Nutty Professor 2

Sherman Klump:
You know it's funny how you get used to certain things. You get used to being overweight. You even get used to people making fun of you. Somewhere along the line I got used to being alone. I just don't want to be alone anymore.

Sherman Klump:
[Has lost all of his intelligence. Denise asks him to tell her who she is] Ah, pretty lady!

Sherman Klump:
[To Denise] I never... never wanted to hurt you. Understand? I thought that if you knew Buddy was a part of me, you wouldn't have me.

Dean Richmond:
Deals come and go. Wellman will always be Wellman. But you know what bothers me? I walk down the street and this cute little boy says, "Look Mommy, there goes the Hamster's B*TCH!"

Dean Richmond:
"I'm not that kind of...[screaming] GUUUUUUUUUUUY!!!!!!"

Buddy Love:
[Sherman, losing his intelligence, spells "Sh*t" S-H-I-T-E] Oh, ho-ho-ho. My shite?

Buddy Love:
Oh, You Monster.

Buddy Love:
What The Heck is That? Oh, Sherman, Oh, You Sneaky Fool. Oh, Sherman. [Turning into A Baby] Oh, Great. Everyone Calm Down, Relax. Everything is Under Control. [Woman Stares at Him] What The Heck Are You Looking At.

Sherman Klump:
Buddy Love, I am SICK, and TIRED, of your S-H...

Dean Richmond:
"I"

Skerman Klump:
Thank you. T-E!

Buddy Love:
Oh, ho-ho-ho. My shite?

[Sherman is serenading Denise with the assistance of a Mariachi band]

Sherman:
Denise will you...

Buddy:
Hey Sherman. You hear me Sherman?

Sherman:
...Denise will ya? Will ya? Let me come up there and put my beef in your taco?

Mexican band:
"...Put the beef in your taco!

Denise:
What?

Sherman:
No, no...

Sherman:
I thought you wanted to go out and get some Mexican food...that's why I said that...

Denise:
...Well I am kind of hungry, but I'm not...

Sherman:
Oh you are huh? I bet you could stand for a big ole whopper right now, huh?

Mexican band:
"...A big ole whopper right now!

Neighbor:
You're sick!

Sherman:
I got to tell you I'm a Jumbo Jack man myself. Yeah and I'm loaded with secret sauce!

Granny:
You better eat up Isaac, 'cause you gonna need your strength. Yeah, later on, me and Isaac gonna watch "Mating Season on the Serengeti." Doesn't take a lot to get Isaac going.

Cletus:
Timeout! Let me call a timeout on that.

Anna:
Lord, my, my.

Cletus:
I don't want to hear about you old-ass geriatrics.

Granny:
Oh, yeah Cletus? Me and Isaac might be dried up geriatrics, but ain't nothing wrong with Isaac'a love tackle.

[Table falls silent].

Ernie:
Oh snap now.

Granny:
What's a matter Cletus, cat got your tongue? Did I step on a nerve Cletus? I get ya, got ya, got ya!

Granny:
Come on Cletus, come on right now! But I'm gonna tell you something, I gotta a razor in this here bag.

Cletus:
Oh yeah? Well let me tell you something, that ain't even no bag you got in your hand, that's your titty.

Anna:
Cletus!

Cletus:
She's an old bag with old bag tittie.

Ernie (quietly to Ernie Jr.):
Heh, he called Grandma a titty bag

Granny:
The other day I got out the shower and I bend down to reach for a towel, and I felt a sharp pain in my chest. Shot through my chest and up around my shoulder and down my spine. I thought "Oh, Lord." I thought I was dying. I bent over and looked, and I was standing on my own titty.

Anna:
You don't need a breast reduction, just be more careful.

Granny:
Both feet too, both feet.

Grandma Klump:
Does Cletus know I'm strapped?

Cletus:
Come on, shoot.

Grandma Klump:
I'm strapped, nigga!

Denise:
[persistent] Sherman, look at me! Who am I?

Sherman:
Ah, pretty lady!

Denise:
[sobbing] Oh, honey! It's going to be okay, I'll take care of you.

Sherman:
[at same time] Yeah, nice lady!

Cletus:
Come on, lets get him home.

Anna:
[Answering door] Oh my goodness! Is there a fire?

Fireman Stripper:
Yes ma'am. I'm afraid there is.

Anna:
I don't smell no smoke. [sniffs]

Fireman Stripper:
[Walks in and beings playing music from stereo] There's a fire in my pants, and it's getting muy caliente! [begins stripping]

Party guests, Bridesmaid and Denise:
Ooh! [laugh and clap]

The Klumps are back!

Eddie Murphy Is The Klumps