Peter Pan

Wendy:
But, Peter, how do we get to Never Land?

Peter Pan:
Fly, of course.

Wendy:
Fly?

Peter Pan:
It's easy! All you have to do is to... is to... is to... Ha! That's funny.

Wendy:
What's the matter? Don't you know?

Peter Pan:
Oh, sure. It's... It's just that I never thought about it before. Say, that's it! You think of a wonderful thought.

Wendy:
He can fly!

John:
He can fly!

Michael:
He flewed!

Peter Pan:
Now you try.

Wendy:
I'll think of a mermaid lagoon, underneath a magic moon.

John:
I'll think I'm in a pirate's cave.

Michael:
I think I'll be an Indian brave.

Peter Pan:
Now everybody try.

Wendy:

Michael:

Wendy:

Michael:
We can fly! We can fly! We can fly!

Peter Pan:
This won't do. What's the matter with you? All it takes is faith and trust. Oh! And something I forgot. Dust!

Wendy:

Michael:
Dust?

Peter Pan:
Yep, just a little bit of pixie dust. Now, think of the happiest things. It's the same as having wings.

Peter Pan:
Second star to the right and straight on till morning.

Peter Pan:
I say, Captain, do you hear something?

Mr. Smee:
But, Captain, wouldn't it be more humane-like to slit his throat?

Captain Hook:
Aye, that it would, Mr Smee. But I have given me word not to lay a finger, or a hook, on Peter Pan. And Captain Hook never breaks a promise.

Peter Pan:
Tinkle Bell! I hereby banish you forever.

Wendy:
Please, not forever.

Peter Pan:
Well, for a week then.

Mr. Starkey:
No splash, Captain.

Captain Hook:
So, you want a splash, Mr Starkey? I'll give you a splash!

Captain Hook:
Who's next?

Peter Pan:
You're next, Hook! This time you've gone too far!

Peter Pan:
What a pity, Mr Smee. I'm afraid we've lost the dear Captain.

Peter Pan:
Well, well, a codfish on a hook.

Captain Hook:
I'll get you for this, Pan, if it's the last thing I do!

Captain Hook:
Fly! Fly! Fly! You coward!

Peter Pan:
Coward! Me?

Captain Hook:
Ha-ha-ha! You wouldn't dare fight old Hook man-to-man. You'd fly away like a cowardly sparrow!

Peter Pan:
Nobody calls Pan a coward and lives! I'll fight you man-to-man, with one hand behind my back.

Captain Hook:
You mean you won't fly?

Wendy:
No, don't, Peter! It's a trick!

Peter Pan:
I give my word, Hook.

Captain Hook:
Good, then let's have at it!

Narrator:
All of this has happened before, and it will all happen again.

Mary:
But, George, do you think the children will be safe without Nana?

George:
Safe? Of course they'll be safe. Why not?

Mary:
Well, Wendy said something about a shadow, and I...

George:
Shadow? Whose shadow?

Mary:
Peter Pan's.

George:
Oh, Peter Pan...Peter Pan?! You don't say! [high, mocking voice] Goodness gracious! Whatever shall we do?!

Mary:
But, George...

George:
[normal voice] Sound the alarm!

Mary:
Really, I...

George:
Call Scotland Yard!

Wendy:
I'm so glad you came back tonight. I might never have seen you.

Peter:
Why?

Wendy:
Because I have to grow up tomorrow.

Peter:
Grow up?!

Wendy:
Tonight's my last night in the nursery.

Peter:
But that means no more stories!

Wendy:
Mm-hmm.

Peter:
No! I won't have it! Come on!

Smee:
Oh, dear, dear, dear, Captain Hook. Shooting a man in the middle of his cadenza? That ain't good form, you know.

Hook:
"Good form," Mr. Smee? Blast good form! [waves his hook in front of Smee] Did Pan show good form when he did this to me?!

Smee:
Why, Captain, cutting your hand off was only a childish prank, you might say.

Hook:
Aye! But throwing it to that crocodile! That cursed beast liked the taste of me so well he's followed me ever since, licking his chops for the rest of me.

Indian Chief:
For many moons red man fight paleface Lost Boys.

Lost Boys:
Ugh!

Chief:
Sometime you win, sometime we win.

Cubby:
Okay, Chief. Uh, you win this time. Now turn us loose.

John Darling:
Turn us loose? You mean this is only a game?

Slightly:
Sure. When we win we turn them loose.

Twin #1:
When they win, they turn us loose.

Twin #2:
They turn us loose.

Chief:
This time no turnum loose.

Lost Boys:
Huh?

Slightly:
The chief's a great spoofer.

Chief:
Me no spoofum! Where you hide Princess Tiger Lily?!

Cubby:
Tiger Lily?

Slightly:
We ain't got your ol' princess!

John:
I've certainly never seen her.

[the other boys agree]

Chief:
Heap big lie. If Tiger Lily not back by sunset, burnum at stake!

Smee:
Well, at last, Captain Hook's comin' to his senses.

Hook:
[surprised] Odd's fish!

Smee:
[to Tiger Lily] I told him all along you Indians wouldn't betray Peter Pan.

Hook:
[kindly] And just what do you think you are doing, Mr. Smee?

[he stops the rowboat from moving by placing his foot on it]

Smee:
Just what you told me, Captain: carrying out your orders.

Hook:
My orders?

Smee:
Why, yes, Captain. Didn't you just say to go...

Hook:
[shoves the boat back into Skull Rock] Put her back, you blithering idiot! [to himself] My orders. Of all the bumbling...

Peter:
[impersonates Hook] Mr. Smee! Just exactly what do you think you are doing?

Smee:
Putting her back like you said, Captain.

Peter:
I said nothing of the sort!

Smee:
[stammers] But captain...!

Peter:
[whilst the real Hook creeps up to him unbeknownst] For the last time, Mr. Smee, take the princess back to her people! UNDERSTAND!? [echoes]

Smee:
Aye-aye, sir.

Peter:
Oh, and one more thing: When you return to the ship, tell the whole crew to help themselves to me best rum.

[Wendy has walked the plank, and Peter saves her, unbeknownst to Hook and his pirates]

Mr. Starkey:
No splash, Captain.

Hook:
So, you want a splash, Mr. Starkey? I'll give you a splash! [throws Starkey overboard] Who's next?!

Peter:
You're next, Hook! This time you've gone too far!

Hook:
You wouldn't do old Hook in now, would you, lad? I'll go away forever. [cries] I'll do anything you say!

Peter:
Well, all right. If ya... Say you're a codfish.

Hook:
[gulp] I'm a codfish.

Peter:
Louder!

Hook:
I'M A CODFISH!!!

Wendy and the boys:
HOORAY! [all sing] Hook is a codfish!

A codfish.

A codfish.

Hook is a codfish!

A codfish.

A codfish.

Peter:
All right, Hook. You're free to go and never return.

Captain Hook:
[to Tinkerbell] Captain Hook gives his word not to lay a finger, or a hook, on Peter Pan.

The Narrator:
All this has happened before, and it will all happen again. But this time, it happened in London. It happened on a quiet street in Bloomsbury. That corner house over there is the home of the Darling family. And Peter Pan chose this particular house, because there were people here who believed in him. There was Mrs. Darling. Mrs. Darling believed that Peter Pan was the spirit of youth. But Mr. Darling... Well, Mr. Darling was a practical man. The boys, however, John and Michael, believed Peter Pan was a real person, and made him the hero of all their nursery games. Wendy, the eldest, not only believed. She was the supreme authority on Peter Pan and all his marvelous adventures. Nana, the nursemaid, being a dog, kept her opinions to herself, and viewed the whole affair with a certain tolerance.