Over Here

Group Captain Barker:
You don't mind if I call you Joe

Hewitt:
Not in the least, but my name's Jack

Group Captain Barker:
Ah! Even Better! My name's Cyril

Group Captain Barker:
Look Jack, I'm sorry we seem to have got off on rather the wrong foot, but I'd like you to know that I'm only trying to help.

Hewitt:
Trying to help? We called for help 30 minutes ago, but your Limey sons of b*tches didn't show!

Group Captain Barker:
We called for your help 2 years ago, and you've only just arrived!

Lady Billingham:
Charles, I'll make one last appeal to your better nature! We don't have to go through with this rediculos party. There's still time to cancel the Americans, and just let the nice people come! We could say there's illness in the house - some of the staff have come down with something those type of people go down with.

Daphne:
Oh no - I'm looking forward to this evening!

Lady Billingham:
I don't particularly care, Daphne!

Charlie:
Mother, What's the point of holding an independence Day party without some Americans? Look, the Americans are sharing our base with us. I thought the least I could do was to offer them some English hospitality

Lady Billingham:
I feel exactly the same, darling, but not here! Well, at least cancel your squadron!

Charlie:
Too late, mother - I've invited everyone now!

Lady Billingham:
You seem to be forgetting I have maids working here - young, country girls, who are at an impressionable age. I can't expose them to American airmen!

Daphne:
Mother, they're no different from their British counterparts.

Lady Billingham:
Is that supposed to make me feel better? [Spots Butler standing nearby] Do you have any experience with Americans, Butler?

Butler:
Very Little, Madam. During the First World War, my sister Violet made the aquaintance of a young Americam airman named Hank. I met him on several occasions. He left me with a lasting impression, and Violet with twins.

Lady Billingham:
There, you see - what did I tell you?

Daphne:
Nobody's going to get pregnant, Beatrice!

Charlie:
Don't put it past me, old girl - a couple of medium sherrys, and I'm a tiger!

Lady Billingham:
Your cousin Rosemary will be here!

Charlie:
Yes, well, I'm sure we won't have a repitition of last time.

Daphne:
Of course not! Anyway, Archie bunting won't even be here - he's still in hospital!

Charlie:
Well, actually, he was discharged this morning. [Butler exits via the door in the background] Oh look, mother, why do you always look on the black side? I guarantee it will be a very quite, and very civilised gathering. [a housemaid enters]

Housemaid:
Begging your pardon, M'lady. That was Col Hewitt, phoning from the American airbase. He said the band's on it's way.

Lady Billingham:
Dear god!

Tully:
There is a war on, Bunting!

Archie Bunting:
Oh, Is that what it is! I wondered why the Luftwaffe were shooting down my planes and bombing the shite out of the country!

Archie Bunting:
About the American Squadron. Yes, well, I have made contact. Over.

Hewitt:
Thank god!

Group Captain Barker:
Any damage, Archie?

Archie Bunting:
Ah, well, one of them has a few tiny little holes in it - pinpricks really. Over.

Hewitt:
What about the Luftwaffe?

Group Captain Barker:
[Twitches] Have you made any contact with the enemy, Archie?

Archie Bunting:
Well, actually, I think that was a bit of a false alarm. Erm, there are no enemy aircraft in the area. Over.

Hewitt:
What does he mean, no enemy aircraft - one of my planes just got turned into a tea strainer!

Group Captain Barker:
Sorry, Archie, we don't quite understand you, old boy. The American captain reported being under attack. Over.

Archie Bunting:
Ah, yes, it wasn't an enemy aircraft. It was, sort of, in a manner of speaking, me. Over.

Hewitt:
[Shocked] He shot my plane?

Group Captain Barker:
Archie, why don't you come in now. Sort of land. perhaps we could have a little chat.

Webster:
Hey, little friend, this is your big buddy, we owe you a big one. Over

Archie Bunting:
Honestly, it was nothing!

Narrator:
Friendly fire - that's what it's called nowadays. One wonders who could have invented such a ludicrously cosmetic term for such lethal mistakes. In the Britain of 1942, these episodes were offically known in military circles as balls ups, and sadly they happened all to often. And not just to the British. These incidents afflicted both of the opposing forces - and the Germans too, I shouldn't wonder!

Group Captain Barker:
[Barker and Hewitt are walking across the field towards the B-17s] There you are, jack - all safe and sound.

Hewitt:
No damm thanks to the RAF!

Group Captain Barker:
Bear with me, old boy, it was an honest mistake, Jack - these things happen. I wouldn't say anything about it if I were you.

Hewitt:
Don't say anything! One of your fighters almost destroys an American bomber and it's entire crew, and you expect me to keep quite about it?

Group Captain Barker:
Just till we get clearance from HQ. You see, in a funny old sort of way, we have to consider morale!

Hewitt:
In the last two hours of my life, I have seen my brand new airbase destroyed by German Luftwaffes [Barker twitches] and then, as an encore, my squadron's been attacked by the British!

Hewitt:
The moment he lands, I want that screwball - what's his name?

Group Captain Barker:
Bunting.

Hewitt:
I want to see Squadron Leader Bunting in my office!

Group Captain Barker:
Of course. Would you prefer to use my office?

Hewitt:
Why?

Group Captain Barker:
Well, in a funny old sort of a way, you haven't got an office!

Group Captain Barker:
[Chasing after Hewitt] Look, Jack, I realise you don't relish the prospect of sharing a base with us.

Hewitt:
[Stops and turns to face Barker] Whatever gave you that idea?

Group Captain Barker:
[Stopping in front of Hewitt] Oh, just the way that every time it's mentioned, your face takes on the pinched expression of a man with a mackeral up his arse!

Hewitt:
You're not related to Walt Disney, are you?

Hewitt:
[On Barker's comparing the situation to a marriage] Let me be completly honest with you, Cryil, I've only know you for a short while, and I don't like you!

Group Captain Barker:
But why?

Hewitt:
Oh, it's the little things, like the way you keep saying bare with me, and funny old sort of way. It's the way you teitch every time someone mentions the Luftwwaffe!

Group Captain Barker:
[Twitches] I don't

Hewitt:
But you know what really ticks me off? It's that superiour, condersending, oh so British manner of yours and, I might add, I didn't apriciate the mackeral line! A marriage? God, if this is a marriage, we're spending the honeymoon with the in-laws! Are you happily married, Cryil?

Group Captain Barker:
I was once, Jack.

Hewitt:
She walked out on you, huh? Clever woman! Now your wife, I could get along with!

Group Captain Barker:
No, she didn't walk out on me, Jack. She was killed in an air raid on London about a year ago!

Hewitt:
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Group Captain Barker:
Not your fault, Jack

Hewitt:
I'll see you and Bunting in your office in 10 minutes. [Walks off]

Group Captain Barker:
Right you are, Jack. i'm looking forward to it.

Group Captain Barker:
[Walkimg into the office, where Archie is waiting] Bloody F!, Bloody, bloody F! Would you kindly explain what the hell you thought you were playing at up there? [Archie starts to reply] Shut up! And take that rediculous thing out of your lapel!

Group Captain Barker:
You really let me down badly this time, Bunting!

Archie Bunting:
I've let you down? May I remind you, sir, that for the last 6 months, my squadron has been fighting one man short!

Herschel Lenko:
[Realising Bunting used the mirror on the wall to see his cards] You Limey... bullshitter!

Herschel Lenko:
I'm going to teach that Limey to play cards fairly - with a marked deck of cards!

Herschel Lenko:
How's your leg?

Archie Bunting:
Marvellous - can't feel a thing!

Herschel Lenko:
Good! I hope you weren't looking forward to the Independence Day party too much, cause by the time I'm finished with you, you're not going to feel much like dancing.

Archie Bunting:
Get on with it, Lenko - I have to catch a bus into town, i'm going to pick up my bike from the garage.

Herschel Lenko:
[Watching Archie push his Silver Star across the table] You can't bet with a Sliver Star! That's an award from the President of the United states!

Archie Bunting:
I've no money left! Besides, you have to beat my hand first.

Herschel Lenko:
I can beat your hand!

Archie Bunting:
How do you know?

Herschel Lenko:
Call it intuition.

Archie Bunting:
Well, let's put your intuition to the test then, shall we?

J. J.:
[after Lenko wins the game with Archie] I wish I could cheat like you, Herschel!

Herschel Lenko:
It's easy, J. J. - I'll teach you!

[Lenko and the others watch Archie limp towards the pub door]

Herschel Lenko:
Hey, what happened to your leg?

Archie Bunting:
Nothing, old boy! Like I said [Taps it three times with his cane, producing a matalic sound] Can't feel a thing. See you at the dance! [Exits]

Edna:
[In a playful way] Thank you, sir.

Tully:
Oh, I think we can dispense with all this 'sir' business, Edna. Call me Wing-Commander. Or as we know each other, you can call me WingCo.

Edna:
Sorry?

Tully:
Short for Wing-Commander. All my chaps call me WingCo. [Drinks his pint]

Edna:
Yeah, I think I've heard them call you that.

Tully:
Hmm.

Edna:
Well it sounded like that. [Tully eyes look about thinking what Edna is referring to]

Hewitt:
[Archie's been drinking, ordered by Barker to go to his quarters, but stops to talk to Hewitt - this is after the 'likewise' part] Who the hell do you think you are, sir?

[Hewitt stands up from the table]

Archie Bunting:
I'll tell you who the hell I think I am, sir! I'm Squadron-Leader Blotto, Squadron-Bleeding Hunter, Hunt, Blunt, Something! I'm a pilot, sir, and a damn good one. I bid you goodnight.

[Archie turns and leaves the bar knocking into something]

[Hewitt sits down looking at Archie as he stumbles out]

Group Captain Barker:
[Getting two whiskeys from the barman] Thank you, George.

[Walks over to join Hewitt with the drinks]

Hewitt:
That Bunting guy, does he always drink that way?

Group Captain Barker:
Hm? Oh no, no, no. Usually, he has to be carried out.

Hewitt:
Doesn't that worry you?

Group Captain Barker:
Sometimes, yes. But then I understand it. I understand them all. I mean, look at them Jack.

[Camera pans over to Archie's squadron, drinking, talking and laughing]

Group Captain Barker:
They're just lads. We taught them how to kill before they've learnt how to shave. And most of them believe that their next sortie will be their last one. So no, I'm not unduly worried about their future health. A drink makes more sense than a pension.

[Hewitt smirks in partial understanding]

Group Captain Barker:
Take that incident today. Archie believed that your chaps were being attacked by enemy aircraft. As far as he was concerned, he was a lone fighter facing ten, maybe fifteen Messerschmitts.

Hewitt:
That's all very well, but...

Group Captain Barker:
He still went in, Jack. He still went in. Now couldn't we pass this whole thing off as an honest mistake? I mean nobody can prove there weren't enemy planes in the area because our radar was down. But you could very well easily say, Bunting escorted your squadron home and that would be the end of it. What do you say, Jack? Eh?

Hewitt:
Well, I'll think about it Cyrill. I'm promising nothing.

Group Captain Barker:
Thank you, Jack. I appreciate that. Bunting may come across as a bit of a, a bit of a wild egg, but I know one thing. If I give that man an order he will follow it. Regardless of the consequences.

[Archie drives off on his motorbike after Barker ordered him to walk home]

Group Captain Barker:
Of course he's ex-grammar school which doesn't help!.

Herschel Lenko:
[In British hospital] Hey, how's your leg?

Archie Bunting:
Hurts. That's why I drink to take the pain away. [Referring to the cognac Archie is drinking on the quiet]

Herschel Lenko:
Oh, I thought you just liked it.

Archie Bunting:
This is war, Lenko. Things are rarely simple as they appear.

Herschel Lenko:
Boy, I envy you RAF guys.

Archie Bunting:
Really? Why is that?

Herschel Lenko:
You've seen real action. That's where I want to be, right in the thick of it. Must be a great feeling.

Archie Bunting:
Oh yes, it's tremendous fun.

[laughs]

Archie Bunting:
Do you know, I've seen some of my best friends blow to pieces right in front my eyes. One of them, what was his name? Ah, Sky Leggit we called him, his plane exploded about a hundred feet above me and a piece of his lower intestine slapped right across the windscreen. Couldn't budge the bugger. [Lenko's cheerfulness gives way to a sad and solemn look]

Archie Bunting:
I've been to more funerals than a hearse. [laughs]

Archie Bunting:
Oh, it's tremendous fun.

[Turns serious]

Archie Bunting:
Listen to me, and understand what I'm saying. This is not a holiday, this is war.

Herschel Lenko:
I know it's not a holiday! And we don't say 'holiday', we call it a vacation.

Archie Bunting:
Oh, I do beg your pardon. Look around our ward. There are sixteen men in there. Count how many arms and legs. Just what the doctor ordered.

Cappy:
[Eating breakfast in the dining room] Have you ever thought what a strange name you've got, Butler?

Butler:
Sir?

Cappy:
Well, your name's Butler.

[laughs]

Cappy:
And you are a butler.

Butler:
Oh yes, thank you, sir.

Cappy:
Don't you find that odd?

Butler:
Not in the least. I once knew a man called Driver, who was indeed a driver. and another young gentleman called Plumber, who for a living plumbed. Oddly enough you're not the first person to notice the coincidence between my name and my occupation. A short while ago, another gentleman said exactly the same as you. His name was Pratt.

[Cappy looks away foolishly, another pilot scoffs, Robbie looks confused]

Butler:
[Clears throat as he approaches Archie and Dougal on the lawn] Ah-hem. Excuse me, sir. That was a call from your base. Your squadron leave's been cancelled, sir. You're to return forthwith.

Archie Bunting:
[Pained] Oh no. Thank you, Butler.

[Butler departs]

Archie Bunting:
Right, Dougal. Get the others together and be quick about it.

[Dougal looks shocked, as he is clearly hungover]

Lady Billingham:
[Calling from far away] Squadron-Leader!

Archie Bunting:
[Archie and Dougal look around to see where she is calling from. Archie spots her on some steps, nudges Dougal] Lady Billingham, good morning. Thank you for yesterday. Lovely ceremony, very moving.

Lady Billingham:
[Not impressed] Is that yours?

[Points with her head to Archie's Spitfire gracefully sitting on the ornamental lawn]

Archie Bunting:
Um, I believe it is!

Lady Billingham:
Well, why did you bring it with you?

Archie Bunting:
Well, I need it, it's part of my job.

Lady Billingham:
Who told you, you could land on my grounds?

Archie Bunting:
Charlie.

Lady Billingham:
Charlie?

Archie Bunting:
He's your son.

[Lady Billingham looks pained]

Archie Bunting:
He said, 'there's plenty of land, bring the kite'.

Cappy:
[after Charlie greets Barker, who departs with Archie & Tully, Cappy comes up] What's all this 'What-oh, Cyrill!'?

Charlie:
He's a family friend, for Pete's sake.

Cappy:
I hate you nobs. What-oh-bloody-Cyrill?

Charlie:
Oh, just bowl the ruddy ball, Cappy, and stop irritating. [Charlie takes the cricket bat from Cappy and walks away]

Cappy:
[Disgusted muttering tone] What-oh-bloody-Cyrill!

Butler:
[Morning after Charlie's wedding in the breakfast room with Archie's squadron in various form of hangovers. Butler walks over to Robbie's sleeping form on the dining table, pulls him up, removes a plate, and let's him drop tp the table, awaking Archie] Squadron-Leader. Have you eaten, sir?

Archie Bunting:
[Groggily] What? No...

Butler:
Can I get you something, sir? Fried egg? Bacon? Black pudding?

Archie Bunting:
No. Nothing. Thank you. Nothing.

[Butler turns to food, and prepares something]

Archie Bunting:
Umm, how did last night's reception go? Did everyone enjoy themselves?

Butler:
Well, you seemed to be having a wonderful time, sir. Brought a certain, uh, spirit and flair to the occasion. Everyone remarked upon it.

Archie Bunting:
[Worried] Oh no. What about Charlie? I didn't upset or offend him, did I?

Butler:
Well, I couldn't say, sir. After you challenged him to a drinking contest, it was rather difficult to gauge his exact mood, sir.

Archie Bunting:
A drinking contest?

Butler:
Yes. Apparently it's an ancient tradition within your squadron. It was started, umm, what?

[pauses to think]

Butler:
All about a year ago. Needless to say, Master Charles lost.

[Archie, embarrassed, nods and looks down]

Butler:
The other members of your squadron, carried him from the marquee, howling his unconscious form above their heads in a simple but rather touching ceremony. Reminiscent to some long-forgotten Nordic ritual. Simply cried out I thought for a longboat and half a dozen Valkyries and we could have been back at the old Royal Opera House, Vienna. Have you seen Wagner's 'Gotterdammerung', sir?

Archie Bunting:
No.

Butler:
No, me neither. Thought I did see 'Fasswaller' once at the Finsbury Park Empire.

Archie Bunting:
What about the bride?

Butler:
I didn't spot her, sir. But there was a rather large audience.

[Walks over to Robbie, pulls him up and puts a plate of food before him. Robbie's sleeping form begins to drop, Butler pulls him up by the shoulder]

Archie Bunting:
No, I meant, did I offend her?

Butler:
[pauses, looks around, thinking] Yes.

[Archie nods and looks pained. Telephone rings]

Butler:
Excuse me, sir, that may be the telephone.

[Taps Robbie on the shoulder who wakes up, surprised and momentarily confused seeing food before him]