One Day at a Time

[Urging Barbara not to lose her virginity]

Duane Schneider:
Always remember, and please never forget: A man is like a bow-and-arrow, and a woman is like a target. Bow-and-arrow needs practice. Target doesn't.

Duane Schneider:
[after hearing Ms. Romano had a heart attack] Women don't get heart attacks. They give 'em.

Barbara Cooper Royer:
I'm the only girl who has to go to Confession and make up sins.

Duane Schneider:
[pretending to pick each other up] Do you wanna go to your place or mine?

Ann Romano Royer:
Both.

Julie Cooper Horvath:
She's one of the most independent women I've ever met.

Ann Romano Royer:
She's not independent, she one of the most dependent women I've ever seen.

Julie Cooper Horvath:
I feel like a woman, I've never felt more like a woman.

David Kane:
[uncomfortable] I'm gonna go home now.

Ann Romano Royer:
That Was BVD.

Ed Cooper, Julie's and Barbara's Father:
BVD?

Ann Romano Royer:
Before Vicky, Darling.

Julie Cooper Horvath:
Chuck wants to go all the way.

Barbara Cooper Royer:
To bed?

Julie Cooper Horvath:
Of course to bed. What'd you think, all the way to Talito?

Duane Schneider:
Ms. Romano, I'm a little bit disappointed in you. How can you settle for a tricycle when Kawasaki makes the good times roll?

David Kane:
Schneider, you're the only person I know who's pet rock is his own head.