Nancy Drew and the Hidden Staircase

Ted Nickerson:
[trying to impress the maid with a joke] A duck is a chicken with snowshoes.

Nancy Drew:
And a halfwit is a person who spends half their time trying to be witty.

Captain Tweedy:
Smitty, go down to the Turnbull house and put yourself on guard. Find anybody around there, throw 'em out.

Smitty, a Policeman:
Single-handed?

Captain Tweedy:
Oh, use both hands, I don't care.

Carson Drew:
Here's a check for the butcher. Tell him he's been cutting the meat so thin lately it only has one side.

Effie Schneider, the Housekeeper:
Yes sir, shall I tell him which side?

Ted Nickerson:
Gosh! I mean GOSH!

Nancy Drew:
Dad! Ted's in jail again! Come on!

Ted Nickerson:
[frustratedly] Some day I'm gonna get psychoanalyzed and find out why I'm such a dope.

Ted Nickerson:
[to Nancy] I can only hope you can keep up with me when I start retreatin'.

Smitty, a Policeman:
Watch your step, lady.

Ted Nickerson:
[mumbling while in dress] "Lady".