Pawn Shop Chronicles

Raw Dog:
I understand why we're supposed to hate n*ggers. Okay? They look different, they walk different, they talk different. I get it, okay. But Jews, man... why are we supposed to hate the Jews? I just found out Jerry Springer was a Jew. Jerry F***ing Springer, man. If I seen him in the street, I would kiss his ass and ask him for an autograph. I got three Adam Sandler DVDs at home, and I just found out he's a Jew too. If I was in a building and ten Jews sit down next to me, I wouldn't even know it. So what's the difference? They got money? Well, money ain't so bad. Sh*t, I wish I had some money. They got big noses? At least they're supposed to. Damn Teddy's got a nose that's bigger than this whole damn truck, and he ain't Jewish. So what, are we supposed to hate him? For crying out loud. Jesus is a Jew, man. I mean, we're talking Jesus. We go to church every Sunday, and we pray to the king of the Jews, man.

Alton:
You calling me a racist?

Johnson:
Well, you don't like black Santa Claus. And last week, you told me you don't like black porno.

Alton:
Now hang on a damn minute. Now that's got nothing to do with racism. I like black chicks in porno movies. I just don't like 'em with the black guys in them, that's all.

Johnson:
Why come? They make you feel inadequate?

Alton:
No. Because their d*cks are so dark. They get to f***ing, their d*cks get wet, they get glisteny and sh*t, and it's hard for my eyes to unfocus off it. Make me sick.

Johnson:
Eh, well, I guess you got a point.