Piece of Cake

'Sticky' Stickwell:
I will get double pneumonia

'Uncle' Kellaway:
You're young fit chaps, nonsense!

'Sticky' Stickwell:
I should have listened to my mother, she's always knitting things

'Moggy' Cattermole:
Was that how she made you?

[while flying in the air, retreating from battle]

'Mother' Cox:
Is that you, Moggy?

'Moggy' Cattermole:
Yes, indeed as I live and breathe. You okay?

'Mother' Cox:
I've lost my fingers!

'Moggy' Cattermole:
That's a bit careless, old boy. Have you ever seen Peter Pan?

'Mother' Cox:
What do you mean?

'Moggy' Cattermole:
Well, don't you remember Captain Hook? I mean, he got by. I think they can do anything these days

'Mother' Cox:
Thanks a lot, Moggy!

'Moggy' Cattermole:
How are you going to land?

'Mother' Cox:
I don't know. My mother is going to be furious about this!

Christopher Hart III:
Any action?

'Moggy' Cattermole:
Not here, old boy, It's illegal in this war.

[aerial scene]

'Fanny' Barton:
Red two, where the hell are you going?

'Moggy' Cattermole:
I thought I'd catch last orders... sorry 'Jester' leader.

[Bletchley, Fanny, Uncle and Skull are having a discussion about the shooting down of Red Cross rescue planes]

'Skull' Skelton:
Far be it for me to question Fighter Command's orders.

Air Commodore Bletchley:
But I'm sure you will?

'Skull' Skelton:
Not at all, sir. But if the Luftwaffe has planes that can pinpoint pilots in the channel, why not us?

Air Commodore Bletchley:
We're not supposed to think of everything you know.

'Skull' Skelton:
Ah, sir.

Air Commodore Bletchley:
Does that answer your question?

'Skull' Skelton:
Absolutely, sir.

Air Commodore Bletchley:
Didn't somebody say that war is a nasty business? Quite good for promotion, though.

'Skull' Skelton:
They used to say women and children first.

'Moggy' Cattermole:
Did they? But they can't fly Spitfires, can they?

'Moggy' Cattermole:
[Looking at Spencer, who is climbing into Moggy's Spitfire] Have you got a licence, old boy? This happens to be my kite!

Spencer:
But the C. O. told me...

'Moggy' Cattermole:
Sorry old boy, but I'll need these as well!

[last lines]

'Uncle' Kellaway:
On this day, the 7th of September 1940, the Luftwaffe had launched its biggest ever raid against Britain with nearly one thousand German aircrafts attacking London. The pilots of the Luftwaffe had been told that the Royal Airforce was near breaking point. But the Fighter Command did not break. And this day was the turning-point in the Battle of Britain.

[Steele-Stebbing mentions Eastbourne as a possible landing site for a German invasion]

'Moggy' Cattermole:
Steady on, Amanda, I have several maiden aunts living in Eastbourne!

'Skull' Skelton:
You've never voted? You chaps are the last bastion of democracy, and you've never voted?

'Haddy' Haducek:
And if Hitler wins, you never will!

'Moggy' Cattermole:
[During a discussion on possible landing sites for a German invasion] What's wrong with Hastings? William the Conquorer knew what he was doing!

'Amanda' Steele-Stebbing:
[On hearing one pilot state that the Germans would put Moggy in Wormwood Scrubs if they invaded] Well, they'd certainly get my vote on that!

'Moggy' Cattermole:
Amanda!

'Moggy' Cattermole:
[after the pilots watch footage from the aircraft's gun cameras] Well, plenty of violence, but no sex! Any chance of a Mickey Mouse next time?

'Fanny' Barton:
[as CH3 enters the makeshift office] Well, do you think Rex would approve?

Christopher Hart III:
[Walking towards a shelf near the window while Fanny heads out of shot] Huh! In about 10 minutes, it'll be full of Sheridan furniture and Persian rugs [picks up a jug and fills his mug] and about 3 sporting prints!

'Fanny' Barton:
[Walking back to the desk with a pile of papers] All that seems like 10 years ago! [places the pile of paper on the desk] I can't even remember the taste of Champange!

Christopher Hart III:
[Joining Fanny] Forget it! I just want to sleep for a week!

'Uncle' Kellaway:
[Checking a piece of paper, before looking at the blackboard in front of him] Ashton. Ashton? I can't even fix a name to a face!

'Fanny' Barton:
[From out of shot] From Blackpool, wasn't he?

'Uncle' Kellaway:
[licks his thumb] Well, he won't see Blackpool again. [Slides his wet thumb across Ashton's name on the board, then looks at the paper in his hand, looks up at the board, and licks his thumb again before wiping the name GORDON from the board]

'Fanny' Barton:
Oh Christ, no! Not Flash?

'Uncle' Kellaway:
[Turns around] I'm afraid so. A bit of spit on the blacboard and that's the end of it!

'Uncle' Kellaway:
He was a card, wasn't he, young Flash? I really though he'd get away with it. They say God takes care of drunks and loonies

Christopher Hart III:
Well, he's been working overtime these days.

'Fanny' Barton:
That's for sure. I was starting to think old Flash was bulletproof too!

'Uncle' Kellaway:
I don't know. I hope to Christ this was is going to be worth it!

'Haddy' Haducek:
[Lifts his oil covered goggles] Moggy! I can see again!

'Moggy' Cattermole:
Was it a miracle?

'Haddy' Haducek:
It was the bloody goggles!

'Moggy' Cattermole:
[Under his breath] Bloody peasant!

'Skull' Skelton:
You're quite a psychologist aren't you, Uncle? A philosopher, even. A sage of the skies.

'Uncle' Kellaway:
[Walking around Skull] You do talk a lot of tosh, don't you, old man!

Squadron Leader Rex:
We mustn't upset the locals. They have enough problems being French.

Squadron Leader Rex:
The French think they invented flying, wine, and sex. A quick course in aircraft recognition might come in handy. They have some very strange aeroplanes. No matter how tempting they may be, please, please, don't shoot them down. They're on our side. As for wine, the French are appalling alcoholics. If somebody offers you a drink, take it. You'll be doing them a favor. Sex? The ladies are staggeringly attractive. You are officers and gentlemen. If you must fornicate, at least take off your shoes and socks.

'Pip' Patterson:
Are we going to have you for the rest of the war?

'Skull' Skelton:
Unless I get a better offer from Goering, old boy.

Air Commodore Bletchley:
No questions?

'Moggy' Cattermole:
Who's going to win the gold cup, sir?

Air Commodore Bletchley:
Not bloody Hitler!

[Flight Lieutenant Marriot is trying to acquire some materials for the repair of the damaged Spitfires]

'Fanny' Barton:
The spares depot is only thirty miles from here

'Micky' Marriott:
I've tried. "No form, no spares". We need a bloody form to get a form.

'Moggy' Cattermole:
[Squadron Song] Our name is Hornet Squadron, no bloody good are we. We cannot shoot, we can not fight, nor march like infantry. But when it comes to pay parade, we shout with all our might: Per Ardua ad Astra, Up yours Jack we're alright.

'Flash' Gordon:
Bomber Command have dropped leaflets on Hamburg and Bremmen

'Sticky' Stickwell:
They should drop Moggy

'Sticky' Stickwell:
Damn good show, Fanny!

'Fanny' Barton:
I think we recruited ourselves rather well!

'Pip' Patterson:
You got the first kill! Do you realise that? HORNET got the first kill!