Pinocchio

The Blue Fairy:
Now, remember, Pinocchio, be a good boy. And always let your conscience be your guide.

The Blue Fairy:
A lie keeps growing and growing until it's as plain as the nose on your face.

Jiminy Cricket:
What does an actor want with a conscience anyway?

Jiminy Cricket:
You buttered your bread. Now sleep in it!

The Coachman:
Give a bad boy enough rope, and he'll soon make a jackass of himself.

The Blue Fairy:
Little puppet made of pine, wake. The gift of life is thine.

The Blue Fairy:
A boy who won't be good, might just as well be made of wood.

Pinocchio:
Hello Father!

Jiminy Cricket:
[looks at his reflection in a paintpot and turns to Pinocchio] Oh! I almost forgot about you. Well, Pinoke. You and I will need to have a little heart-to-heart talk.

Pinocchio:
Why?

Jiminy:
Well, you wanna be a real boy, don't you?

Pinocchio:
[nods his head] Uh-huh.

Jiminy:
All right. Sit down, son. [Pinocchio drops down on the bench] Now, you see, the world is full of temptations.

Pinocchio:
Temptations?

Jiminy:
Yep, temptations. They're the wrong things that seem right at the time, but, uh.... even though the right things may seem wrong, sometimes, or sometimes, the wrong things [chuckles] may be right at the wrong time, or vice-versa. [clears throat] Understand?

Pinocchio:
[starts to nod, then shakes his head] Uh-uh. [Jiminy handpalms] But I'm gonna do right.

Jiminy:
Attaboy, Pinoke! And I'm gonna help ya. Now if you need me at anytime, just whistle. Like this. [whistles]

Pinocchio:
Like this? [Blows, but no sound comes out]

Jiminy:
No, no, try it again, Pinoke.

Pinocchio:
Like this? [Blows again, but no sound comes out]

Jiminy:
No, son. Now listen. [whistles three times]

Pinocchio:
[blows air three more times and whistles on the third attempt]

Jiminy:
That's it! Come on now, let's sing it!

Pinocchio:
[singing] I got no strings to hold me do... [trips and falls down the stairs and gets his nose stuck in a hole; the audience laugh]

Jiminy:
Go ahead. Make a fool of yourself, then maybe you'll listen to your conscience!

Stromboli:
[squeals angrily and grabs Pinocchio, cursing in Italian, until he realizes the audience is laughing] Cute kid. [speaks in Italian]

[Geppetto has prepared dinner for himself, Figaro, and Cleo, as he paces around the dining room waiting for Pinocchio to come home from school]

Geppetto:
What could have happened to him? Where could he be at this hour? [puts on his hat, coat, and scarf, and then takes a lantern] I'd better go out again, and look for him. [to Figaro and Cleo] And remember, nobody eats a bite, until I find him.

[Meanwhile, Stromboli is counting his money in his wagon while Pinocchio sits on a baguette bread]

Stromboli:
[singing] I got-a no strings but I got-a the brain! I buy a new suit and I swing-a that cane, I eat-a the best and I drink-a champagne! I got-a no strings on-a me! [chuckles heartily] Bravo, Pinocchio!

Pinocchio:
They like me!

Stromboli:
[slides a stack of coins across the table with his machete] Mmmmmm.... 200. You are sensational! [pokes an olive off his table]

Pinocchio:
You mean I'm good?

Stromboli:
[slides another stack] Ah, 300! You are-a COLOSSAL! [chops some bread very close to Pinocchio]

Pinocchio:
Does that mean I'm an actor?

Stromboli:
[bites an onion] Sure! I will push you in the public's eye! Your face, she will-a be on-a everybody's tongue!

Pinocchio:
[sheds tears due to Stromboli's onion breath] Will she?

Stromboli:
Yeah-- Huh? [notices a washer in his stacks of coins] What's-a this?! [he bites down on the washer and angrily curses in Italian until he realizes Pinocchio is listening; he calms down and gives the bent washer to him] For you, my little Pinocchio.

Pinocchio:
For me? Gee, thanks! I'll run right home and tell my father!

Stromboli:
Home? [spits out the wine he was drinking] [coughs] Home? [laughs] Oh, sure! Going-a home-a to your father! [laughs] Oh, that is very comical!

Pinocchio:
You mean it's funny?

Stromboli:
[laughs] Oh, sure! Yes. [Pinocchio joins him in laughing]

Pinocchio:
I'll be back in the morning!

Stromboli:
Be back in the morning...?! [speaks in Italian for a moment] Going home! [Stromboli realizes that Pinocchio is being serious and grabs him while angrily cursing; he realizes Pinocchio is still listening and joins him in laughing until he throws him in a birdcage] There! This will be your home-- [snaps the padlock shut] --where I can find you always!

Pinocchio:
[shakes the birdcage bars] No! No! No!

Stromboli:
Yes! Yes! Yes! To me, you are-a belonging. We will tour-a the world! Paris, London, Monte Carlo, Constantinop-ily!

Pinocchio:
No! No!

Stromboli:
[slams his hand on the table] YES! We start TONIGHT! Mmm... [mutters greedily in Italian as he pours all of his money into a sack] You will make lots of-a money.... [slams the sack into his cummerbund] FOR ME! [picks up an axe] And when you are growing too old, you will make good.... [throws the axe] FIREWOOD! [the axe lands on a broken puppet; Stromboli starts laughing maniacally]

Pinocchio:
[shakes the birdcage bars] Let me outta here! I gotta get out! You can't keep me--!

Stromboli:
QUIET!!! SHUT UP!! Before I KNOCK-A you silly! Goodnight.... [blows a kiss to Pinocchio] ....my little wooden gold mine! [laughs evilly, then walks out and slams the wagon door, blowing out the lantern and making the room completely dark]

Pinocchio:
No! No! Wait! [shakes the birdcage bars] Let me out! [shakes his fist in anger] I'll tell my father!

Stromboli:
[cracks his whip; to his horses] Giddyap! Get along there!

[the wagon starts moving]

Pinocchio:
Jiminy! Oh, Jiminy! [whistles] Oh, Jiminy, where are you? [whistles] Jiminy Cricket!

[there is a thunderclap, then Pinocchio starts sobbing]

Jiminy:
[about Pinocchio] Well, there he goes. Sitting in the lap of luxury with the world at his feet. Oh, well. I can always say that I knew him when I met him. I'll just get out of his life quietly. But I would like to wish him luck, though. Sure. Why not? [enters Stromboli's wagon, and then looks for Pinocchio] Pinocchio? Pinocchio? It's me. Your old friend, Jiminy. Remember?

Pinocchio:
Jiminy! Gee, I'm glad to see you! [sheds a tear]

Jiminy:
Pinocchio! [runs to the birdcage] What's happened? [hops up onto the birdcage] What did he do to you?

Pinocchio:
[explains to Jiminy about Stromboli] Oh, he was mad! He said that he's gonna push my face into everybody's eyes!

Jiminy:
Oh, yeah?!

Pinocchio:
And.... And just because I'm a gold brick, he.... he's gonna chop me into firewood!

Jiminy:
Oh, is that so? [Pinocchio nods] Now, don't you worry, son. I'll have you out of here in no time at all. [climbs into the padlock through the keyhole] Why, this is...this is just as easy as rolling off a.... Whoa! [falls into the padlock] [Pinocchio listens, as Jiminy tries to open the padlock up] [comes out of the padlock, takes his coat and hat off, hangs them both on a screw of the padlock, and then to Pinocchio] Kinda rusty. [Pinocchio watches, as Jiminy continues trying to open the padlock up] Needs more oil! [Jiminy's shouting echoes throughout the insides of the padlock] [to the audience] That's what I said. [continues trying to open the padlock up with his umbrella]

[Pinocchio takes a closer look, as Jiminy pries at the padlock up with his umbrella, loosening the spring in the process; suddenly, the spring breaks off of the padlock, sending Jiminy flying out of the padlock] WHOOOAA!! [Pinocchio watches, as the spring continues flying from the padlock, and then lands straight right into one side of the birdcage]

Jiminy:
[as he hangs onto one side of the birdcage via the broken spring] [chuckles nervously] Must be one of the old models.

Pinocchio:
You mean that you can't open it?

Jiminy:
Yeah. Looks pretty hopeless. [Pinocchio gives him his coat and hat, and then watches him put his coat and hat back on him] It'll take a miracle to get us out of here.

Pinocchio:
Gee.

[Meanwhile, Geppetto searches for Pinocchio out in the streets of the village]

Geppetto:
Pinocchio! Pinocchio!

[Geppetto gets interrupted by Stromboli's wagon approaching]

Stromboli:
[to his horse] Giddyap! [speaks in Italian]

[Geppetto continues searching for Pinocchio through the streets of the village]

Geppetto:
Pinocch--

[thunderclap]

[Geppetto gets interrupted again, this time by a loud thunderclap; he doesn't realize that Pinocchio is inside Stromboli's wagon, and then continues searching for Pinocchio out in the streets of the village, as he goes the opposite direction of Stromboli's wagon]

Jiminy:
A fine conscience I turned out to be.

Pinocchio:
[tearfully] I should've listened to you, Jiminy.

Jiminy:
No, it was my fault. I shouldn't have walked out on you.

Pinocchio:
Guess I'll never see my father again.

Jiminy:
Oh, buck up, son. It couldn't be worse. [starts crying] Be cheerful....LIKE ME!!

Pinocchio:
[sobs as one of his tears lands onto Jiminy's hat until it splashes]

Jiminy:
Oh. Take it easy, son. [gets out a tissue from his shirt, and holds it onto Pinocchio's nose] Come on. Blow.

Pinocchio:
[blows his nose into the tissue]

Jiminy:
Attaboy. [blows his nose into the same tissue] Oh, well. It stopped raining, anyway. [outside Stromboli's wagon window, the clouds cleared up, and revealed the starry night sky, as the wishing star approaches Stromboli's wagon, and then enters Stromboli's wagon] Hey. It's that star again. The lady, the.... the.... Whoa! The fairy! [Pinocchio falls off of the birdcage's perch, as he hops onto another side of the birdcage]

Pinocchio:
[gets up] What'll she say?! What'll I tell her?!

Jiminy:
Um.... Uh.... You might tell her the truth! [hides inside the birdcage's birdfeeder, as Pinocchio hides his head right between his legs like an ostrich]

[the Blue Fairy appears, and then looks around Stromboli's wagon, as Pinocchio watches in amazement]

The Blue Fairy:
Why, Pinocchio.

Pinocchio:
Oh. Hello.

The Blue Fairy:
And Sir Jiminy.

Jiminy:
Well, uh, this is a pleasant surprise. Ha ha!

The Blue Fairy:
Pinocchio, why didn't you go to school?

Pinocchio:
School? Well, I.... [looks up at Jiminy]

Jiminy:
Go ahead. Tell her.

Pinocchio:
I was going to school till I met somebody.

The Blue Fairy:
Met somebody?

Pinocchio:
Yeah, uh.... two big monsters with big, green eyes! [his nose grows a little] Why, I.... I....

The Blue Fairy:
Monsters? Weren't you afraid?

Pinocchio:
No, ma'am, but they tied me in a big sack.

[his nose grows a little more and sprouts leaves]

The Blue Fairy:
You don't say. [Pinocchio nods] And where was Sir Jiminy?

Pinocchio:
Huh? Oh, Jiminy. Um.... Uh....

Jiminy:
[jumps in front of Pinocchio] Psst! Leave me out of this.

Pinocchio:
They put him in a little sack.

[his nose grows even more, taking Jiminy along with it]

Jiminy:
No!

Pinocchio:
Yeah!

[his nose sprouts flowers]

The Blue Fairy:
How did you escape?

Pinocchio:
I didn't. They chopped me into firewood! [his nose grows again, and a nest with baby birds sprouts at the end of it] Oh, look! My nose! What's happened?

The Blue Fairy:
Perhaps you haven't been telling the truth, Pinocchio.

Jiminy:
"Perhaps"?!

Pinocchio:
Oh, but I have. Every single word! [the branch with the nest on his nose withers, and the birds fly away, whistling] Oh, please help me! I'm awful sorry!

The Blue Fairy:
You see, Pinocchio, a lie keeps growing and growing until it's as plain as a nose on your face.

Jiminy:
She's right, Pinoke. You better come clean.

Pinocchio:
I'll never lie again! Honest, I won't!

Jiminy:
[to the Blue Fairy] Please, your honor.... uh.... I mean, Miss Fairy, give him another chance, for mother's sake. Will you? Huh?

The Blue Fairy:
I'll forgive you this once. But remember that a boy, who won't be good, might just as well be made of wood.

Pinocchio and Jiminy:
[in unison] We'll be good, won't we?

The Blue Fairy:
Very well. But this is the last time that I can help you.

[the Blue Fairy touches the birdcage with her magic wand, and then disappears; Pinocchio's nose turns back to normal, and the birdcage door opens, as the padlock magically unlocks while on the birdcage door]

Pinocchio:
Gee, look, Jiminy! My nose!

Jiminy:
Hey! We're free! Come on, Pinoke!

[They sneak out from the back of the wagon while Stromboli is singing]

Stromboli:
[singing] I buy a new suit and I swing-a that cane, I eat-a the best and I drink-a champagne! I got-a no strings on-a me!

Jiminy:
Toodle-oo, Stromboli!

Pinocchio:
[yelling] Goodbye, Mr. Strombo--!

Jiminy:
Shhhh!!!! [whispering] Quiet! Let's get out of here before something else happens. [They rush home to the village]

[At "The Red Lobster Inn", Honest John is telling the Coachman their success at fooling Pinocchio]

Honest John:
[Singing] Hi diddle dee-dee! An actor's life for me! A high silk hat and a silver cane! A watch of gold with a diamond chain! Hi diddle dee-day! An actor's life is gay! It's great to be a celebrity! An actor's life for me! [Laughs] And the dummy fell for it! Hook, line, and sinker! [Gideon takes the ring that he smoked from his cigar and dunks it in his beer like dunking a doughnut in coffee, bites into it, and hiccups] And he still thinks that we're his friends! And did Stromboli pay? Plenty! [He lays a small bag of money on the table and laughs as the Coachman grins wickedly] That shows you how low that Honest John will stoop. Eh, Giddy? [Gideon nods in agreement and hiccups, spilling his beer all over himself] Now, then, uh, Coachman, [takes a smoke from his cigar] What's your proposition?

Coachman:
Well... [He takes a few smokes from his pipe and reaches into his coat pocket] .... How would you blokes like to make some real money? [He drops an even larger bag of money on the table, making the smaller bag jump]

Honest John:
Well! And who do we have to, uh...? [Makes throat-slitting gesture]

Coachman:
No, no! Nothing like that. You see.... [He and Honest John look around the empty bar, whispering] I'm collecting stupid little boys.

Honest John:
Stupid little boys?

Coachman:
You know, the disobedient ones who play hooky from school.

Honest John:
Oh!

Coachman:
And you see... [whispers inaudibly in Honest John's ear. Gideon puts his ear to Honest John's other ear and cleans it out for him, so he can listen as well]

Coachman:
And I takes 'em to Pleasure Island.

Honest John:
Ah, Pleasure Island. [suddenly shocked and horrified] Pleasure Island? But the law! Suppose they...

Coachman:
No, no. There's no risk. They never come back as BOYS!!! [Leans into the camera, red in the face with a huge evil smile, his eyes bugging out of his head, and his powdered wig forming devil horns. Honest John and Gideon cower in fear as he laughs maniacally before pulling them closer] Now, I got a coachload leavin' at midnight tonight. We'll meet at the crossroads. And no double-crossin'!

Honest John:
No, sir.

Coachman:
Scout around. And any good prospects you find, bring 'em to me!

Honest John:
Yes, chief.

Coachman:
I'll pay you well! I've got plenty o' gold!

Honest John:
Yes, yes.

[Pinocchio and Jiminy are walking home after escaping from Stromboli]

Pinocchio:
No, sir. Nothing can stop me now! I'll make good this time!

Jiminy:
You'd better!

Pinocchio:
I will. I'm going to school!

Jiminy:
That's the stuff, Pinoke!

Pinocchio:
I'd rather be smart than be an actor!

Jiminy:
Now, you're talkin'! C'mon, slowpoke! I'll race you home!

[they race back to Geppetto's workshop until Honest John grabs Pinocchio by the back of his loincloth with his cane. Gideon still holds the back of Pinocchio's loincloth with Honest John's cane as Honest John runs in place alongside Pinocchio]

Honest John:
Well, well, Pinocchio! What's your rush?

Pinocchio:
I gotta beat Jiminy home. [tips his hat] Oh, hello.

Honest John:
Well, how was the great actor?

Pinocchio:
I don't wanna be an actor. Stromboli was terrible!

Honest John:
He was?

Pinocchio:
[Gideon hold still Pinocchio's loincloth with his cane] Yeah! He locked me in a birdcage!

Honest John:
He did?

Pinocchio:
Uh-huh, and I learned my lesson. I'm goin' ho--

Honest John:
Oh, you poor, poor boy! You must be a nervous wreck. That's it! You are a nervous wreck! We must diagnose this case at once! Quick, doctor! Your notebook! [Gideon pulls out a notepad and a pencil] Bless my soul. [looks at Pinocchio's arm to check his pulse] Mmm.... mm-hmm! [measures Pinocchio's pulse with a ruler] My, my.... Just as I thought. A slight touch of nolitary complications with bucolic semi-lunar contraptions of the flying trapezes. [Gideon writes down what he thinks he said; Honest John uses his glasses as a tongue depressor while he looks into Pinocchio's mouth] Mm-hmm.... say "hippopotamus".

Pinocchio:
Hi-ho-hotamus!

Honest John:
I knew it! Compound transmission in the pandemonium custom in the span frantic disintegration. [Gideon writes in the middle of the air] Close your eyes. [Pinocchio closes his eyes hard] What do you see?

Pinocchio:
Nothing.

Honest John:
[holds a spotted handkerchief in front of Pinocchio] Open them up. [Pinocchio does so] Now, what do you see?

Pinocchio:
Spots.

Honest John:
Aha! Now, that heart! [Peels up Pinocchio's shirt untucked, puts his ear to his belly and listens for his heartbeat, and makes a jazzy drumming solo on some bottles with his cane. Gideon dances while writing down the information] Ooh, my goodness! A palpitating syncopation of the killer-diller with a wicky-wacky stabbing of the floy joy! [bonks Gideon's head with his cane] Quick, doctor! That report! [Takes the notepad from a dizzy Gideon and looks at what he wrote, which was nothing but scribbles] Oh! This makes it perfectly clear! My boy, you are allergic!

Pinocchio:
Allergic?

Honest John:
Yes, and there is only one cure! A vacation! On Pleasure Island! [winks at Gideon]

Pinocchio:
Pleasure Island?

Honest John:
Yes! That happy land of carefree boys where everyday's a holiday!

Pinocchio:
But I can't go. I--

Honest John:
Why, of course you can go! I'm giving you my ticket! [produces a playing card as a "ticket" in his hand and gives it to Pinocchio] Here.

Pinocchio:
[takes the "ticket"] Thanks, but I'm goi...

Honest John:
Oh, tut, tut, tut! I insist! Your health comes first! Come! The coach departs at midnight! [He and Gideon take Pinocchio to the coach to Pleasure Island, singing] Hi diddle dee-dee! It's Pleasure Isle for me! Where every day is a holiday and kids have nothing to do but play. Hi diddle dee-doo! If what I hear is true. A land of pudding and marmalade. It's Pleasure Isle for me!

Jiminy:
Pinoke! Oh, Pinoke! Now where do you suppose that he-- [Turns around to see Pinocchio, Honest John, and Gideon disappear around the corner, and runs after them] Huh? Pinocchio! Hey! Come back here!

[On the coach to Pleasure Island, the boys are chatting and laughing. Pinocchio and Lampwick are riding up front with the Coachman]

Coachman:
[cracks his whip] Giddyap!

[Meanwhile, Jiminy hides under the coach, getting sick and coughing from the dust the donkeys pulling the coach are kicking up]

Jiminy:
Well... [coughs] Here we go again.

Lampwick:
Me name's Lampwick. What's yours?

Pinocchio:
[tips his hat] Pinocchio!

Lampwick:
Ever been to Pleasure Island?

Pinocchio:
Uh-uh. [shows Lampwick his "ticket" from Honest John] But Mr. Honest John gave me...

Lampwick:
Me, neither, but they say that it's a swell joint! No school, no cops. You can tear the joint apart, and nobody says a word! [the Coachman smiles evilly and cracks his whip again]

Pinocchio:
Honest John gave me...

Lampwick:
Loaf around, plenty to eat, plenty to drink. And it's all free!

Pinocchio:
Honest John...

Lampwick:
Boy, that's the place. I can hardly wait! [shoots his slingshot at the donkeys]

[They arrive at the docks and board a showboat. They arrive at Pleasure Island, which has various elements any amusement park has, including carnival rides. Balloons of clowns and policemen float above. The Coachman gestures the boys in]

Barker:
Right here, boys! Right here! Get your cakes, pies, dill pickles, and ice cream! Eat all you can! Be a glutton! Stuff yourselves! It's all free, boys! It's all free! Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry!

[inside a tent, the boys are pouncing on each other and punching each other]

Roughhouse Animatronic:
The Roughhouse! The Roughhouse! It's the roughest, toughest joint you've ever seen! Come in and pick a fight, boys!

Lampwick:
[eats his roast chicken while Pinocchio takes a lick of his ice cream cone] Oh, boy! A scrap! [tosses away his chicken] C'mon! Let's go in and poke somebody in the nose!

Pinocchio:
Why?

Lampwick:
Ah, just for the fun of it.

Pinocchio:
OK, Lampy! [tosses away his ice cream cone and pie and strolls into the Roughhouse with Lampwick; In another part of Pleasure Island, animatronic Indians are throwing handfuls of cigars to the boys]

Barker:
Tobacco Row! Tobacco Row! Get your cigars, cigarettes, and chewing tobacco! Come in and smoke your heads off, there's nobody here to stop you!

[Meanwhile, Jiminy is trying to avoid the boys running around, trying to step on him]

Jiminy:
Pinocchio! [coughs] Pinocchio! There's something phony about all of this. I gotta get him outta here.

[In a large luxurious house, the boys are knocking houseplants and statues over, breaking windows and furniture, and setting the entire house on fire]

Barker:
Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry! See the Model Home! It's open for destruction! And it's all yours, boys! She's all yours!

Lampwick:
[he strikes a match on the Mona Lisa painting to light his cigar] What'd I tell ya? Ain't this a swell joint?

Pinocchio:
Yeah! [holds an axe] Bein' bad's a lot of fun, ain't it?

Lampwick:
Yeah, uh-huh. Get a load of that stained-glass window. [Picks up a brick and throws it at the stained glass window, shattering it. Meanwhile, back at the entrance, the Coachman turns to his henchmen]

Coachman:
Alright now! [cracks his whip] Hop to it, you blokes! Come on! Come on! Shut the doors and lock 'em tight! [The guards close the wooden doors] Now, get below and get them crates ready! [chuckles] Give a bad boy enough rope and he'll soon make a jackass of himself. [cackles evilly]

[Jiminy is walking around the deserted fairgrounds, littered with half-smoked cigars, shut-down carnival rides, and food wrappers]

Jiminy:
Pinocchio! Pinocchio! [whistles] Where is everybody? Look at this. This place is like a graveyard. I don't like the looks of this. Pinocchio! Hey! Where are you?

[meanwhile, in the pool hall, Lampwick is whistling "Hi-Diddle-Dee-Dee" and playing pool while Pinocchio sits at a table, smoking his cigar]

Pinocchio:
Where do you suppose all the kids went to, Lampwick?

Lampwick:
Oh, they're around here somewheres. Why do you care? You're havin' a good time, ain't ya? [hits a #3 ball into a hole]

Pinocchio:
Uh-huh. I sure am.

Lampwick:
Oh, boy! This is the life, huh, Pinokey?

Pinocchio:
Yeah! [smokes lightly] It sure is! [smokes lightly again]

Lampwick:
Ah, you smoke like me grandmother! [picks up his cigar] Come on. Take a big drag, like this! [inhales his cigar deeply]

Pinocchio:
OK, Lampy! [inhales his cigar deeply and his face turns red] GLY! [swallows the smoke instead of exhaling it] GLO! [turns pink in the face and his eyes begin to fill with water, which he closes them, releasing all of the water, and then turns green in the face and blows a smoke ring, which comes out of his mouth]

Lampwick:
Heh, some fun, huh, kid? [Pinocchio nods drowsily] OK, slats. [adds a point in the score chart] Your shot.

[Pinocchio, dazed and disoriented, can barely focus on striking the #8 ball, which appears to wink its eye at Pinocchio; Pinocchio shakes his head, causing his eyes to shake as well] What's the matter, slats? Losin' your grip?

[Pinocchio is about to strike the ball at first, but is then startled by Jiminy and falls flat on his face]

Jiminy:
PINOCCHIO! So, this is where I find you! How do you ever expect to be a real boy? Look at yourself! Smokin'! [pulls the flattened cigar out of Pinocchio's mouth] Playin' pool! [angrily kicks the #8 ball and stubs his toe] OWW! You're coming right home with me this minute!

Lampwick:
Hey, who's the beetle? [picks up Jiminy]

Jiminy:
Let go! Put me down! [voice becomes muffled as he gets wrapped around in his coat] Let me outta here! Let me out! Let me out! Put me down!

Pinocchio:
He's my conscience. He tells me what's right from wrong.

Lampwick:
[drops Jiminy] What? You mean to tell me that you oughtta take orders from a grasshopper?

Jiminy:
Grasshopper? Look here, you.... you impudent young pup! [climbs up and stands on the #8 ball] It wouldn't hurt you to take orders from your grasshopper.... um.... I mean, uh.... your conscience, if you have one.

Lampwick:
Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. [strikes the #9 ball into the ball Jiminy is standing on] Screwball in the corner pocket.

[Jiminy is knocked into a hole by the #1 ball, the other ball goes in, too; when Jiminy lands in the ball pit, he runs out of the way of the #8 ball; Lampwick cracks up laughing]

Jiminy:
[angrily climbs out of hole] Why, you.... you young hoodlum! [furiously takes off his coat] I'll.... I'll knock your block off! [punches the air; Lampwick laughs harder] Why, I'll take you apart and put you back together!

Pinocchio:
[holds Jiminy back by his vest] Oh, don't hurt him, Jiminy. He's my best friend.

Jiminy:
Why, I'll oughtta let you... Huh? Your best friend? And what am I? Just your conscience! [angrily storms away] OK! That settles it! [picks up his suit and squashes his top hat real flat]

Pinocchio:
But, Jiminy....

Jiminy:
You buttered your bread. Now, sleep in it! [puts his suit coat on backwards and falls down a pool hole again; Lampwick laughs even harder] [mocks Lampwick's laughter] Ha, ha, ha! Go on! Laugh! Make a jackass out of yourself! I'm through! This is the end! [storms out the bar]

Pinocchio:
But, Jiminy, Lampwick says a guy only lives once.

Jiminy:
Lampwick! Ha!

Lampwick:
Come on, come on! Let him go! [pours some beer into a couple steins]

[meanwhile, Jiminy is storming out of Pleasure Island]

Jiminy:
Lampwick? Huh! Lampwick! [kicks a smoked cigar, making the ashes fly everywhere] Burns me up. After all I tried to do for him! [goes through the inside of an open book, and comes out by ripping and tearing some pages] Who's his conscience anyway? [gets tangled in the leg by a ribbon, and shakes it off] Me, or that...that hoodlum Lampwick? I've had enough of this! I'm takin' the next boat outta here! [raps on the door with his umbrella handle] Open up that door! Open up! I wanna go home!

[Jiminy hears donkeys braying on the other side of the door and slips under the door. There, he finds the Coachman and his henchman loading donkeys into crates and onto the boat]

Coachman:
C'mon, you blokes! Keep it moving. Lively there, now! We haven't got all night!

Jiminy:
[scratches his head] Where'd all the donkeys come from?

Coachman:
Come on, come on! Let's have another! [one of his henchmen pulls a donkey dressed in a police uniform toward him] And what's your name?

Donkey:
Hee-haw!

Coachman:
Okay, you'll do! [he tears the police uniform off the donkey and kicks him in the rear end, throwing him into a crate with five others] In you go! You boys will bring a nice price. [chuckles evilly] Alright! Next! [another donkey, who is dressed in a sailor suit is thrown toward him] And what might your name be?

Alexander:
Alexander.

Coachman:
Hmm, so you can talk.

Alexander:
Y-Yes, sir. I wanna go home to my mama!

Coachman:
Take him back! He can still talk! [snatches Alexander and throws him into a pen with six other donkeys that can still talk]

Alexander:
Please, please. I don't wanna be a donkey. [the others protest by begging and pleading for mercy] Let me out of here!

Coachman:
[cracks his whip and scares the boys with major anger] QUIET!!! You boys have had your fun! Now pay for it!

Jiminy:
Boys? So that's what...! Pinocchio! [he runs back to the pool hall to warn Pinocchio what has happened to the boys]

Lampwick:
Heh! To hear that beetle talk.... [takes a sip of his beer] .... you'd think that something was going to happen to us. [Lampwick suddenly sprouts donkey ears. Unaware of this, Pinocchio pushes his beer away] Conscience. Ah, phooey! [strikes a ball and grows a donkey tail, as a shocked Pinocchio then throws away his cigar] Where does he get that stuff? [sarcastically] "How do you ever expect to be a real boy?" [leans over the pool table, but when his head turns into a fuzzy brown donkey muzzle, he grabs his cigar, turns around, shows Pinocchio that he now has that head of a donkey, and puts it in his mouth] What's he think I look like? A jackass?

Pinocchio:
You sure do! [laughs, but when he accidentally brays in the middle of his laughter, he covers his mouth in shock]

Lampwick:
Hey, you laughed like a donkey. [laughs, then accidentally brays, and gasps and covers his mouth to stop] Did that come out of me? [Pinocchio nods in a horrified look; Lampwick feels his face, realizing he has a muzzle instead of a nose] Oh! [feels nothing but fur] Huh? [feels his donkey ears from bottom to top, then tugs at them] What the----? What's going on? [he looks in a mirror, but sees that he is only half a human and half a donkey, then screams in terror] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHH! [runs around in panic for help] I've been double-crossed! Help! Help! Somebody, help! I've been framed! HELP!!!! [begs to Pinocchio for help, while Pinocchio ends up backing into a wall, as Lampwick crawls on all four feet, and grabs the straps on Pinocchio's overalls by Lampwick's hands, but shakes him up and down] Please, you've gotta help me. Oh, be a pal. Call that beetle. Call anybody. [lets go of Pinocchio, as his hands close up, morphing into hooves; Pinocchio gasps in shock and backs away, scared] Mama! MA-AA-A-MA-AA-A!!!! AHHHHHHHHH!!! [In the shadow, Lampwick is forced down on all fours, and having turned into a donkey completely, begins to run around the room, and starts braying wildly, while Pinocchio runs away and hides behind a chair, when Lampwick smashes the mirror with his back hooves, knocks tables over, kicks chairs all over the place, and flees, still braying uncontrollably; Pinocchio suddenly sprouts gray donkey ears]

Pinocchio:
[tugs at his ears] OOOOH!!!! What's happened?!

Jiminy:
[races towards the pool hall] Oh, I hope I'm not too late.

Pinocchio:
What'll....? What'll I do?! [suddenly, he sprouts a gray donkey tail, grabs hold of its end, and gasps]

[Jiminy finally reaches the pool hall, and goes back in]

Jiminy:
Pinocchio!

Pinocchio:
Jiminy! Jiminy, help!

Jiminy:
Quick, Pinoke! The kids! The boys! They're all donkeys! [gasps] You, too! [Pinocchio nods] C'mon, quick, before you get any worse! [they run across the fairgrounds] This way, Pinoke. It's the only way out. [they climb up the rocks and onto a cliff] Hurry up.... OOF! Before they see us. [they stop at the cliff leading down to the water] You gotta jump. [they dive into the water, and swim far away from Pleasure Island, and get up on the mainland, before heading back to the workshop]

[Pinocchio, having heard that Geppetto is alive after getting swallowed by Monstro, takes off to save him]

Jiminy Cricket:
[following after Pinocchio] Hey, where are ya goin'?

Pinocchio:
I'm going to find him!

Jiminy Cricket:
But, Pinoke, are you crazy? Do you not realize that he's inside a whale?

Pinocchio:
I gotta go to him!

Jiminy Cricket:
Hey, Pinoke! Wait! Listen here, Son!

[Pinocchio keeps going straight to a high cliff overlooking the ocean, with Jiminy following all the way] But this Monstro, I've heard o'him; he's a whale of a whale! [Pinocchio starts tying a rock to his donkey tail] Why, he swallows whole ships alive! [he then helps tie Pinocchio's tail to the rock completely] Tie it good and tight, now. And besides, it's dangerous! Why, I--

Pinocchio:
[extends a hand for a handshake from Jiminy] Good-bye, Jiminy.

Jiminy Cricket:
Good-bye? I may be live bait down there, but I'm with ya! C'mon, Pinoke. [hops onto the rock and holds his nose] Let's go. [screams as they jump down from high off the cliff] LOOK OUT BELO-OO-OO-OO-OO-OWW!!!! [they plunge into the ocean with a gigantic splash, and the rock attached to Pinocchio's tail drags them to the ocean floor] Gangway down there!

Geppetto:
Is that the last of them. Here's a big one. Only a few left. Gotta work fast. Here's another one!

Pinocchio:
Hey. Hey, Father! Father!

Geppetto:
Don't bother me now, Pinocchio! I'm bus---- [surprised] Pinocchio?

Pinocchio:
Father!

Geppetto:
[joyfully hugging one of the fish to think it's Pinocchio] Pinocchio, my son!

Pinocchio:
Hey, Father. Here I am.

Geppetto:
Oh, yes. [drops the fish in the water, and Pinocchio leaps to his father for a big hug] Pinocchio, my boy. I'm so happy to see you.

Pinocchio:
Me, too, Father. [Figaro climbs on Geppetto's head, causing his glasses to fall off] Figaro. Aw, Figaro. Cleo. Oh, Cleo. You're here, too. [rubs Cleo's belly with his finger]

Geppetto:
Yes. We're all together again.

Pinocchio:
[sneezes]

Geppetto:
Oh, You are soaking wet.

Pinocchio:
Yes, Father.

Geppetto:
You mustn't catch cold.

Pinocchio:
But I came to save you.

Geppetto:
You know that you shouldn't have come down here, but I'm awfully glad to see you. Let me take your hat off. [gasps in major shock as he notices Pinocchio has donkey ears] Pinocchio!

Pinocchio:
What's the matter?

Geppetto:
[makes donkey's ears from his fingers] Those ears!

Pinocchio:
Huh, ears? Oh, these. Oh, that's nothing. [twirls his donkey tail] I got a tail, too! [laughs, then accidentally brays like a donkey and covers his mouth in shock which causes Figaro to jump backwards into Cleo's bowl]

Geppetto:
Pinocchio! What's happened to you?

Pinocchio:
Well, I-- I--

Geppetto:
Oh, never mind that. [hugs Pinocchio] Old Geppetto has his little wooden head. [they touch noses] Nothing else matters.

Geppetto:
[crying over Pinocchio's body] : My boy. [sobs] My brave little boy. [continues crying softly]

[The light of the Blue Fairy shines on Pinocchio's body]

'Blue Fairy:
[voice heard] Prove yourself brave, truthful, and unselfish. And someday, you'll be a real boy. [transforms Pinocchio into a real boy, and revives him] Awake. Awake.

Pinocchio:
[waking up, alive and rubs his eyes] Father! Whatcha crying for?

Geppetto:
[not realizing that Pinocchio is alive] Because you're dead, Pinocchio.

Pinocchio:
No! No, I'm not.

Geppetto:
Yes. Yes, you are. Now lie down.

Pinocchio:
But, Father, I'm alive. See? [moves his hand] And...And I'm...I'm...real. I'm a real boy!

Geppetto:
You're alive! And, you are a real boy! A real, live boy!

Lampwick:
Hmph! To hear that beetle talk… [Takes a sip of his beer] You’d think something was gonna happen to us. [Suddenly, his ears turn into brown donkey ears. Pinocchio pushes his mug of beer away] Conscience. Ah, phooey! [As he leans across the pool table to shoot another ball, a donkey tail pops out from the back of his pants. Pinocchio, still shocked, takes the cigar out of his mouth and throws it away] Where does he get all that stuff? “How do you ever expect to be a real boy?” [He shoots another ball and picks up his cigar] What’s he think I look like? [Turns around and shows that his face is now a donkey’s head] A jackass? [He puts his cigar in his mouth]

Pinocchio:
You sure do! [Laughs, but his laughter suddenly turns into a donkey’s bray, and causes him to cover his mouth in horror]

Lampwick:
Hey, you laugh like a donkey. [He laughs, but then his laughter turns into a bray, too, and allows him to cover his mouth to stop in shock] Did that come out of me? [Pinocchio nods yes nervously. Lampwick feels a muzzle on his face and gasps and feels his ears] Huh? [feels nothing but fur and tugs at his ears and looks at them] What the…? What’s goin’ on?! [Looks at his reflection in the mirror and sees that he is turning into a donkey and screams in terror as soon as he realizes what’s happening and runs around in panic] I’ve been double-crossed! Help! Help! Somebody, help! I’ve been framed! [Gets on his knees and begs to Pinocchio for mercy to help] Help! Please, you've gotta help me. Oh, be a pal! [Grabs Pinocchio by his overall straps and shakes him up and down] Call that beetle! Call anybody! [Just then, his hands let go of Pinocchio, and turn into hooves, and paw at Pinocchio to hurt him as he gasps and backs away, scared] Mama! MAAAAA-MAAAAAAAAAA!!!! [In the shadow cast upon the wall, Lampwick is forced onto all fours and, having fully been turned into a donkey, starts kicking, braying wildly, stamping around the room, and knocking over tables and chairs. As Pinocchio panics and runs away to hide a chair, he suddenly grows two gray donkey ears when Lampwick leaves, braying wildly]

Pinocchio:
Oh! What’s happening?!?

[Jiminy rushes to the rescue]

Jiminy Cricket:
I hope I'm not too late.

Pinocchio:
What--? What will I do!?!!

[Pinocchio springs out a donkey's tail, which rips a hole in the seat of his pants, and when he turns around, he grabs its end, and gasps in fear]

Pinocchio:
What's an actor?

Pinocchio:
(To audience, singing) There are no strings on me! WAHH!

Pinocchio:
(To the Blue Fairy) It was these two big monsters---with green eyes!! (Nose grows)

Pinocchio:
Gee, Lampwick.

Pinocchio:
Jiminy! Jiminy, HELP!!

Pinocchio:
Papa? PAPA!!?

Jiminy Cricket:
Now you listen to me, Pinoc (Pin-Oak)!! I'm your conscience!

Jiminy Cricket:
Monstro!!

The Coachman:
But they don't---come back---as BOYS!!!!

The Coachman:
(To the donkeified children) You've had your fun, now pay for it!!