Nebraska

Woody Grant:
[to David] Have a drink with your old man. Be somebody!

Kate Grant:
[upon learning Woody has "won" a million dollars] I never knew the son of a b*tch even wanted to be a millionaire! He should have thought about that years ago and worked for it!

Kate Grant:
I ain't fiddlin' with no cow titties. I'm a city girl!

Kate Grant:
[lifts her dress and flashes a tombstone] You see this? You could have had all this to yourself, and look what you missed out on.

Ross Grant:
[in a physical altercation with his cousin] Hey, watch the face, okay? I'm on TV.

Kate Grant:
That's Ed Pegram singing. [to Woody] Did you know that he was always trying to get in my bloomers?

David Grant:
Jesus Mom! Was the whole town trying to seduce you?

Kate Grant:
These boys grow up staring at the rear ends of cows and pigs, it's only natural that a real woman will get them chafing their pants.

Kate Grant:
[looking at graves] There's Woody's little sister, Rose. She was only nineteen when she was killed in a car wreck near Wausa. What a whore!

David Grant:
Mom!

Kate Grant:
Nah, I liked Rose, but my God, she was a slut.

David Grant:
C'mon...

Kate Grant:
I'm just telling you the truth!

David Grant:
Where's your family?

Kate Grant:
Oh, they're over in the Catholic cemetery. Catholics wouldn't be caught dead around all these damn Lutherans. [approaches another tombstone] Here's Delmer, Woody's cousin, he was a drunk. One time we were wrestling and he felt me up. Grabbed a handful of boob and Woody was right there and didn't have a clue, did ya Woody?

Receptionist:
[about Woody] Does he have Alzheimer's?

David Grant:
No, he just believes what people tell him.

Receptionist:
That's too bad.

Aunt Betty:
Now Kate, we only want what's fair and what's fair is if Woody lends us back some money.

Kate Grant:
You can all go f*** yourselves!

Aunt Flo:
Martha, where's Bart and Cole?

Aunt Martha:
Oh, they're off doing some volunteer work picking up trash off the streets.

Kate Grant:
It's community service; for Bart's rape.

Aunt Martha:
Sexual assault!

Kate Grant:
What's the difference?

Aunt Martha:
A huge difference... it's... well... the boys can explain it to you better than I can...

Kate Grant:
Why do you want meatloaf if it isn't even on the dinner menu?

Woody Grant:
'Cause I like it.

Waitress:
What can I get you?

Woody Grant:
Do you have any meatloaf?

Waitress:
No, that's only part of our lunch specials.

Kate Grant:
He'll have the chicken.

Waitress:
Fried or grilled?

Woody Grant:
Fried.

Kate Grant:
He'll have it grilled. I think I'd like the roast beef, but I'm not entirely sure. What do you recommend?

Waitress:
Everything's all good ma'am, but I especially like the tilapia.

Kate Grant:
Oh, then I'll have the roast beef.

David Grant:
I'll have the tilapia.

Receptionist:
[after telling Woody he hasn't won the money] I can give you a free gift. Would you like a hat or a seat cushion?

David Grant:
Dad? Do you want a hat or a seat cushion?

Woody Grant:
I'll take a hat.