Munster, Go Home!

Herman:
"Car 54, Where Are You?" - when finally discovering the secret of Munster Hall.

Herman:
I want to go to the party and put on funny hats and be obnoxious and talk too loud and get stoned- uphold the American image abroad.

Marilyn Munster:
Uncle Cavanaugh? I didn't know there were any English Munsters.

Grandpa Munster:
Marilyn dear, no matter where you go in the world, you can always dig up one of our relatives.

Herman:
Goodbye Spot, don't eat anybody till we get back!

Lily Munster:
Marilyn, if you should happen to meet any strange men on board, be sure and speak to them.

Herman:
That's right, dear. Don't let your... unatractiveness make you self conscious.

Eddie Munster:
Mom, how come pop inherited an English title? I thought he was made in Germany.

Lily Munster:
Well you see, Eddie, at an early age, your father left doctor Frankenstein's lab in Germany...

Herman:
[Herman puts a monocle over his eye and looks in the mirror, which promptly shatters] That's right, son.

Lily Munster:
...and then he arrived in England and he was adopted by a family called Munster, who gave him their name.

Eddie Munster:
[to Marylin] Since you got to be an old lady of nineteen, you don't wanna have any fun at all!

Marilyn Munster:
[trying to get out of a Ferrari GT Spider without revealing too much leg] A girl has trouble getting out of these things...

Roger:
Yes, I think the Italians designed them that way.

Shipmate:
Did ya hear that?

Shipmate:
I saw a movie once where a dog howled like that and the next thing you know, he turned back into Lon Chaney, Jr.

Roger:
I say, I say, you must tell me something. Did you just hideous giant with a ghastly green face?

Herbert:
I see them all the time, friend, all the time.

Lady Effigie Munster:
Really children. Last night couldn't have been more badly bungled if I had given it to parliament to do.

Cruikshank:
Can I get you a bite of breakfast, governor?

Herman:
Oh, thank you very much, Cruikshank, eh, but I am not a governor. I never even made Alderman. [chuckles] I'm a simple man, a man of the people. You may call me: Lord.

Grace:
Mumsy, Freddy is bashing his head against the wall and if he opens a vein it will ruin the drapes.

Grandpa Munster:
Herman, I must ask Freddie where he gets his slime. It looks imported.

Freddie Munster:
Mumsy, let me do him in, pretty please?

Lady Effigie Munster:
He shall be done in, but according to the Griffin's prearranged plan.

Millie:
What's the matter with you two blokes? I've seen zombies at the flickers looking 'appier than you two.

Grandpa Munster:
Listen, buster, this is modern day England, you can't get away with knocking off Herman!

Freddie Munster:
But that's what makes the whole thing so delightful, we can!

Lily Munster:
Oh! Freddie Munster, you're not a very nice person!

Freddie Munster:
I am a thorough rotter. Like all the Musters before me, and proud of it!

Eddie Munster:
I hope those guys didn't bring any more to-mah-tos

Lily Munster:
[Lily and Grandpa are 'borrowing' a couple of horses] Grandpa, what if we get caught?

Grandpa Munster:
Listen, it won't be the first time I was hanged as a horse thief.

Freddie Munster:
By the way, where's my darling mumsy?

Grace:
I don't know. I don't understand her missing this, she so enjoys a good killing.

Freddie Munster:
[still wondering about the identity of 'The Griffin'] By jove, I've got it! It's Cruikshank's! You know, whenever the Americans make a picture about the British, it's always the butler!

Freddie Munster:
Let's bash him on the head with something jagged.

Freddie Munster:
Let's bash him on the cranium with something jagged.