Pepper Ann

Nicky Little:
I have been trying to play the Realto since I was pre-natal! Now Pepper Ann learns one stupid little ditty and they're begging her to play there?

Pepper Ann Pearson:
What the Fuzzy? (common line)

Operator:
We're sorry, but the phone you are currently using is a mirage. Please hang up and try again later... on a real phone.

Nicky Little:
I f... f... failed. There, I said it! The F-WORD!

Pepper Ann:
You're not Aunt Janie at all, are you! Off with the wig, Dieter!

Grandman Pearson:
What does that girl know from talent? Now Lydia here, she had talent. She could do a sea cow impression so good, I swear you'd wanna set her free in the ocean. Now that's talent.

Grandman Pearson:
What, are you too old to kiss your grandma? I used to wipe your tushie!

Dieter Leiderhosen:
Turn me off, turn me on, I am a lamp!

Nicky Little:
For the last time, Pepper Ann, Paul from the Wonder Years is not Marilyn Manson.

Milo Kamalani:
Denial is not just a town in Iowa.

Milo Kamalani:
With the exception of sporting events and bachelor parties, we basically bottle up our feelings until we die.

Pepper Ann Pearson:
Valentine's Day is for pottyheads.

Pepper Ann Pearson:
Where did you get that hat? 'Cause that is definitely the hat of a champion!

Milo Kamalani:
I found it in the garbage.

Pepper Ann Pearson:
And I waste my time shopping.

Pepper Ann:
Well, if you won't stand up for our soccer program, then I'm left with no other choice but to...

Principal Hickey:
Cross stitch? Throw horseshoes? Jump up, jump up and get down?

[Lydia has quit her job]

Margaret Rose 'Moose' Pearson:
Are we going to starve?

Lydia Pearson:
Oh of course not sweetie.

Margaret Rose 'Moose' Pearson:
I can grow beans.

Stewart:
And THAT'S why people call him Spoonie Joe!

Pepper Ann:
[singing one of her original pieces] Boy! I love you boy! You ain't no toy...

Pepper Ann Pearson:
[while hiking without a compass] It's the same squirrel. THE SAME SQUIRREL!

Pepper Ann Pearson:
Hey, Trinket! Remember when we were in the 3rd grade and I asked you for gum and you said, "Sure," and I said, "Thanks!"

Toy Swan:
Swanie wants to plaaaaaay.

Milo Kamalani:
Single parents rarely stay single. Why do you think they invented happy hour?

Pepper Ann Pearson:
[Milo is going from house to house on Thanksgiving] I refuse to be a part of your hobo holiday!

Milo Kamalani:
[after seeing Craig, who has just shaved his head] I've been struck blind by the horrific sight of him.

Pepper Ann Pearson:
I'm a pretty loaty floaty, flip fly amige totey!

Bob:
I'm sorry, Pepper Ann, all I really know is that my father was British, and my mother's side of the family originally came from Spain.

Pepper Ann:
And you don't have any clues beyond that?

Bob:
Now wait a second, there is something. My mother gave it to me, it was passed down on her side of the family from your great-great grandma, who was a Navajo. I never knew much about her, all I know is I'm 1/8th Navajo, so I guess that makes you 1/16th American Indian, Pepper Ann.

Pepper Ann:
You mean I'm a real life Indian? Cool!

Moose:
Peppy, this book doesn't say anything about Navajos using war drums.

Pepper Ann:
Just keep banging or it's back in the cradle board with you.

Dieter:
The Lederhosen lineage is descended from the Bavarian royalty. You might say we are the Bavarian cream of the crop!

Pepper Ann:
What happened? I thought I was just learning about my background.

Moose:
That's just it, Peppy, you weren't interested in learning anything, they barely got to talk.

Nicky Little:
For my presentation, I will be tracing the religious struggles of the Little family in Britain, from the early stages of Calvinism, through their pilgrimage to the new world in the mid-18th century.

Pepper Ann:
Check it out! I'm an Indian! Whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo!

Pepper Ann:
It's all set. Mom helped me track down some real live Navajos right here in Hazelnut, they're coming over tonight to help me with my report.

Milo Kamalani:
Ask them about their art and craft techniques, P.A. Navajo weaving is totally legendary.

Nicky Little:
The contributions of all American Indian tribes to our national culture have been long overlooked.

Pepper Ann:
Oh, I totally know what you mean. Where would the Lone Ranger have been without Tonto?

Nicky Little:
Uh, Pepper Ann, while your enthusiasm is commendable...

Milo Kamalani:
Maybe we should help you out with your research.

Nicky Little:
Maybe shmaybe! This girl needs help more than the Donner party needed a compass and a hot pizza!

Milo Kamalani:
[researching Navajos on the computer] P.A. check this, the Navajo language is way complex.

Nicky Little:
And precise, there are over 30 ways to say the word 'wind' in Navajo.

Pepper Ann:
[playing computer game] After you knock the cavalry guys off their horses, you can press CTRL, ALT, T to tomahawk them. [Indian whoop]

Nicky Little:
The Navajo people place incredible importance on their children.

Milo Kamalani:
Newborn babies are welcomed into the tribe with this cool blessing ritual called the H?zh?oj?.

Pepper Ann:
[watches a motorist litter, eyes water] Why does the pale ones disrespect our good earth so?

Nicky Little:
[fed up with Pepper Ann's ignorance about the Navajos] Pepper Ann, you are basing all of this on STEREOTYPES!

Milo Kamalani:
She's right, P.A., just because I'm Hawaiian you don't see me walking around in a grass skirt doing the hula... at least... not often.

Lydia:
[preparing a Thanksgiving dinner] Are you sure they're going to want to eat all this food? I mean it is only September.

Pepper Ann:
Mom, haven't you seen the pictures of the first Thanksgiving? This is the authentic food of my people.

Lydia:
But Peppie, the American Indians who participated in the first Thanksgiving were Algonquins, not Navajos.

Pepper Ann:
[meeting the Navajo family] How! Now don't tell me, you must be something like Taming Bear, or He Who Shoots Arrow With Big Bow. Am I close?

Dave:
Well I'm Dave, this is my mom and dad, Carol and Bob, and the quiet one in the back is my grandfather, Andy.

Bob:
You know, not all American Indians have American Indian names, just like not all Italian Americans are named Vinny or Vito.

Pepper Ann:
Come on in, my tepee is your tepee.

Bob:
Uh, actually, the traditional Navajo dwelling is called a hogan, and it's buil- [Pepper Ann takes off whooping]

Carol:
Pepper Ann, your braided hair looks like it might be Lakoda, Navajo men and women traditionally wear their hair twisted into a chongo, a figure-8 shape...

Pepper Ann:
Yeah, I was going for a kind of Pocahontas thing, but it kind of turned into more of a Sporty Spice...

Bob:
Pepper Ann, I think you need to understan...

Lydia:
Who wants corn on the cob?

Pepper Ann:
Please excuse my paleface mother, she means maize.

Lydia:
Uh... sure has been hot lately. Hot... and... dry.

Pepper Ann:
Now you're talking! Who's up for a little rain dance? [dances around whooping]

Bob:
Enough! Do you have any idea how offensive this is to our culture? I thought you invited us here to learn about being Navajo.

Pepper Ann:
Totally. I want to learn how to sneak up on people without them hearing, how to give gifts and then take them right back again. All that good stuff.

Bob:
Everyone, the car, NOW!

Andy:
There are over 300 federally recognized American Indian tribes in North America, and each one has its own distinctive culture and heritage. The name Navajo was given to our people by the Spanish missionaries, we called ourselves "Dene", the old Navajo land the Dinetah stretched from what is now Colorado through New Mexico and into Arizona. It is believed that the earliest Dene may have migrated to this land from the north over 1200 years ago.

Pepper Ann:
[reading her report in school] And then in WWII, the Navajo language was used as a code for the U.S. Navy in the South Pacific, and was never broken. Today the Navajo nation is one of the largest American Indian tribes in the United States, and I'm proud that my heritage includes a people who are some of the original ingredients to our great American Melting Pot.