One Ham's Family

Junior:
Well, what'ya know! Saint Nicolas! What you know, Nick?

Wolf:
Oh, er... Merry Christmas, my little man. He he he he. I'm sure you've been a very good little boy this year, haven't you?

Junior:
He don't know me very well, do he, folks?

Junior:
Well, I cannot heckle that wolf anymore 'til he get back, so I might as well heckle you people out there. [pulls out a blackboard and screeches on it with chalk] I sure is a mean widdle kid, ain't I?

Mother:
Junior, you got a whipping coming to you.

Junior:
[gives mother a gift box] And you got a present coming to you. Merry Christmas, Mommy.

Mother:
Oh, Junior. You sweet thing. [opens present] A fur coat! [puts it on; it has the same tail as the wolf] Why, this coat is just what I need.

Wolf:
[comes in naked, grabs fur coat] You and me both, sister. He he he he he! [runs out; door closes, has sign that reads: "Corny ending, isn't it?"]

Junior:
Stop! Don't come in here! This will be entirely too gruesome to witness! Keep your distance! Get back!