Parent Trap

Sharon McKendrick:
That's how true love creates its beautiful agony. All splendid lovers have just dreadful times! Uh, Peleus and Melicent... Daphnis and Chloë... History's just jammed with stories of lovers parted by some silly thing!

Miss Inch:
Congratulations. In the history of this camp, that was the most infamous, the most disgusting, the most revolting display of hooliganism we have ever had.

Miss Grunecker:
Rolling around like hooligans in front of our guests.

Miss Inch:
And worst of all, two sisters who should be setting a good example.

Susan Evers:
We're not sisters!

Sharon McKendrick:
I've never seen HER before in my life.

Miss Inch:
They are! Aren't they?

Miss Grunecker:
No ma'am. Just look-alikes.

Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick:
Oh yes! Don't say anything about that dear, sweet, precious Vicky! That plot-faced child bride and her electric hips!

Susan Evers:
Do you want to know Father? And I'm just dying to know Mother. It might be so scary that we just might be able to pull it off.

Sharon McKendrick:
Pull what off?

Susan Evers:
Switch places!

Sharon McKendrick:
Switch?

Susan Evers:
We can do it. We're twins, aren't we? Oh, I'm just dying to know Mother! Look, now I'M getting goosebumps!

Sharon McKendrick:
Me, too. You know something? There's more to it than just switching places. I believe fate brought us together.

Susan Evers:
How so?

Sharon McKendrick:
If we switched, sooner or later, they'd have to unswitch us.

Susan Evers:
Mother would have to bring me to California to unmix us.

Sharon McKendrick:
And they'd have to meet again.

Susan Evers:
Face-to-face. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Sharon McKendrick:
Exactly.

Susan Evers:
Let's get to work!

Verbena 'Ever's Housekeeper':
You didn't know what a good thing you had when you had it.

Mitch Evers:
Huh?

Susan Evers:
Do? What in heaven's sake can I do, silly?

Ursala, Camp Inch roomate:
I know! We'll wait until she comes over here and when she's not looking we'll dump ants down her dress!

Ursala, Camp Inch roomate:
Ooo, just thinking about it makes me so mad I could just spit!

Mitch Evers:
Would you mind putting on something decent?

Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick:
I'm dressed perfectly decent.

Mitch Evers:
Yeah, running around in my bathrobe. The priest could come in here any minute, it looks like we just...

Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick:
Like we what?

Mitch Evers:
Just go upstairs and put on some clothes!

Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick:
Don't you take that tone with me Mitch. I lambed you once!

Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick:
Now stand back.

Mitch Evers:
Oh Maggie, come on...

Mitch Evers:
Ow!

Mitch Evers:
Why do you have to get so physical?

Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick:
Oh, stop being such a big baby. Let me take a look at it.

Margaret 'Maggie' McKendrick:
You're acting worst than the twins.