Phat Girlz

Jazmin Biltmore:
I hate skinny b*tches.

Jazmin Biltmore:
Holy god, I'm as fat as Jesus' wife Lereznonda!

Dr. Tunde:
I din't know they made such beautiful bodies here in America!

Mia:
I'm really a world reknowned aerobics instructor.

Dr. Tunde:
[pointing at Jazmin] Actually, I was talking about your beautiful plump friend here.

Jazmin Biltmore:
Me!

Dr. Tunde:
Yes, her!

Stacey:
[to Mia] Close your mouth child! Flies might get in.

Nigerian Door Woman:
[Poking at Mia] Sister, where is your meat?

Nigerian Door Woman:
We need to fatten you up before you leave here!

Dr. Tunde:
But what about them?

Jazmin Biltmore:
Who?

Dr. Tunde:
Them! [looks at camera]

Jazmin Biltmore:
[turns to camera] Ohh, them. Uhh, for all of you freaky deaky, nasty minded voyeurs [sic] out there

Dr. Tunde:
[interrupts] It's voyeur, it's French

Jazmin Biltmore:
...Okay, them too. Ya'll too. For all of ya'll out there wanting to see Jaz finally get her groove on, [laughs] well this is PG-13. So if you want to see some more freaky deaky, go home and be with the one you love [claps twice, lights go out]

Jazmin Biltmore:
[to clerk at Fatass Burger] You're so ugly, your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory!

Dr. Tunde:
But I would like to ask you one question.

Jazmin Biltmore:
[in her mind] Yes I would like to marry you.

Dr. Tunde:
Why do you refer to yourself as b*tch?

Jazmin Biltmore:
What? Um, it, it's just an expression. American girls, we sometimes use it to refer to ourselves or our friends. It's a term of affection

Dr. Tunde:
Okay, thank you for the explanation... b*tch.

Jazmin Biltmore:
Excuse me?

Jazmin Biltmore:
I am PHATABULOUS!

Jazmin Biltmore:
I ain't fat. I'm sexy succulent.

Chubby Geek:
I hate skinny b*tches.

Jazmin Biltmore:
You took the words right out of my mouth.