Penn & Teller: Fool Us

Penn Jillette:
I was kind of, ah, flying more solo than I usually am on this; I get much less help from Teller 'cause all Teller wanted to talk about is how much he liked rubbing against you, which I didn't get to do that. so, I was, ah...

Herself - Mentalist:
I held you hands.

Penn Jillette:
I know you held my hand; I wanted to rub your ass.

Herself - Mentalist:
Lay it on me, buddy.

Himself - Magician:
DelMarlo, you'll notice in this, ah, trick, that many of the things I say have more than one meaning, like guinea pig. Ah, do you know anything about the other kind of guinea pigs? The little fury pets? Do you know what they eat?

DelMarlo (audience member):
Pet food.

Himself - Presenter:
Welcome to a new season of 'Penn & Teller: Fool Us'; a show where when someone is flipping the bird, it usually just means a dove. But this season I've been asked to adjust my language to be a little less British, and I get it; when I say 'lift', I know you all say 'elevator', here you say 'trash can' while I would say 'ribbish bin'; you say 'dentist' and, well, we really don't have a word for that.

Penn Jillette:
Now, before we go any further I'd like to re-assure you that we mean no disrespect toward this flag. Teller and I are proud Americans; we consider ourselves to be patriotic. We got a little more patriotic fifteen years ago when we spent time in Egypt, China and India, because nothing can make you love the U.S.A. more than overseas travel.

Jonathan Ross:
Welcoem to Penn & Teller Fool Us - hte only network show that doesn't ask you to beleive in witches, dragons, wizards, or all that other cool stuff in Tom Cruise's religion.