My Fair Lady

Professor Henry Higgins:
She's so deliciously low. So horribly dirty.

Professor Henry Higgins:
Eliza, you are to stay here for the next six months learning to speak beautifully, like a lady in a florist's shop. At the end of six months you will be taken to an embassy ball in a carriage, beautifully dressed. If the king finds out you are not a lady, you will be taken to the Tower of London, where your head will be cut off as a warning to other presumptuous flower girls! If you are not found out, you shall be given a present of... uh... seven and six to start life with in a lady's shop. If you refuse this offer, you will be the most ungrateful, wicked girl, and the angels will weep for you.

Freddy Eynsford-Hill:
It's the new small talk. You do it so awfully well.

Professor Henry Higgins:
Why can't a woman be more like a man?

Eliza Doolittle:
I ain't done nothin' wrong by speaking to the gentleman. I've a right to sell flowers if I keep off the kerb. I'm a respectable girl: so help me, I never spoke to him 'cept so far as to buy a flower off me.

Eliza Doolittle:
I ain't dirty! I washed my face and hands before I come, I did.

Professor Henry Higgins:
She's an owl, sickened by a few days of *my* sunshine.

Colonel Hugh Pickering:
Have you NO morals, man?

Alfred P. Doolittle:
Nah. Can't afford none. Neither could you, if you were as poor as me.

Professor Henry Higgins:
I know your head aches; I know you're tired; I know your nerves are as raw as meat in a butcher's window. But think what you're trying to accomplish. Think what you're dealing with. The majesty and grandeur of the English language, it's the greatest possession we have. The noblest thoughts that ever flowed through the hearts of men are contained in its extraordinary, imaginative, and musical mixtures of sounds. And that's what you've set yourself out to conquer Eliza. And conquer it you will.

Professor Henry Higgins:
You won my bet? Why you presumptuous little insect, *I* won it.

Professor Henry Higgins:
Now, try it again.

Eliza Doolittle:
The rine in spine sties minely in the pline.

Professor Henry Higgins:
The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain.

Eliza Doolittle:
Didn't I sy that?

Professor Henry Higgins:
No, Eliza, you didn't "sy" that, you didn't even "say" that, now every night before you get into bed, where you used to say your prayers, I want you to say "The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain" fifty times. You'll learn to get much further with the Lord if you learn not to offend His ears.

Eliza Doolittle:
I sold flowers; I didn't sell myself. Now you've made a lady of me, I'm not fit to sell anything else.

Colonel Hugh Pickering:
Well, I'm dashed!

Mrs. Higgins:
Henry! What a disagreeable surprise.

Colonel Hugh Pickering:
Are you a man of good character where women are concerned?

Professor Henry Higgins:
Have you ever met a man of good character where women are concerned?

Colonel Hugh Pickering:
Higgins, at a time like this, it's positively indecent that you don't need a glass of port.

Eliza Doolittle:
Come on, Dover, move yer bloomin' arse!

Alfred P. Doolittle:
The old bloke died and left me four thousand pounds a year in his blommin' will. Who asked him to make a gentleman out of me? I was happy. I was free. I touched pretty nigh everyone for money when I wanted it, same as I touched him. Now, I'm tied neck and heels, and everybody touches me. A year ago, I hadn't a relation in the world except one or two who wouldn't speak to me. Now, I've fifty, and not a decent week's wages amongst the lot of 'em. Oh, I have to live for others now, not for myself. Middle-class morality.

Eliza Doolittle:
The difference between a lady and a flower girl is not how she behaves, but how she is treated.

Mrs. Higgins:
However did you learn good manners with my son around?

Eliza Doolittle:
It was very difficult. I should never have known how ladies and gentlemen really behaved, if it hadn't been for Colnel Pickering. He always showed what he thought and felt about me as if I were something better than a common flower girl. You see, Mrs. Higgins, apart from the things one can pick up, the difference between a lady and a flower girl is not how she behaves, but how she is treated. I shall always be a common flower girl to Professor Higgins, because he always treats me like a common flower girl, and always will. But I know that I shall always be a lady to Colonel Pickering, because he always treats me like a lady, and always will.

Professor Henry Higgins:
The question is not whether I've treated you rudely but whether you've ever heard me treat anyone else better.

Professor Henry Higgins:
May I ask, have you complained of your treatment here?

Eliza Doolittle:
No.

Professor Henry Higgins:
Has anyone behaved badly? Colonel Pickering, Mrs. Pearce?

Eliza Doolittle:
No.

Professor Henry Higgins:
You certainly don't pretend that I have treated you badly?

Eliza Doolittle:
No.

Professor Henry Higgins:
You impudent hussy!

Landlady:
...and what things does she want? Her bird cage and her Chinese fan. But she says, never mind about sending any clothes.

Alfred P. Doolittle:
I always knew she had a career in front of 'er.

Eliza Doolittle:
*Here* are your slippers! And

Eliza Doolittle:
*there* are your slippers! And may you

Eliza Doolittle:
never have a day's luck with them!

Eliza Doolittle:
There can't be any feeling between the likes of me and the likes of you.

Professor Henry Higgins:
The French don't care what they do actually, as long as they pronounce it properly.

Professor Henry Higgins:
I've learned a great deal from your idiotic notions, I admit it humbly and gratefully.

Professor Henry Higgins:
By George, Eliza, the streets will be strewn with the bodies of men shooting themselves for your sake before I'm done with you.

Mrs. Higgins:
Where's the girl now?

Professor Henry Higgins:
She's being pinned. Some of the clothes we bought her didn't quite fit. I told Pickering we should have taken her with us.

Professor Henry Higgins:
There even are places where English completely disappears; in America they haven't used it for years.

Eliza Doolittle:
You ought a be stuffed with nails, you ought!

Colonel Pickering:
“Does it occur to you, Higgins, that the girl has some feelings?”

Henry Higgins:
“Oh, no, I don’t think so. Not any feeling that we need to bother about.”

"Why Henry, you're not even dressed properly!"

"Oh, I changed my shirt."

Higgins's mother and Higgins at the horse races.

Songs:
I could have danced all night, I could have danced all night, and still have begged for more. I could have spread my wings and done a thousand things I've never done before.

Songs:
Women are irrational, that's all there is to that! Their heads are full of cotton, hay, and rags! They're nothing but exasperating, irritating, vacillating, calculating, agitating, maddening and infuriating hags!

Songs:
Damn, damn, damn, DAMN! ... I've grown accustomed to her face!

Songs:
Her smiles, her frowns, her ups, her downs are second nature to me now, like breathing out and breathing in.

Songs:
Poor Eliza! How simply frightful! How humiliating! How delightful!

Songs:
I have often walked down this street before; But the pavement always stayed beneath my feet before. All at once am I Several stories high, Knowing I'm on the street where you live.

Songs:
Art and music will thrive without you. Somehow Keats will survive without you. And there still will be rain on that plain down in Spain, even that will remain without you. I can do without you!

Songs:
All I want is a room somewhere, Far away from the cold night air. With one enormous chair, Aow, wouldn't it be loverly?

Eliza Doolittle:
Them 'as pinched it, done her in! (1:29:17)

Eliza Doolittle:
Them she lived with would have done her in for a hatpin let alone a hat.

Eliza Doolittle:
Not her, gin was mother's milk to her.

Eliza Doolittle:
Here, what are you sniggering at? (1:30:08)

Eliza Doolittle:
You dear friend who talks so well, you can go to Hertford, Hereford and Hampshire!

Eliza Doolittle:
All I want is 'Enry 'Iggins' 'ead.

Professor Henry Higgins:
I find the moment that a woman makes friends with me, she becomes jealous, exacting, suspicious and a damned nuisance. And I find the moment that I make friends with a woman, I become selfish and tyrannical. So here I am – a confirmed old bachelor, and likely to remain so.

Professor Henry Higgins:
It's about filling up the deepest cut that separates class from class and soul from soul.

Professor Henry Higgins:
Damn Mrs Pearce, damn the coffee, and damn you! And damn my own folly for having lavished my hard-earned knowledge, and the treasure of my regard? and intimacy, on a heartless guttersnipe!

Professor Henry Higgins:
If the Higgins oxygen burns up her little lungs, let her seek some stuffiness that suits her! She's an owl sickened by a few days of my sunshine! Very well, let her go - I can do without her. I can do without anyone! I have my own soul, my own spark of divine fire!

Professor Henry Higgins:
Eliza? Where the devil are my slippers?

Higgins's mother:
Why Henry, you're not even dressed properly!

Prof. Higgins:
Oh, I changed my shirt.