Ninin ga shinobuden

Onsokumaru:
What the hell are we, trash? I wanna take a bath! Shinobu! Kaede! Where are you?!

Sasuke:
Hey Onsokumaru, do you think we're burnable or non-burnable garbage?

Onsokumaru:
I'm pretty sure we'll burn.

Sasuke:
Huh.

Sasuke:
Who goes there!? Huh, I could have sworn I heard someone.

Onsokumaru:
Heh. You fool, what do you take me for? If there had been someone outside, don't you think *I* would have noticed. I'll do a lap around Japan on a unicycle without a *seat* if I'm wrong.

Sasuke:
Seriously? That's great. I'll write up the contract.

Onsokumaru:
Woo-hoo! Shop until you drop! Clothing accessories, illegal porn tapes and high school girls! So where do you think we should start?

Sasuke:
Hey, hey, hey! You're a little too happy. You're babbling about illegal purchases.

Shinobu:
Now, now. Let's not fight while we're eating. My sundae's gone but would either of you like to taste my delicious, sweet cherry?

Shinobu:
Hey now. Onsokumaru, stop bothering everyone. You're such a bad boy.

Onsokumaru:
Excuse me? Some breasts, a few sweet-and-sours kisses and a roomful of farts is *bad*? A *real* ninja must be prepared to face dangers such as these at all times.

Kaede Shiranui:
I so don't understand him.

[the ninjas are reading a dirty magazine]

Sasuke:
Hey, I found a girl I like.

Ninja 1:
Ooh, I'm gonna marry her.

Ninja 3:
If only her b*obs were a little bigger.

Ninja 2:
All right, keep turning. Go to the next page already.

Sasuke:
Wait, I'm not done reading her profile.

Kaede Shiranui:
You're *in* the way.

Onsokumaru:
*This* is where *we* always play baseball! Besides, girls shouldn't even be in sports. Except maybe as cheerleaders, eye candy or beer girls.

Kaede Shiranui:
What a tyrant. Unbelievable.

Onsokumaru:
Me, a tyrant? What an incredibly rude thing to say. To make it up to me, let me touch your b*obs.

Onsokumaru:
Stop laughin' will ya and just trust me. You'll live longer if you bathe with men.

Miyabi:
Really? Is that true, sis?

Shinobu:
Uh, is that true, Kaede?

Kaede Shiranui:
I've never heard of such a bizarre theory.

Ninja 2:
Ah, yes ladies, it's quite true. We've even got a letter from the Surgeon General saying so. Actually, it's really from my uncle Kazuhiko whom everyone calls Pervyhiko and I'm not sure why, though.

Onsokumaru:
Well, it appears that you leave me no choice. Round up the men. We're going to have a guys versus girls baseball game. We'll turn those insolent girls into squishy-wishy sobbing babies.

Sasuke:
All right! A new strike zone!

Ninja 1:
That's a homerun for the girl's team!

Onsokumaru:
Stop! Now wait just a minute here!

Ninja 1:
What? You have a problem with my judgement as the umpire? Assistant umpire, *that's* a penalty.

Ninja 3:
Yes sir!

Ninja 2:
Well, look at this. It looks like the assistant umpire has made a stick to shove up his butt.

Onsokumaru:
Dah, those stubby branches look like they'd be incredibly comfortable but, uh...

Ninja 2:
Onsokumaru does not look too pleased with that penalty.

Onsokumaru:
What is this?

Shinobu:
Huh?

Onsokumaru:
I wonder what's in here.

Kaede Shiranui:
Hey! Leave it alone. That's the Christmas present I brought.

Onsokumaru:
Oh wow, ten kiss tickets! I see some deep and heavy smooching in my future. It's so dirty. It's so filthy. I had no idea this person was such a pervert. Here ladies, this is a present I'd like to give you.

Kaede Shiranui:
Yeah, yeah. Thanks but no thanks.

Shinobu:
You're *amazing* Miyabi. You're so smart.

Ninja 2:
Smarter than us.

Onsokumaru:
I knew that! I knew that! And there's something *else* I know. Men are pointy and women are soft. They like to purr and go 'Meow.' So here I come baby! Come and get some fresh milk! You want it!

Ninja 1:
Really, because I always kind of thought that, too.

Onsokumaru:
Hmm, what's that?

Ninja 3:
Ow! Ah! That's my butt!

Kaede Shiranui:
It's been fun, but can you guys please leave now?

Sasuke:
Did you hear that, Onsokumaru? What a terrible order. I can't believe how rude she is.

Onsokumaru:
No, I couldn't understand her at all, actually. Apparently, this village only seems to speak the language of selfish priss.

Onsokumaru:
You know, you're just as bad as the instant cup ramen leftovers that get stuck in the drain after I empty out the hot water.

Sasuke:
Really? That bad?

Shinobu:
Wow, you're so amazing, Kaede. And you know what? You've just earned yourself a whole bunch of stamps on the stamp card inside my heart.

Kaede Shiranui:
Great, but what's all this about a stamp card?