Môsô dairinin

Lil' Slugger:
I'm home.

Keiichi Ikari:
The whole world is about to end, and all because of a goddamned puppy!

[first lines]

[on an Internet blog]

Zebra:
Did you wait long?

Fuyubachi:
Waiting can be fun... BTW, where's Kamome?

Zebra:
Said she's going to bed for the big day tomorrow... [Two strangers, both wearing a distinctive Maromi bag, come across and recognize each other]

[waiting for Kamome]

Fuyubachi:
This is strange. She didn't strike me on the Net as the kind of girl who keeps people waiting. Well, it's perfectly understandable if she changed her mind, I suppose...

[Zebra points at a little girl who's carrying a bag just like theirs]

Fuyubachi:
[a small laugh] Couldn't be! I mean, would you look at her, she's still just a child! I thought she'd be more like, how should I say, you know, er... how old did she say she was again?

[Kamome appears in person for the first time]

Kamome:
Aha! Zebra and Fuyubachi!

Fuyubachi:
[shocked] She's a child!

[Kamome tracks down Fuyubachi and Zebra]

Kamome:
From now on, don't leave me behind! [throws her bag at Fuyubachi]

[someone jumps in front of a train]

Kamome:
[shocked] Wow... so that's how you look when you get hit by a train...

Fuyubachi:
[relaxing at a spa] This is heaven! So fine! You know, this really is heaven! Most delightful...

[sits upright]

Fuyubachi:
No! It can't be! We're acting as if...!

[about being dead]

Kamome, Zebra, Fuyubachi:
It would be really nice...!

Zebra:
I heard that Lil' Slugger can appear anywhere, can attack at any time...

Fuyubachi:
That's just a rumour. All sorts of stories get blown all out of proportion, you know? I mean, first of all, if it's true he comes for people who are emotionally cornered, then he should have come for us a long time ago...

Fuyubachi:
This is it, my last pill...

Fuyubachi:
Okay... maybe we should get going.

Kamome:
What? Where?

Fuyubachi:
[smiles] Far away!

Kamome:
[smiles too] Are we riding the train again?

Fuyubachi:
The bullet train, okay?

Kamome:
Really? YAY!

Zebra:
Poor Kamome... I feel bad leaving her behind...

Fuyubachi:
Nonsense! A child that age is still far far too young to die! We'll come back as ghosts and apologize to her...

[a carefully-prepared carbon monoxide-laden house is demolished]

Fuyubachi:
What horrible timing...

Kamome:
It's hard to die, isn't it?

Fuyubachi:
These are hard times. The Grim Reaper's so busy he doesn't even have time to come for us!

[about drowning]

Kamome:
What? I don't want to get my clothes wet!

Kamome:
I wish I could have gone on a train ride. I'd get on the train, and go somewhere far away from here.

Fuyubachi:
Oh... let's go for a train ride!

Zebra:
That's right! Let's really go!

Kamome:
Oh... yes, perfect! Let's go, let's go!

[Fuyubachi and Zebra plunge down a gorge]

Kamome:
[looking down] Fuyubachi! Zebra!

[the two men land at the bottom, relatively unscathed]

Fuyubachi:
Ohh... I thought I was going to die...

[They hear Kamome calling for them; Zebra opens his mouth but Fuyubachi claps it shut]

Fuyubachi:
It's better we do it this way. It's for her own good.

Zebra:
But if we leave her and and anything happens to her because we left her in the mountains, she'll almost certainly die!

[Both men climb up the gorge and find Kamome about to jump in after them]

Kamome:
[close to tears] Don't leave me behind! I don't want to be alone!

[at dinner]

Kamome, Fuyubachi, Zebra:
Bottoms up!

[a bat cracks through a paper screen]

Fuyubachi:
What's this thing?

Zebra:
Looks like a bat...

Fuyubachi:
I guess you're right... a BAT?

[inhaling carbon monoxide]

Fuyubachi:
Hmmm, not so bad...

[Fuyubachi shuts his phone off when he sees it's Kamome ringing]

Fuyubachi:
I am sorry.

Fuyubachi, Zebra, Kamome:
IT'S HIM! The great Lil' Slugger!

Kamome:
Excuse me, are you the real...? [Fuyubachi claps her mouth shut]

Zebra:
Well, we should try again some other time, when there's less going on...

Kamome:
No! No way! Come on! I'm goung to die right here and now! I want to die with you guys!

Fuyubachi:
Now, now, there's no need to worry. I was worried, so I went ahead and came up with a contingency plan... [Kamome and Zebra cheer]

Fuyubachi:
They said on the news that our friend Fox was killed by Lil' Slugger.

Zebra:
Isn't Lil' Slugger that serial street attacker they arrested? The one who killed himself in jail?

Fuyubachi:
No, no. Apparently, the person they arrested was an imposter, who turned out to really be Fox.

Kamome:
You mean, he was killed inside the police station? By Lil' Slugger?

Fuyubachi:
[teasing] I don't know. They say the only way the chair could have got inside is through the wall!

[Kamome freaks out]

Zebra, Kamome:
[meeting Lil Slugger] IT'S SO NICE TO FINALLY MEET YOU! [Lil' Slugger looks at them, and bolts]

[Fuyubachi produces a cigarette]

Kamome:
[makes a face] I'll pass. [Fuyubachi, and then Zebra and Kamome, start laughing]

Kamome:
Come back, Lil' Slugger... but, you know, we were close. We were really close!

Zebra:
That's right! And if we see him again, maybe we'll succed this time!

[last lines]

[on an Internet blog]

Fuyubachi:
Of course.

Zebra:
Yeah.

Kamome:
The three of us together, right?

Fuyubachi:
The season should be fall.