Night Shift

Bill:
I'm an idea man Chuck, I get ideas, sometimes I get so many ideas that I can't even fight them off!

Bill:
So there I was at the Blackjack table with all my wash 'n' dries... did I tell you I had they idea for them first?

Bill:
Hold the phone, hold the phone! Edible paper! You eat it, it's gone... you eat it, it's outta there! No more garbage!

Bill:
Wait a minute! Why don't they just mix the mayonnaise with the tuna in the can... HOLD THE PHONE! Why don't they just FEED the tuna fish mayonnaise!

Bill:
Call Starkist!

Chuck:
This is Chuck to remind Bill to SHUT UP!

Bill:
We're all adults here - we can talk about this openly...

Bill:
PROSTITUTION! But what does that mean really? Let's break up the word. First there's Pros... well, that doesn't mean anything really... then there's Tit... we all know what that means... and then there's shun to shun is to say No! To push it away! To shun something is, well... it really doesn't belong in this word at all, really.

Leonard:
Oh, that Barney Rubble. What an actor.

Bill Blazejowski:
I wash my hands and my feet of you!

Belinda Keaton:
Bill, Bill, are you all right? Did you break anything, Bill?

Bill Blazejowski:
I caught an updraft.

Chuck Lumley:
Are you ok?

Bill:
Yeah, I'm all right, don't worry, I'm all right, fortunately the ground broke my fall.

Chuck Lumley:
As we sit here and idly chat, there are woman, female human beings, rolling around in strange beds with strange men, and we are making money from that.

Bill Blazejowski:
Is this a great country, or what?

Bill Blazejowski:
What's our job? We like drive around and pickup stiffs, or what? Is that what we are suppose to do?

Bill:
LOVE BROKERS!

Chuck:
I used to be an investment counselor.

Bill:
Yeah? [pause] What's that?

Chuck:
It's like a stockbroker.

Bill:
So what're you doing babysitting stiffs? What were you... drinker? Big drinker?

Chuck:
No!

Bill:
Doper! Toothead! Nose candy! Coke!

Bill:
[picking up photo from desk] Hey Chuck? Who is this? Your wife?

Chuck:
Fiancée.

Bill:
Nice frame!

Bill:
You tellin' me to shut up?

Chuck:
I'm telling you to shut up! I will tell your recorder so that you don't forget!

[Chuck picks up tape recorder and turns it on]

Chuck:
Hello, this is Chuck to remind Bill to SHUT UP!

Chuck:
[elevator door opens; Chuck sees Belinda lying on the elevator floor] Oh my God. Did you fall down? Did somebody hit you?

Belinda:
Other way round. Somebody hit me and then I fell down.

Bill:
[Chuck is spitting on himself in the jail cell] Chuck, come on - it looks bad in front of the other guys!

Chuck:
So what am I running for, cell president?

Bill:
No!... they have that?

BILL:
I will give you a quarter if you just ... stop ... talking.

Bill Blazejowski:
Wanna know why I carry this tape recorder? To tape things. See, I'm an idea man, Chuck. I got ideas coming at me all day... I couldn't even fight 'em off if I wanted. Wait a second... hold the phone! Hold the phone! [speaking into tape recorder] Idea to eliminate garbage. Edible paper. You eat it, it's gone! You eat it, it's outta there! No more garbage!

Bill Blazejowski:
What if you mix...mayonnaise right in the can with the tuna fish? Hold it! Hold it! Wait a minute! Chuck! Take live tuna fish...and feed them mayonnaise. Oh this is good. [speaks into tape recorder] Call StarKist.

Bill Blazejowski:
We'll call ourselves Love Brokers.

Bill Blazejowski:
What are we really talking about here? Huh? What's the essence of what we're talking about? Spell it out for you if I have to. [writing on chalkboard] PROSTITUTION! Prostitution. Yeah, we can say it. We're big kids now, right? You know a lot of times it'll help you to understand a word if you break it down, so let’s do that now, shall we? PROS... it doesn't mean anything. Forget about that... TIT, I think we all know what that means. TU, kay two tit and TION, of course, from the Latin to shun... to say no, uh-uh, thank you anyway I don't want it, to push away... it doesn't even belong in this word really, so let's get rid of that.

Chuck Lumley:
[reads the forms that Leonard, the day shift guy left] Name of the deceased... something Polish?