes, we's got to terrify.

General W.R. Monger:
A UFO entered our air space over California, and you'll never guess where.

Susan Murphy:
Modesto? Why is it always Modesto?

General W.R. Monger:
I found it a little freaky myself.

The Missing Link:
All right, pumpkin, you're about to get Cool Whipped.

B.O.B.:
Wait. wait. I think I can reason with them. My mother was a tomato. I speak produce.

[Speaks gibberish to pumpkin; pumpkin speaks back]

Dr. Cockroach Ph.D.:
So, what do they say?

B.O.B.:
Horrible things, about my mother, in a salad bar.

Dr. Cockroach Ph.D.:
You messed with the wrong monsters, pumpkin! Nobody steals candy on my watch!

The Missing Link:
And nobody freaks these kids out but me!

B.O.B.:
[He says nothing, the others stare] I'm thinking! Stop pressuring me.

Susan Murphy:
Halloween belongs to us monsters, and this monster is a pumpking-crushing giant. [the pumpkins morph into one giant monster, bigger than Susan] And apparently, you're a giant-crushing pumpkin.

General W.R. Monger:
I love the smell of pumpkin guts in the evening. It smells like victory. Also, a little like pie.

The Missing Link:
Hey, little genius. You're dressed like me.

Link Kid:
Uh, no. I'm dressed as The Missing Link. You're dressed as a fat, old mermaid.

B.O.B. Kid:
Yeah, since when does Link have a beer gut?

Dr. Cockroach Ph.D.:
A swirly pop? For me? And this time, no pimply hooligans will deprive me of my lickable loot!

Dr. Cockroach Ph.D.:
Galileo! Of course! Link, whatever mutated these pumpkins gave them a sweet tooth. It's not the children they're after. It's... the candy.

B.O.B.:
[shouting] No!

Dr. Cockroach Ph.D.:
And just like us, the more candy they eat, the bigger they'll get until the whole world becomes their pumpkin patch.

Susan Murphy:
I hope somebody brought the nutmeg. Halloween belongs to monsters, and this monster's a pumpkin-crushing giant.

[stomps her foot at Wicked Jack. Wicked Jack turns into a giant]

Susan Murphy:
Oh, apparently, you're a giant-crushing pumpkin.

Wicked Jack:
Oh, candy.

B.O.B.:
Well, you'll never get this candy.

[starts gobbling down candy]

B.O.B.:
Come on, guys! I can't do this alone!

[gobbles down more candy]

B.O.B.:
You know what? Never mind. I can.

Susan Murphy:
I can't believe I'm actually fighting a vegetable.

Dr. Cockroach Ph.D.:
Technically, he's a fruit, Susan.

The Missing Link:
[to Wicked Jack] In your face, Pumpkin. Get it? Oh, no. Don't punch yourself.

B.O.B.:
Elvis. I knew you were still alive.

Carl Murphy:
Oh, speaking of awesome, who wants to bob for apples?

B.O.B.:
You got it, Carl. Just stick your face in my body.

General W.R. Monger:
And let's keep this on a need-to-know basis. Meaning nobody needs to know!

Susan Murphy:
What about my parents?

General W.R. Monger:
Nope. Not even your parents. It's Halloween after all, we don't want to go around scaring folks.

Carl Murphy:
Yes, we were starting to think Modesto would have to be invaded by aliens again to see our daughter.

Dr. Cockroach Ph.D.:
Quite simple Bob, you ring the doorbell then repeat the following "Trick or Treat."

B.O.B.:
Huh?

Dr. Cockroach Ph.D.:
They offer you candy, they are most likely human. They offer to probe you, they are most likely not.

Dr. Cockroach Ph.D.:
If I didn't have a cockroach head myself... heh... I'd be freaking out right now.

B.O.B.:
Well you'll never get this candy! [Goes into the Murphy's yard and starts eating candy] Come on guys, I can't do this alone. [Eats more candy] You know what? Never mind! I CAN!

Dr. Cockroach Ph.D.:
Yes, we're just here for the party, Mr. and Mrs. Murphy... if that is indeed who you are! [Scans them with a laser device] They're clear.

[first lines]

Farmer Jeb:
Darn teenagers. You'd better not be in my fields making out! I warn ya!

Carl Murphy:
[to Susan] Oh, we went all out this year, hon. I included all your old favorites. Death by Chocolate Fountain, The Wicked Witch's Poison Apple Tree and Children of the Candy Cornfield!

B.O.B.:
Yeah, not bad, but, you know, call me when it's real candy. You know what I'm saying?

The Missing Link:
B.O.B., it is real candy.

Dr. Cockroach Ph.D.:
Maybe so, my finny friend, but to some of us, All Hallows Eve is more trick than treat. I was a young lad then, my head filled with thoughts of particles physics and candy. I was out on my first Halloween, when suddenly... [Young Cockroach is attacked by older kids, who dump him in the trash and take his candy] My swirly pop! [the swirly pop falls on the ground and cracks] From that day on, Halloween was dead to me, forever.

The Missing Link:
Wow. That story made me want to throw you in the trash.

Dr. Cockroach Ph.D.:
What do you think the situation is, General? Invasion? Abductions? Probes?

General W.R. Monger:
Unknown, and I hate me some unknown.

B.O.B.:
Well, Stemhead, you're not getting one more piece of candy. And you're especially not getting what's on the Murphy house. It's right there, down the road.