My Mom's New Boyfriend

Tommy Lucero:
Next time you eat garlic, please do it after the robbery, thank you very much.

Tommy Lucero:
I'll be out of any jail you put me in by 3 o'clock Friday.

Inspector Laborde:
And why is that?

Tommy Lucero:
Oh, because I have to see someone at 4 o'clock on Friday.

Henry Durand:
You - you have a boyfriend?

Martha Durand:
A boyfriend? No... hell no. I'm not gonna make the same mistake I made with your father.

Henry Durand:
Okay, good.

Martha Durand:
I have several boyfriends.

Emily Lott:
Party hearty, Marty.

Martha Durand:
Anyway, it just took me a long time to realize that there was something missing inside.

Henry Durand:
Missing from inside the house?

Martha Durand:
No, Henry, missing inside here, spiritually.

Henry Durand:
Oh.

Martha Durand:
So started my quest for enlightenment, inner peace, inner joy, the person who'd gotten buried alive in a sea of nicotine and packaged cakes.

Martha Durand:
I went to India.

Henry Durand:
You went to India?

Martha Durand:
Yeah.

Henry Durand:
You used to never leave the house.

Henry Durand:
And the reason why we're here is...?

Martha Durand:
To have fun, because it's all over too freakin' fast.

Eddie:
You were doing some sort of secret ops sort of stuff, right?

Henry Durand:
Yeah.

Eddie:
Would you tell me about it?

Henry Durand:
If I did, it wouldn't be a secret.

Emily Lott:
Do you ever think of your mom when we're having sex?

Henry Durand:
Oh, God! Oh!

Emily Lott:
It's just a question.

Henry Durand:
Well, let me answer your question. No... no, I haven't. Thank God, I haven't. But you wanna know what? Now, I'm not sure how I'm gonna be able to not think about her. Thank you very much. Good night.

Tommy Lucero:
Your eyes... your eyes don't lie, do they?

Martha Durand:
Life's too short for lies.

Tommy Lucero:
What do you see when you see me?

Martha Durand:
Oh, well, when I see you, I see nothing but trouble.

Tommy Lucero:
Yeah, I'm so bad that I should be forbidden.

Martha Durand:
You are not being straight with me!

Tommy Lucero:
I will be.

Martha Durand:
Oh! [waves arms & stomps feet] God damn it! I just... damn it! [stomps feet again] Oh!

Tommy Lucero:
Wow...

Tommy Lucero:
So... Am I gonna see you again?

Martha Durand:
That all depends on you.

Tommy Lucero:
Oh, Marty, what's going on?

Martha Durand:
Nothing. I'll see myself in.

Tommy Lucero:
Oh, come on. Come on! Marty, what's wrong with you? Come on!

Martha Durand:
I don't know who you think you are,coming into people's lives and making them fall in love with you like it's some kind of big, sick game.

Tommy Lucero:
What are you talking about?

Martha Durand:
Oh, you know exactly what I am talking about.