Oscar

Snaps:
Of course, Papa.

Snaps:
Poole was right! You are an ox *and* a moron!

Aldo:
Breakfast is soived.

Snaps:
"Served", you paluka!

Snaps:
Connie! Am-scray!

Connie:
Do I have to, Boss? Every time I leave I fall behind.

Connie:
Even in the old days he was known as an honest crook.

Dr. Thornton Poole:
That's an oxymoron.

Connie:
Gee, you shouldn't oughta said that, Doc.

Snaps:
Yeah, leave Connie alone. He does the best he can.

Anthony:
All that travel must cut into your home life.

Dr. Thornton Poole:
Well, I don't spend as much time with mother as I'd like. But she's got the cats.

Snaps:
Let's get started, I got until noon to look like a banker.

Snaps:
You're a butler now! Butle!

Snaps:
If it's Poole you want, it's Poole you'll get. But, Lisa, you've *got* to cross the finish line on this one! This is your third fiance today and it ain't even lunch yet!

Connie:
I warned him, boss.

Aldo:
Anthony said it was a matter of life an death, boss.

Snaps:
And will you two mugs stop callin? me "boss"? It ain't respectable!

Connie:
I got it! You daughter's not your daughter, and the cash that used to be the jewels is now your underwear!

Sophia:
Now you fired the maid?

Snaps:
No! She quit to marry Bruce Underwood!

Sophia:
When did that happen?

Snaps:
I don't know... somewhere between my vest and my pants.

Anthony Rossano:
When I took over, your books were a mess.

Snaps:
They don't sound like they're in no great shape now!

Snaps:
Damn, a double-negative.

Lisa Provolone:
I'm not a little girl anymore! Look!

Snaps:
Put that away, I'M YOUR FATHER!

Lisa Provolone:
...I wanna lay on the beach in Honolulu!

Snaps:
Do whatever you want, just don't leave this room!

Snaps:
Of course I knew. I just had no idea!

Aldo:
Lemme me show you tha door;

Aldo:
There?s tha door!

Nora:
Mr. Provolone! I'm leaving you to go to the Underwood's.

Snaps:
Underwood's? You're going to work for Bruce?

Nora:
I'm marrying Bruce.

Snaps:
You're marrying Bruce, I found him first! I mean for my daughter.

Nora:
We met the day he called on Lisa. Oh, it was love at first sight.

Snaps:
Congratulations... You're fired!

Nora:
You can't fire me... I quit!

Snaps:
Try gettin' a reference outta me sister! Great! The maid gets a millionaire, and my daughter gets a chauffer.