Orgazmo

Maxxx Orbison:
Yeah, I just dig that Jesus guy!

Joe Young:
They want me to do a sequel.

Lisa:
A sequel, to "Death of a Salesman"? Doesn't he die at the end of the first?

Joe Young:
Yes, but he has a twin brother, and he wants revenge.

Lisa:
Revenge? But, doesn't he kill himself?

Joe Young:
No, no, that's what you were led to believe. He was killed by the C.I.A for selling smack... to Nazis...

Lisa:
Wow!

Young Ben:
Dad, I don't think I'm gonna do it Hamster Style anymore.

Ben Chapelski:
Let's see how you like my... COCK ROCKET!

Ben Chapelski:
Jesus!

Joe Young:
Where?

Lisa:
I hope you're happy in the life you've chosen.

Joe Young:
Don't quote Dickens in my apartment!

Maxxx Orbison:
Put your tongue in her mouth, for Christ's sake!

Joe Young:
How would Christ benefit from me putting my tongue in someone's mouth?

Dave the Lighting Guy:
Everybody say, "Geddy Lee!"

Joe Young:
Who's Geddy Lee?

Dave the Lighting Guy:
Geddy Lee, best bass player EVER, come on!

Dave the Lighting Guy:
I don't wanna sound like a queer or nothin', but I think Depeche Mode is a sweet band!

Dave the Lighting Guy:
Dude, I don't wanna sound like a queer or nothin', but I think you got a hot ass!

Joe Young:
Thanks.

Dave the Lighting Guy:
Say, have you seen that movie Clash of the Titans?

Joe Young:
Oh yeah, the greek mythology.

Dave the Lighting Guy:
Hey, I don't wanna sound like a queer or nothin', but I think unicorns are kick ass!

Joe Young:
I'm not a superhero! I'm a Latter-Day Saint.

Joe Young:
I am a bad, bad Mormon!

Ben Chapelski:
To the Orgazmobile!

Joe Young:
What?

Ben Chapelski:
My Buick Century!

Maxxx Orbison:
Bring me my stunt cock.

Joe Young:
Oh... I, I can't say that.

Maxxx Orbison:
Say what?

Joe Young:
What are they called?

Maxxx Orbison:
The Assf*** Twins.

Joe Young:
I can't say that. Can we call them something else?

Maxxx Orbison:
But they're the Assf*** Twins.

Joe Young:
Well I know, but um, couldn't I call them the Naughty Twins or something?

Maxxx Orbison:
No, you *couldn't* just call them the Naughty Twins. They're the Assf*** Twins. Why would you call them The Naughty Twins when they get f***ed in the ass all the time?

Joe Young:
Well, that's pretty naughty.

Maxxx Orbison:
What's your name, again?

Sancho:
I am Sancho.

Maxxx Orbison:
Look, I get a lot of people auditioning all the time. What makes you think that you'd be good enough for porno?

Sancho:
I am Sancho.

Maxxx Orbison:
Great... but what do you do?

Sancho:
What do I do? I am Sancho.

Maxxx Orbison:
And...?

Sancho:
And there are many Jeffs in the world, and many Toms as well. But I... am Sancho.

Maxxx Orbison:
And...?

Sancho:
Are you Sancho? No you are not. Neither is Scott Baio Sancho. Frank Gifford is not Sancho. But I...

Maxxx Orbison:
You... are Sancho!

Sancho:
That's right.

Maxxx Orbison:
Okay, you're hired.

Joe Young:
Ben, use your hamster style!

Maxxx Orbison:
I do what I do, and I make a lot of money. And I don't give a sh*t what I do to people, because they are all idiots!

Clark:
Yeah!

Maxxx Orbison:
Especially you, Clark, you pig-f***ing hunk of sh*t!

Clark:
Yeah!

Georgi:
My doctor says now I have enough silicone in my body to kill a small elephant! Isn't that cool?

Saffi:
Oh, give it to me, you big stud!

Rodgers:
I'm not a stud!

Saffi:
Huh?

Rodgers:
I am not a stud! I'm...

Clark:
...JIZZ MASTER ZERO!

Interviewer:
What's the difference between Orgazmo and your previous porn titles, like Schindler's Fist?

Maxxx Orbison:
I really think history will describe Orgazmo better than I possibly could.

Dave the Lighting Guy:
That's some hot sh*t right there!

Joe Young:
We're from The Church of Jesus Christ.

Old Lady:
Oh, the Mormons?

Joe Young:
That's right. I'm elder Young and this is elder White.

Old Lady:
Well, you two boys can just f*** right off.

Joe Young:
Ma'am?

Old Lady:
You heard me. Take that book of Mormons and shove it so far up your righteous asses that you choke, you soul soliciting pigf***ers.

Joe Young:
Ben, superheroes that pray together stay together.

Ben Chapelski:
Aw, what the f***!

Doctor:
Your balls have grown to the size of oranges and your cock has shrunk.

Maxxx Orbison:
Tell me something I don't know doc.

Doctor:
I am going to have to cut off your cock.

Maxxx Orbison:
Ha ha ha! When I get out of here. Orgazmo you'll be facing Nuddered Man. Ha ha ha!

G-Fresh:
Those punks from across the street came in the other day and just whupped my sorry black ass!

T-Rex:
You're gonna make me cum, or I'm gonna kick your ass!

T-Rex:
Hi fellas, I'm ready to f***.

Orgazmo:
Huh?

T-Rex:
You want me on top?

Orgazmo:
Uh... NO! I'll be on top!

T-Rex:
You're gonna make me cum, or I'm gonna kick your butt!

Maxxx Orbison:
Aaaand... action!

T-Rex:
Oh! Come on nah! Come on nah! You make me so hot nah! You make me so hot!

Ben Chapelski:
I tell ya, Joe, there's nothing sadder than a sad Japanese man.

G-Fresh:
You gonna get popped! if you keep ridin' me...

Sancho:
Hey, it's Orgazmo!

Joe Young:
I'm not Orgazmo.

Sancho:
I am Sancho.

G-Fresh:
Aw, dat hurt so much!

Maxxx Orbison:
Okay, we're sucking, we're sucking...

Dave the Lighting Guy:
Yeah! SUCK THAT COCK!

Ben Chapelski:
Dude! He's never gonna wanna have another orgasm again!

Joe Young:
One more time for Jesus.

Ben Chapelski:
Whoa! DVDA shot! So, you up for some sushi?

Joe Young:
You see, when the Mormons first arrived, they didn't have any money...

Joe Young:
DVDA?

Lisa:
Excuse me, could you tell me what movie this is?

Lisa:
No, I'm from Utah.

Joe Young:
We should call the police!

Joe Young:
No, Utah.

Dave the Lighting Guy:
My name's Dave.

Sancho:
I am Sancho. Don't mean to sound like queer, but I find fire very romantic.

Dave the Lighting Guy:
These guys kind of sound like Depeche Mode!

Rodgers:
I bet you want it, baby!

Saffi:
Oh, yeah, I want it, baby! I am so badly wanting IT!

Lisa:
How could you have sex with all of those women?

Joe Young:
I didn't it was a stunt cock

Lisa:
A stunt cock? So you aren't touching all of those women's breasts?

Joe Young:
Oh no they're all just special effects

Lisa:
really?

Joe Young:
...no

Dave the lighting guy:
Ya know-I don't wanna sound like a queer on nothin', but unicorns are pretty f***in sweet.

Ben:
Jesus!

Joe:
Where?!

Ben:
Hey, can you walk around with that thing on?

Joe:
I think so, why?

Ben:
Wanna go have some fun?

Ben:
Quick! To the Orgazmobile!

Joe:
What?

Ben:
My Buick Century!

Maxxx Orbison:
What you want, Hung? I'm very very busy.

Joe:
Well, Mr. Orbison, I just came by to tell you that... I have to quit.

Sancho:
Oh my God, it's Orgazmo!

Joe:
I'm not Orgazmo!

Sancho:
I am Sancho

Joe:
You, you see, Mr. Orbison, my my fiancée came infrom out of town and everything just... well... dangit, I just have to get back to Utah and marry her!

Maxxx Orbison:
Get outta here! I'll see ya on set tomorrow.

Joe:
No, I'm serious. I appreciate everything you've done for me, but, I have to say no. My contract does state that I can leave whenever I want.

Maxxx Orbison:
Wait a minute, kid, you're forgetting something.

Joe:
What?

Maxxx Orbison:
That contracts don't mean sh*t to me. Now you're gonna finish this film. and then do you know what you're gonna do?

Joe:
No.

Maxxx Orbison:
You're gonna do Orgazmo 3. Orgazmo 4, Orgazmo 5, Orgazmo Twenty-f***ing-Seven if I want you to and do you know why?

Joe:
No.

Maxxx Orbison:
Because I'm Maxxx Orbison! and I get what I want!

Joe:
Now... Now hold on a minute, Mr. Orbison! I said I don't wanna do it! and you don't... you don't... own me!

Maxxx Orbison:
You wanna bet I don't punk? Now I'm warnin' you, kid! Don't f*** with me! Now you go home and you tell your little fiancée that the wedding is off and you have your ass... back here tomorrow a.m. or else, you'll be sleeping with the fishes. see? send in the next audition.

Joe:
You know? I have had enough of your poo, Mr. Orbison! Find yourself another Orgazmo!

Maxxx Orbison:
I'm warning you, Hung!

Joe:
Good-bye!

Clark:
Not so fast, happy-pants.

Maxxx Orbison:
No. No! It's his decision. Let him go.

A-Cup:
You shouldn't let me whoop his ass, Uncle Orbison!

Maxxx Orbison:
No, we don't need him all messed up for the shoot tomorrow. There's another way.

Dave:
I don't want to sound like a queer or nothin', but I'd kinda like to make love to you tonight.

Maxxx Orbison:
Soon he will be sleeping with the fishes, see.

G-Fresh:
Homey don't play that!

G-Fresh:
G-Fresh in the house.

G-Fresh:
Get your punk asses out of my sushi bar!

G-Fresh:
They just kicked my sorry black ass!