My Soul to Take

Penelope:
[about the Reaper] Pray for our souls, Bug. He's coming.

Bug:
Jesus?

The Ripper:
Fear Ye, The Ripper!

Alex:
No, it's not okay, what I did. It's not okay for everybody to be killing each other all the time.

Abel:
[in The Ripper's voice] Abel's not here, anymore.

Abel:
[as The Ripper, points a gun at a paramedic] This is for you, you c*nt!

Paterson:
[Patterson shoots Abel] That's for shut the f*** up.

Paterson:
What did your grandmother say?

Jeanne-Baptiste:
What?

Paterson:
Did she tell you not to worry if somebody you thought was dead just might come back alive? If he was evil enough?

Fang:
Wake up and smell the Starbucks.

Penelope:
If things get too hot, just turn on the prayer conditioning.

Brandon:
[on cell phone] Brittany, look, I know you're there. I can hear you walking. I understand that you don't want to talk. I probably disgust you. It's okay. I disgust myself sometimes. I know I'm a pig. I can't help it. No, pigs are nicer. Actually, I'm just what you said. I'm a f***ing crotch dog. I'm sorry.

The Ripper:
[the Ripper's voice appears on the other line] It's too late to be sorry.

Brandon:
Who is this?

The Ripper:
Someone from your past. You wouldn't remember.

Brandon:
Put Brittany on, please.

The Ripper:
She's not here.

Brandon:
Well, where is she?

The Ripper:
Where you're going to go.

Brandon:
I'm gonna go to the church.

The Ripper:
No, you're not.

Brandon:
What do you mean, "No, I'm not?"

The Ripper:
Think hotter.

Brandon:
Miami?

The Ripper:
Try hell! [the Ripper appears behind him]

The Ripper:
[the Ripper stabs Brandon in the stomach] Anybody you want to say goodbye to?

Brandon:
My unborn child.

The Ripper:
F*** your f***ing unborn child. Now where'd I leave your b*tch?

Alex:
[Bug stabs him, killing the Ripper personality] I thought that guy would never leave.

Bug:
Alex?

Alex:
Where's the biggest knife in the kitchen?

Bug:
Where it needs to be. [pulls the knife out]

Alex:
Condor?

Bug:
Crow.

Alex:
It's all right, Bug. Feels great.

Bug:
Feels f***ing great.

Alex:
F***ing great. [dies]

Bug:
Fly now. I know you're up there, and I know we're down here.

Bug:
I am the condor. The Keeper of the Souls. I eat death for breakfast. I live in a house of blood and I accept that. That's all a man can do. I was ready to be arrested that night. I wasn't ready for what happened instead. Leah had told them everything and I was celebrated as a hero. Alex Dunkelman killed his stepfather, a cop, a mother, and five of the Riverton Seven. And I alone had stopped him from killing more. I didn't feel like a hero at all. But if it makes Riverton feel safe at night, I'll fake that I'm their hero. And I'll fake it good. Alex wouldn't have it any other way.

Bug:
Just because you were out there doesn't mean you were spying.

Alex:
I was spying.

Alex:
The fish stinks from the head.

Bug:
I'm scared.

Alex:
We're sixteen, Bug. Like it or not, we're men now.

Bug:
I don't feel like a man!

Alex:
No one does, that's why you gotta fake it.

Bug:
Fake being a man to be a man?

Alex:
That's the way it works. You can't run, you have to face your fear like a man.

Bug:
Even though I'm not a man?

Alex:
Because you're not a man. Listen, the better you fake it, the better man you are.

Bug:
Just fake it.

Alex:
Fake it good. Like if you're scared, act like you don't give a sh*t, or if somebody hurts you, say, "Thank you very much, that felt wonderful."

Bug:
[practicing] Thanks, Brandon, that-I can't raise my arm, feels good.

Alex:
Yeah, there you go.

Bug:
Is that all you got, Brandon? I mean... I feel downright... cheated!

Alex:
I'm amazed that you're getting this so quick, it's tricky stuff.

Bug:
I was faking what I did.

Alex:
You were?

Bug:
[nods] Completely.

Alex:
Yeah, but you were faking it good.

Bug:
I was?

Alex:
Abso-f***in'-lutely. You now have permission to shave.

Penelope:
What men will do to you in prison is nothing compared to what demons will do to you in hell, on beds of fire, for all eternity.

Brandon:
I'm gonna get you for this, Penelope.

Alex:
[Brandon has punched him] Thanks, Brandon. That felt good.

Brandon:
Asswipe.

Alex:
Not as good as your mother felt last night, though.

Fang:
Happy birthday, insect.

Alex:
[regarding a large bag] What the f*** is that?

Bug:
Sock puppet.

Alex:
On steroids?

Brittany:
How 'bout I have my dog bite it off and bury it in my backyard?

Brandon:
How big is your backyard?

Bug:
That puppet was scary.

Bug:
Now we're all gonna die and it's my fault.

Brandon:
Bug takes a little longer 'cause he's a little slower.

Fang:
Brandon would enjoy Hell.

Alex:
They will come for you with torches.

Alex:
[after being pressured by Alex to swear, Bug says "f***" nearly every line] Enough with the f***s!

Bug:
You say f***.

Alex:
Say, "Thanks, Fang, that felt great."

Bug:
I'd be lying.

Alex:
That's the point.

Bug:
Thanks, Fang, that felt great.

Alex:
That felt *f***ing* great!

Bug:
That's a bad word.

Alex:
You bet. Makes things good.

Bug:
Everything's backwards with you.

Bug:
Do you think I'm a monkey, Alex?

Alex:
Have you killed people, Bug?

Bug:
Not that I can remember.

Alex:
Well I can't remember buying you bananas, either.

May:
Just because Leah says mean things doesn't make them so.

Bug:
What if they are so?

Bug:
I know you're not my mother.

May:
Bug, I'm so sorry, I never meant...

Bug:
I hope you know something, too.

May:
What?

Bug:
That you are my mom. That one you're stuck with, like it or not.

Bug:
I wished I could take back what I did today, and make you proud of me.

Penelope:
Please remember, You put the apple and the snake in one small garden.

Alex:
[to Bug] If you're not innocent any more, that's okay.

Alex:
You're a condor. You eat death for breakfast. Remember that.

Penelope:
We're all doomed, Bug. It's the human condition.