NHL 2002

Colour Analyst:
He stops pucks like it's his job!

Play-by-Play Announcer:
Isn't it?

Colour Analyst:
Good point!

Play-by-Play Announcer:
Bertuzzi gets called for Interference. They'll be short one player.

Colour Analyst:
Why go after that guy? He might aswell have hauled down a fan!

Colour Analyst:
That's one way to open up the scoring!

Play-by-Play Announcer:
You would've preferred something else?

Colour Analyst:
No, that one was just fine.

Play-by-Play Announcer:
HE SCORES! Wow, Don, that was really incredible!

Colour Analyst:
Well, then don't eat it.

Play-by-Play Announcer:
I said incredible!

Colour Analyst:
Shouldn't the goalie maybe have had that one?

Play-by-Play Announcer:
Pretty much.

Colour Analyst:
I see.

Play-by-Play Announcer:
I know you would.

Colour Analyst:
Hmm.

Play-by-Play Announcer:
Vancouver is laying all kinds of hardship on them now.

Colour Analyst:
I haven't seen this kind of schelackin' since my pankake incident!

Play-by-Play Announcer:
Vancouver is dominating this game!

Colour Analyst:
Guess which team is the good one?

Play-by-Play Announcer:
The Oilers are making a change in the net, Don!

Colour Analyst:
Cool! The new guy has a better mask!

Play-by-Play Announcer:
Holden scores!

Colour Analyst:
He put it upstairs, where El Presidente keeps the election results! No need for anyone else to see them, I trust them!

Play-by-Play Announcer:
Me too.

Colour Analyst:
I wouldn't say that was a bad goal, Jim. More like "atrocious".

Colour Analyst:
He got a little too excited there, although I'm sure he meant well.

Colour Analyst:
I'm no doctor, but I think he may have an overactive hit! [crowd boos] Alright, alright... I'm sorry!

Play-by-Play Announcer:
The Canucks have truly embarrassed them now, Don!

Colour Analyst:
This game is more one-sided than my conversations!

Play-by-Play Announcer:
I can't believe you admitted to that...

Colour Analyst:
Sorry? I wasn't paying attention.

Play-by-Play Announcer:
Bertuzzi scores!

Colour Analyst:
I can't wait to see that one on replay!

Play-by-Play Announcer:
Are replays even on right now?

Colour Analyst:
I don't know, let's wait and see.

Play-by-Play Announcer:
Holden scores!

Colour Analyst:
Evidently, the goalie decided to sleep in today.

Play-by-Play Announcer:
Here we go, folks! It's scrap-time!

Colour Analyst:
Oh well, at least they're not swearing or spitting.

Play-by-Play Announcer:
It looks like these two guys will be taking a mandatory rest for fighting!

Play-by-Play Announcer:
Holden shoulders Horcoff.

Colour Analyst:
I thought he was going in for the high-five Jim, but in retro-spect I guess that wouldn't really have made a lot of sense!

Play-by-Play Announcer:
Carter is whipped up about something, and now these two are going to go!

Colour Analyst:
They're going back and forth...

Play-by-Play Announcer:
...and forth and back...

Colour Analyst:
...and back again!

Play-by-Play Announcer:
Five minute Fighting majors have been handed out!

Colour Analyst:
There's a valuable lesson to be learned here, Jim!

Play-by-Play Announcer:
Don't get in fights?

Colour Analyst:
No, don't make fun of his Backstreet Boys lunchbox!

Play-by-Play Announcer:
Horcoff gets checked.

Colour Analyst:
Oh, they felt that hit in the Rafters! Which bakes the question, "Why are there people in the Rafters?"

Colour Analyst:
Well, they say good things come in threes!

Play-by-Play Announcer:
I thought it was celebrity deaths that always came in threes.

Colour Analyst:
And while we're at it, let's not forget The Stooges!

Play-by-Play Announcer:
Atlanta has taken the lead!

Colour Analyst:
Their fans are going nuts! I just saw a guy do a back-flip in the crowd! Or was that just a rendering bug?

Colour Analyst:
That shot was powered by pure Nana-Nahaijna!

Play-by-Play Announcer:
Whatever *that* might be...

Colour Analyst:
[camera zooms in on Jaromir Jagr] Hey, Jim! It's only the first period, but how many points does he have now? A: A lot. B: A lot. C: A lot!

Play-by-Play Announcer:
Hmmm, I'd go with B, "A lot."

Colour Analyst:
[buzz] Wrong! It's D, "A ton!" But thanks for playing!

Colour Analyst:
G?L!

Play-by-Play Announcer:
Go-go-go-gooool...

Colour Analyst:
G?L!

Play-by-Play Announcer:
Gooooooool...

Colour Analyst:
G?L!

Play-by-Play Announcer:
[embarrassed] Let's never do that again.

Colour Analyst:
Agree!

Colour Analyst:
Ow, I spilled hot coffee on my legs!

Play-by-Play Announcer:
THOSE ARE MY LEGS!

Colour Analyst:
Oh yeah, sorry.

Play-by-Play Announcer:
He scores!

Colour Analyst:
I clocked that one at a cool 200 miles/hour!

Play-by-Play Announcer:
I think you're off by about 100 miles/hour there, Don.

Colour Analyst:
Wow! That thing was going 300 miles/hour?

Play-by-Play Announcer:
Colorado is fully in control of this game again!

Colour Analyst:
And I'm fully in control of my motor skills again! Stupid electro-shock therapy.

Play-by-Play Announcer:
Keep complaining, and I'll up that voltage again!

Colour Analyst:
What complaining?

Play-by-Play Announcer:
Drury has a huge shot, Don!

Colour Analyst:
You could say it has an impact on things! [pause] That joke however, did not.

Colour Analyst:
Impressive, Jim! He now has one goal for every Kevin Costner baseball movie!

Colour Analyst:
Jim, I once took a faceoff against this guy, and he knocked my stick up into the press box!

Play-by-Play Announcer:
Oh, I remember, Don! So does my dentist.

Play-by-Play Announcer:
New Jersey needs to kill off this penalty - they can't afford to go down another goal!

Colour Analyst:
Another goal and the pulse of this team will be this: [flat-line SFX]

Colour Analyst:
That should make them feel better! For about three seconds, until they look up at the scoreboard.

Play-by-Play Announcer:
Tkachuk gets nailed for elbowing.

Colour Analyst:
[Watching the replay] Have you seen the latest in elbow-padding technology? Take a look!

Play-by-Play Announcer:
He stopped that shot as if to say, "Nice try, puny Earthling!"

Colour Analyst:
I'd like to see that kind of hitting continue, because it makes me say witty things.

Colour Analyst:
[after a big hit] Oh... something... something... let's cook the dogs of war!

Play-by-Play Announcer:
[after a faceoff win] [Insert Center's name here] sure is handy to have around the faceoff circle.

Colour Analyst:
And around the house. He rivals Bob Vila.

Play-by-Play Announcer:
Really?

Colour Analyst:
No.