Pinky and the Brain

The Brain:
This is the earth. And this is Pinky. You can tell the difference quite easily. One is a lump of inert matter hurtling blindly through the void. The other... is the earth.

The Brain:
So, you sacked the cocky khaki Kicky Sack sock plucker?

Mr. Sackett:
The second cocky khaki Kicky Sack sock plucker I've sacked since the sixth sitting sheet slitter got sick.

The Brain:
We're going to a place where the sun never sets, the size of your wallet matters, and actors and actresses slave all day.

Pinky:
We're going to Denny's?

The Brain:
Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Pinky:
I think so Brain, but if you replace the P with an O, my name would be Oinky, wouldn't it?

The Brain:
Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Pinky:
I think so Brain... but do I really need 2 tongues?

The Brain:
Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Pinky:
I think so, Brain, but this time, you put the trousers on the chimp.

The Brain:
Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Pinky:
I think so, Brain, but if they called them "sad meals" no one would buy them.

The Brain:
Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Pinky:
I think so, Brain, but then it'd be Snow White and the Seven Samurai...

The Brain:
Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Pinky:
I think so, Brain, but how are we going to make pencils that taste like bacon? Or maybe we should make bacon that tastes like pencils. Narf.

Pinky:
Narf!

The Brain:
Yes, finally! The Happy Sappy Children of Many Lands ride! Where cheering music will spread the message that a mouse should rule the world!

Pinky:
Oh no, Brain. Narf! You're thinking of that other park in Orlando.

[repeated line]

The Brain:
YES!

The Brain:
Are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Pinky:
I think so Brain, but burlap chafes me so.

The Brain:
Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Pinky:
I think so, but where will we find an open tattoo parlor at this time of night?

The Brain:
Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Pinky:
I think so Brain, but Zero Mostel times anything will still give you Zero Mostel.

The Brain:
Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Pinky:
I think so, Brain, but how will we get the Spice Girls into the paella?

The Brain:
Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Pinky:
I think so Brain, but... Kevin Costner with an English accent? I dunno.

The Brain:
Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Pinky:
Well, I think so Brain, but balancing a family, and a career? Ooh, it's all too much for me.

The Brain:
Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Pinky:
Well, I think so Brain, but isn't Regis Philbin already married?

The Brain:
Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Pinky:
Well, I think so Brain, but if we didn't have ears, we'd look like weasels.

The Brain:
Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Pinky:
I think so Brain, but pants with horizontal stripes make me look chubby.

The Brain:
Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Pinky:
I think so Brain, but why would anyone want a depressed tounge?

The Brain:
Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Pinky:
Um... I think so, Brain, but what if the chicken won't wear the nylons?

Pinky:
Egad. You astound me, Brain.

The Brain:
That's a simple task, Pinky.

The Brain:
Are you pondering what I'm pondering, Pinky?

Pinky:
Wha, I think so Brain, but - *snort* No, no, it's too stupid.

The Brain:
We will disguise ourselves as a cow.

Pinky:
Narf. That was it *exactly*.

The Brain:
Moo. We are a cow. Take us to China.

The Brain:
Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Pinky:
I think so Brain, but if Jimmy cracked corn, and no one cares, why does he keep doing it?

Pinky:
Gee, Brain. What are we going to do tonight?

The Brain:
The same thing we do every night, Pinky. Try to take over the world.

The Brain:
Quiet Pinky, I'm getting ready for tomorrow night.

Pinky:
Why? What are we going to do tomorrow night?

The Brain:
[Irritated] Guess!

Pinky:
Oh, try to take over the world, right.

Pinky:
What are we going to do tonight, Brain?

The Brain:
Same thing we do every night, Pinky. Try to ditch Dudley Boore!

[Pinky's film about World Domination is ruined]

The Brain:
Come, Pinky, we must prepare for tomorrow night.

Pinky:
Why? What are we going to do tomorrow night.

The Brain:
Same thing we do every night, Pinky. Try to take

[the film slows down and rips apart]

Singers:
They're Dinky, They're Pinky and the Brain Brain Brain Brain Brain.

The Brain:
Behold, I can create fire from a little box.

Alan:
So what?

Cannibal #1:
Big deal.

Cannibal #2:
Let's eat 'em.

The Brain:
I can steal your souls and put them in this glass.

Alan:
So what?

Cannibal #1:
Big deal.

Cannibal #2:
Let's eat 'em.

Pinky:
I can make bubbles with my spit.

[the cannibals gasp and begin to bow]

The Brain:
*Now* do you believe we were sent by your god?

Alan:
Naw, that's just *really cool*.

The Brain:
Are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Pinky:
Woof, oh, I'd have to say the odds of that are terribly slim, Brain.

The Brain:
True.

Pinky:
I mean, really, when have I ever been pondering what you've been pondering?

The Brain:
To my knowledge, never.

Pinky:
Exactly. So, what are the chances that this time, I'm pondering what you're pondering?

The Brain:
Next to nil.

Pinky:
Well, that's exactly what I'm thinking, too.

The Brain:
Therefore, you ARE pondering what I'm pondering.

Pinky:
Poit, I guess I am.

The Brain:
Are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Pinky:
I think so, Brain, but we're already naked.

The Brain:
Are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Pinky:
I think so, Brain, but if we get "Sam spayed," we'll never have any puppies.

The Brain:
Are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Pinky:
Uh, I think so, Brain, but balancing a family and a career... oooh, it's all too much for me.

The Brain:
Are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Pinky:
I think so, Brain, but me and Pippi Longstocking... I mean, what would the children look like?

The Brain:
Are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Pinky:
Uh... yeah, Brain, but where will we get rubber pants our size?

The Brain:
Are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Pinky:
Well, I think so, Brain, but if Jimmy cracks corn, and no one cares, why does he keep doing it?

The Brain:
Are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Pinky:
Well, I think so, Brain, but I can't memorize a whole opera in Yiddish.

The Brain:
Are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Pinky:
I think so Brain, but the Rockettes, it's mostly girls, isn't it?

The Brain:
Are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Pinky:
I think so, Brain, but how will we get a pair of Abe Vigoda's pants?

The Brain:
Are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Pinky:
I think so, Brain, but can the Gummi Worms really live in peace with the Marshmallow Chicks?

The Brain:
Are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Pinky:
Wuh, I think so, Brain, but wouldn't anything lose its flavor on the bedpost overnight?

The Brain:
Are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Pinky:
I think so, Brain, but if the plural of mouse is mice, wouldn't the plural of spouse be spice?

The Brain:
Are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Pinky:
Yes Brain, but if our knees bent the other way, how would we ride a bicycle?

The Brain:
So many levels... [drools] ahhhhh...

Pinky:
Just say "poit".

The Brain:
Whenever I say "poit" Pinky, we will be on Mars.

Pinky:
What planet is this?

The Brain:
Pinky, are you pondering what... you know.

Pinky:
I think so, but... uh... something about a duck.

[the Brain's shrinking chant]

The Brain:
Charlie Sheen, Ben Vereen, shrink to the size of a lima bean.

Big Jake:
And they say them UFO things are just pie plates... well, they ARE pie plates. ALIEN pie plates...

The Brain:
Tomorrow night, Pinky, we will come up with a new plan. One that isn't foiled by the atomic weight of gold.

The Brain:
Hi, I'm Bubba Beau Bob Brain.

The Brain:
Are there any questions?

Pinky:
Oh, Oh, pick me, Brain.

The Brain:
GENERAL Brain.

Pinky:
Yes, um, what is the password?

The Brain:
I can't tell you. If you were to be captured you might give it away.

Pinky:
What, me? Never, no, Narf, never.

The Brain:
And if you were tortured?

Pinky:
Oh, well that's different then, isn't it?

[the Brain has made a list of the 5 things needed to be a country singer]

The Brain:
Read the list to me, Pinky.

Pinky:
Okay. "Cowboy clothes."

The Brain:
Check.

Pinky:
Southern accent.

The Brain:
Check, Y'all.

Pinky:
Very good, Brain. "Working-class values."

The Brain:
I like beef jerky and the comedy stylings of Gallagher. Check.

Pinky:
A name consisting of no less than three words.

The Brain:
Just call me Bubba Bo Bob Brain. Check.

Pinky:
A height of at least six feet.

The Brain:
Che... Drats.

The Brain:
I'd like to thank all the little people I stepped on to get where I am today.

The Brain:
We must head to a place where overweight, middle-aged people go to party and throw away money.

Pinky:
Capitol Hill?

The Brain:
I will accept nothing less than mahogany.

Pinky:
There is no substitute for Diana Ross.

The Brain:
The entire world will beg to bow before me, their charismatic despot.

The Brain:
No, Pinky. Never use two drops of the formula. It would cause a reaction on the molecular level that is completely unpredictable.

Pinky:
Oh, I hate it when that happens. Narf.

The Brain:
Now throw the switch and let us begin the battle for the planet.

The Brain:
Enough. If this is what passes for conduct becoming of world leaders, I don't want any part of it.

The Brain:
Sigmund Freud would have had a field day with you, Pinky.

Pinky:
Ah, he liked sports then, did he?

The Brain:
Do you practice being dim or is it a natural talent?

Pinky:
Oh practice Brain. All day, EVERYDAY!

The Brain:
Pinky, there are times when I feel I'm bearing my soul to a tube of caulk.

Pinky:
Mmm! Caulk!

The Brain:
...And yet I continue.

The Brain:
Pinky, you give a whole new meaning to the phrase, "counter-intelligence." You have the I.Q. of plaster.

The Brain:
Hurry up, Pinky, If we don't get to Carley Simon's house I'll never know if that song was about me.

The Brain:
...that excites the masses.

Pinky:
Newspapers? Religious tracts? The Victoria's Secret catalogue?

Dolly Parton:
I'm your biggest fan, what do ya say to that?

The Brain:
I'd say puberty was inordinately kind to you.

[theme song]

Singers:
They're Pinky and the Brain / Yes, Pinky and the Brain / One is a genius, the other's insane / They're laboratory mice, their genes have been spliced / They're Pinky, they're Pinky and the Brain brain brain brain, brain brain brain brain / Before each night is done, their plan will be unfurled / By the dawning of the sun, they'll take over the world! / They're Pinky and the Brain / Yes, Pinky and the Brain / Their twilight campaign is easy to explain: / To prove their mousy worth, they'll overthrow the earth / They're dinky, they're Pinky and the Brain brain brain brain, brain brain brain brain... Narf!

Jakob:
[repeated throughout episode] That wouldst be idleness

The Brain:
Through meticulous analysis of history / I will find a way to make the people worship me / By studying the conquerors of days gone by, / I'll discover the mistakes that made them go awry.

Pinky:
So that you can make the same mistakes if you just try!

The Brain:
By studying the past so carefully / I won't repeat the same mistakes of history.

Pinky:
You'll never make another mistake, you see / Cause you'll fall asleep from reading all that history!

The Brain:
Pay attention, Pinky! When Cleopatra reigned as Queen / with Roman leaders she was often seen. / But when she had no ruling friend / she found a poison snake to bite her in the end.

Pinky:
A bite down there I really wouldn't recommend!

The Brain:
I won't need world alliances / when I'm commanding everyone's appliances.

Pinky:
Oh no Brain, that would really smart, / to be bitten on the bottom by a Cuisinart!

The Brain:
Hannibal, our book confirms / tried conquering Italy with pachyderms / Just why he failed, nobody tells / but he never could get past the Roman sentinels.

Pinky:
And he couldn't find his weapons in the peanut shells!

The Brain:
An elephant is not required, / if I can use the media to be admired!

Pinky:
The TV viewers you'll delight / unless the network puts your show on Sunday night!

The Brain:
Attila was a mighty Hun / he ransacked Asia Minor just for fun / But when he got to Europe's banks / he was routed by an army of heroic Franks.

Pinky:
[eating a hot dog] I like mine with sauerkraut and mustard, thanks!

The Brain:
Why pillage like a criminal / when I can send out messages subliminal?

Pinky:
Please send a message to that Hun / to see if he can pillage me a hot dog bun! [the Brain hits Pinky]

Pinky:
Zort!

The Brain:
Caligula was no boy scout / He did things that we can't even talk about / The Romans knew he'd lost his head / when he filled a vacant Senate seat with Mister Ed.

Pinky:
What's wrong with being friendly with a thoroughbred? [holds up a picture of Pharfignewton]

The Brain:
Why rule like such a reprobate / when I can put the world in a hypnotic state?

Pinky:
When everybody's in a trance / you can make the people do a chicken dance! [Attila and his horse do a chicken dance]

The Brain:
[grabs Pinky's nose] Pinky, if you don't stop this foolishness, I shall have to hurt you.

Pinky:
[in pain] 'Kay.

The Brain:
In France, Napoleon Bonaparte / thought beating Austria was very smart. / But when he took on England too / he was beaten up by Wellington at Waterloo!

Pinky:
And now he's just a pastry filled with creamy goo!

The Brain:
Why conquer with depravity / I'll win the world by undermining gravity.

Pinky:
And even if your plan falls through / maybe they will name a pastry after you! [holds up a cupcake with Brain's face, which the Brain squashes]

The Brain:
From Ghengis Khan to Charlemagne, / from Alexander down to Tamburlaine, / I find a ruler's tragic flaw / and gain a little wisdom out of each faux pas.

Pinky:
Don't forget the former Governor of Arkansas! [holds up a picture of Bill Clinton]

The Brain:
That concludes my little rhyme / I hope this lesson wasn't just a waste of time.

Pinky:
Well Brain, I've learned that one thing's true / Every one of them has failed, and so have you!

The Brain:
...Thank you for your vote of confidence.

The Brain:
Now come, we must prepare for tomorrow night.

Pinky:
Why, what are we going to do tomorrow night? Sing a song about all the world's cheeses?

The Brain:
No, Pinky, we shall try to take over the world - through meticulous analysis of history!

Pinky:
Aw, but I like the cheese song, Brain...

[Departing for the North Pole]

Pinky:
Right, that would be...

[Beat]

Brain:
North.

Pinky:
NORTH! Right.

Brain:
[reads Pinky's letter] "Dear Santa, hello, haha, narf! This year Santa, I ask for nothing, but I wish to tell you about my dear friend, the Brain. He is honest and very hard working, and only wants what's best for the world. But he gets no reward, he is only greeted with defeat. He never gives up, but I know it must be very hard. So please, take anything that you have for me and give it to my best friend in the whole world, the Brain. Love, Pinky. P.S. By any chance, do you have in that big old bag of yours... the world?" []

Pinky:
[writing letter to Santa] Dear Santa, Hello! Haha! Narf!

Pinky:
Um, Brain, do you really want to take over the world at Christmas time? I mean, remember when you tried to play Santa? [Brain impersonated Santa Claus, and got sat on by a fat boy]

Brain:
Well, it's difficult to rule the world with no air in your lungs.

Pinky:
Oh, and there was that time we marketed ourselves as popular toys? [Pinky and the Brain get crushed by a monster truck]

Brain:
Now that plan...

Pinky:
Was a lot of fun, hahaha! And remember when we traveled back in time to Bethlehem and...

Brain:
Enough! Let us focus on THIS Christmas.

[Brain's Noodle Noggin transmitter activates]

Brain:
Ladies and gentlemen of the world, you will do as I say. For I command you! I command you to... [looks at Pinky, who smiles at him]

Brain:
[breaks down in tears]... Have a merry Christmas, everyone! Have a merry, merry Christmas! Joy to the world! Yes! [destroys his machine]

Brain:
Merry Christmas, Pinky. [gives Pinky a gift]

Pinky:
Aww, Brain, for me!... A spell checker! Oh, thank you, Brain!... Here, Brain. [gives Brain a gift: a keychain of the world]

Brain:
Thank you, Pinky. Merry Christmas.

Pinky:
[hugs Brain] Merry Christmas to you, Brain.

The Brain:
Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Pinky:
I think so brain, but [snorts] , no, no, it's too stupid.

The Brain:
We will disguise ourselves as a cow!

Pinky:
Egad Brain! That's exactly what I was going to say!

Maurice:
Nyert

The Brain:
I haven't created a monster, I've created another Pinky.

The Brain:
Are You Pondering what I'm Pondering Pinky?

Pinky:
I Think so Brain, But if the Plural for mouse is mice why isn't the plural for spouse, spice?

The Brain:
[in a time machine going two billion years into the future] Let me put this in terms even you can understand; remember that sandwich that was behind the refridgerator for two weeks?

Pinky:
Oh, you mean the one that tasted like sauerkraut?

The Brain:
...I'll take your word for it. Anyway, in two billion YEARS, that sandwich would evolve into a life form capable of setting up churro stands on the planets of distant galaxies!

Pinky:
[Brain has just told Pinky of his DNA being present as well] I'm a mommy, I'm a mommy.

The Brain:
Pinky that's absurd. You are nothing of the kind. His chromosones just happen to share both our genetic mater... AAAAAAAAAH! My Lord, you are it's mommy.

Pinky:
Careful, Brain. I sprained a muscle.

The Brain:
You mean the one in your head?

Pinky:
Exactly! It was last week when I had that idea. What was it again? Aaah! I did it again. Zort!

The Brain:
Imagine thousands of mes focused on the same goal.

Pinky:
Doing a one-man show?

The Brain:
No, Pinky. To take over the world!

Pinky:
Egad, Brain! You mean...?

The Brain:
Yes. I'm franchising.

Adult Romy:
Hey, Don McLean. My levee is dry.

Erb:
Aah! He bit me! The circus freak bit me!

Adult Romy:
That's right. Now you're a circus freak! [Erb runs away] Anyone else want circus in their blood? [others run away; only Bunny remains]

Bunny:
I've had my shots.

Pinky:
[on Bunny's appartment] Brain, this place...

The Brain:
Yes. It's like something the Guggenheim threw up.

Pinky:
Then fed to its young.

The Brain:
[while attempting to keep a cloning machine door from flying open] Unh! Pinky! Push Pinky Push!

Pinky:
[groaning to keep it closed] Hoo hoo hee hee! Hoo hoo hee hee!

The Brain:
The same thing we do every night Pinky, try to take over the world!

Pinky:
Ohh, not tonight Brain. I have a headache.

Computer Voice:
File's Done. You've got a male.

The Brain:
[after realizing that Pinky's DNA has corrupted his clone] Be afraid. Be very afraid.

The Brain:
Since it represents the first phase of my plan, we'll call it Roman Numeral One.

Pinky:
Roman Numeral One. Roman... Romy!

Pinky:
Information? Yes, hello. I'd like the number of the La Leche League, please.

The Brain:
What in the name of all that is good and sweet in Odin's beard is that?

The Brain:
Pinky, what rhymes with June?

Pinky:
I'm busy, Brain!

The Brain:
Well, what are you doing?

Pinky:
Oh, just hitting a balloon with a spoon while I croon a tune to this baboon by the light of the moon.

The Brain:
Well, will you be done soon?

Pinky:
Oh, about noon. Why?

The Brain:
What rhymes with June?

Pinky:
[pause] No it doesn't.

The Brain:
Gah, I'll make it April.

The Brain:
[singing] Baboon, spitoon, balloon / Harpoon, typhoon, lagoon / Boon, June, goon, noon, loon, prune, soon...

Singers:
It must be... April!

Singers:
It's the Schadenfreude Polka / The Schadenfreude Polka!

The Brain:
When they fall upon the ground / You just laugh and dance around.

The Brain, Singers:
Dance the Schadenfreude Polka!

The Brain:
This is our position. This is the wreck of the Titanic.

Pinky:
Egad, Brain. It's so close. We'll get there before you can yell "Poit".

The Brain:
We'll reach Mars before I yell "Poit", Pinky.

Pinky:
Narf!

The Brain:
What is narf? Please tell me.

Pinky:
Well, it's like "Zort!", or "Poit!"

The Brain:
Are you pondering what I'm pondering, Pinky?

Pinky:
I think so, Brain, but there's still a bug up here from last time.

Pinky:
Good one, Brain.

The Brain:
They're all good ones, Pinky.

Pinky:
Oh, please, Brain! If we don't do something soon, I'll go out of my mind!

The Brain:
That's a short trip.

[as the submarine is being bombarded]

Pinky:
We'll be all right, won't we, Brain?

The Brain:
[yelling] Poit!

The Brain:
[It's all gone terribly wrong] Poit!

The Brain:
Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Pinky:
I think so Brain, but there's still a bug stuck in here from last time.

The Brain:
From now on Pinky, call me Captain Brain.

Pinky:
Ha ha ha ha ha, Aye aye, Brain - er - Captain Brain! Oh, oh, can I be Queequeg, hm?

The Brain:
Leave, Pinky, or you shall be jettisoned.

The Brain:
W, H, O, I. Do you know what this is?

Pinky:
Wa - hoy... Hmm? A yummy Polynesian dessert?

The Brain:
Your associative powers belie your small cranium, my friend.

The Brain:
I want you to randomly change the signal, so that we are not followed.

Pinky:
Randomly? Gee I don't know Brain.

The Brain:
Trust me Pinky, you excel at random.

Admiral:
Thanks for hurrying over, Jonesy, how are the kids?

Jonesy:
Actually sir, Angela broke both legs and Geoffrey thinks he's a koala.

Admiral:
Fine, fine. Jonesy, at 19:00, satellite composite imaging found an unidentified sub off the coast at Newfoundland. They say it might be some trigger-happy rocket jog with a twenty-meg party crasher out to make the fat lady sing at the ball game.

Jonesy:
Which means?

Admiral:
I don't know. But it sounds really spooky.

Admiral:
The old man is concerned.

Jonesy:
The President?

Admiral:
No, just some old man.

Admiral:
The boys want that thing terminated.

Jonesy:
The boys? You mean the Pentagon?

Admiral:
No, my two boys, Josh and Aaron.

The Brain:
The sea, Pinky. "Roll on, thou deep and dark blue ocean, roll!" Byron.

Pinky:
Good one Brain! Oh, oh, I've got one too! Erm - "Hey you kids, stay out of that riptide!" Baywatch.

The Brain:
Prepare to die, Mr Pinky.

Jack Maguire:
[after looking at the plans from the CIA] So the boys finally saw it my way?

Jonesy:
You mean the Pentagon?

Jack Maguire:
No, Josh and Aaron.

Pinky:
If you could be any animal, what would it be?

The Brain:
Oh, I'd have to say a hawk, Pinky, so I could soar through the sky, catch little white mice in my sharp talons and feed them to my young.

Pinky:
Oooh... That's just weird, Brain.

The Brain:
Hello Jelly Fellow

The Brain:
Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Pinky:
I think so Brain, but why would Peter Bogdanovich?

[brains puffs a cigarette smoke ring]

Pinky:
Ring around the Pinky Brain is really stinky.

The Brain:
Sometimes I think I'd be more productive if my sidekick were a pliant corndog.

[a moment later]

The Brain:
Sometimes I think my sidekick IS a pliant corndog...

The Brain:
Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Pinky:
Well, I think so Brain, but first you'd have to take that whole bridge apart, wouldn't you?

The Brain:
Man has an evil side, Pinky.

Pinky:
Erm... Front, or back?

The Brain:
The dark side.

The Brain:
The dark side that has created grotesque war machines, pollution-spilling factories and now, a hideous thing, that is spreading across the world, like a horrible plague: Voicemail.

Pinky:
[after Brain has said that a well-prepared mouse will be able to take over the world] I see! So, all we need, is a well-prepared mouse.

The Brain:
I am that mouse, Pinky.

Pinky:
Oh - well there you are then. Ha, job well done Brain. Ha ha ha ha, NARF!

The Brain:
Keep it up, Pinky. Donkeytown needs a new Mayor.

The Brain:
From now on, Pinky, whatever anyone asks you, just say "Ja" or "Nein."

The Brain:
[later, beneath the rocket] Did you hear the countdown, Pinky?

Pinky:
Ja!

The Brain:
What number are they down to?

Pinky:
Nein!

The Brain:
Nine?

Pinky:
Ja!

The Brain:
Excellent! Plenty of time. [rocket ignites]

Zalgar:
To the Mothership!

The Brain:
You're a weenie! [Zalgar's eyes widen] Nah-nah-nah-nah-nah! [Brain turns around and walks towards Pinky]

Pinky:
Well done Brain!

The Brain:
Thank you Pinky. Now run! [they sprint away]

Zalgar:
We'll see whose a weenie! Or should I say, a pancake?

Zalgar:
[to one of his pilots] You moved my view screen! [Zalgar picks up the pilot, drops him and gets into the seat] Now *I'll* have to move it!

[Pinky and Brain are flying a spaceship]

Pinky:
Gee Brain, why don't you turn on the radio?

The Brain:
[starts jumping on the controls] You've lost me Pinky. [the large eye on the spaceship closes] Well one of these has to reopen it!

Pinky:
[singing whilst flying a spaceship] I-I-I-I! I'm flying an eye!

The Brain:
Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Pinky:
I think so Brain, but "Snowball for Windows"?

The Brain:
In Italy under the Borgias, they had 30 years of murder, bloodshed and warfare. And they produced indigestible noodles, boring operas and the FIAT. In Switzerland, they had brotherly love, 500 years of democracy and peace, and what did they produce? The Swiss bank account, the best cheese in the world and "Heidi"!

The Brain:
Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Pinky:
Umm, I think so Brain, but what if the chicken won't wear the nylons?

Pinky:
Oh look, Brain. Another mouse just like us. Only curvier.

The Brain:
Pinky, what were you doing up there?

Pinky:
I was having a devil of a time cleaning the chimney.

The Brain:
We don't have a chimney.

Pinky:
Well, there you are then.

The Brain:
No, Pinky, there *you* are. I am absolutely nowhere near that vicinity.

[after both Pinky and the Brain make themselves dumber]

Pinky:
So, what are we doing to do tonight, Brain?

The Brain:
The same thing we do every night, Pinky.

Pinky:
What's that?

The Brain:
I have no idea.

Pinky:
Poit.

The Brain:
Narf.

The Brain:
[after seeing some scientists miniaturize TVs with a ray] This equipment is the perfect thing for my plan to take over the world!

Pinky:
You mean you're gonna shrink electronics so only mice can use them?

The Brain:
Don't be absurd, Pinky. There's no future in miniaturization, it's *big* things that strike the world with terror. Like that ridiculous legend of Gollyzilla that humans hopelessly hang on to. Are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Pinky:
I think so, Brain. But I don't think Kaye Ballard's in the Union.

The Brain:
[just rewired the miniaturization ray to make it into a growth ray] You ready, Pinky?

Pinky:
[Pinky jumps into the center of the room where the ray is pointed, wearing a monster outfit] Raaaaar! Woooooo! Pretty scary, huh, Brain?

The Brain:
[sarcastically] Yes, Pinky. Terrifying. Stand by. [activates the growth ray; seconds later, Pinky is halfway up out of the whole lab; looks around]

Pinky:
Where are you, Brain. I can't see you...

The Brain:
I'm down... [Pinky steps on him]

Pinky:
Hold on, Brain. I've got some gum on my shoe. [peels The Brain off his foot and holds him up to his face]

The Brain:
Apparently, your IQ didn't grow along with your shoe size, Pinky.

The Brain:
Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Pinky:
Yes I am.

The Brain:
So you sacked the cocky khaki kicky sack sock plucker?

Mr. Sackett:
The second cocky khaki kicky sack sock plucker I sacked since the sixth sitting sheet slitter got sick!

Brain:
Just act natural.

Cue Pinky's flurry of verbal tics and laughs.

Brain:
Not that natural.

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