Pitch Perfect

Beca:
Get pitch slapped.

Beca:
At least they're different.

Beca:
You're such a weirdo!

Aubrey Posen:
My father always said, "If you're not here to win... get the hell outta Kuwait".

Aubrey Posen:
My father told me, "If at first you don't suceed, pack your bags."

Fat Amy:
Even though some of you are pretty thin, I think you all have fat hearts. And that's what matters.

Fat Amy:
I'm doing horizontal running!

Fat Amy:
I'm going to finish him like a cheesecake

Fat Amy:
I've been shot... I've been shot!

Chloe Beale:
How about we just get good singers?

Chloe Beale:
One time, we sang backup for Prince. His butt is so tiny, I can hold it with like, one hand.

Chloe Beale:
I have nodes!

Lilly:
I set fires to feel joy

Lilly:
I did a turn at county

Lilly:
I was born with gills like fish

Lilly:
I ate my twin in the womb

Aubrey:
You call yourself "Fat Amy"?

Fat Amy:
Yeah, so twig b*tches like you don't do it behind my back.

Bumper:
I have a feeling... That we should kiss. Is that feeling a good feeling, or an incorrect feeling?

Fat Amy:
I sometimes have a feeling I can do crystal meth. But then I think... better not.

Chloe:
I have a feeling that we're going to be really good friends.

Becca:
Well, you saw me naked, so...

Fat Amy:
Hey, what up, Shawshank?!

Cynthia Rose:
Did you get yourself a b*tch?

Fat Amy:
I'm the best singer in Tasmania with Teeth.

Aubrey:
Your attitude sucks, you're a grade-A pain in my ass, and I know you're hooking up with Jesse.

Chloe:
I have nodes.

Fat Amy:
It’s ok, Chloe. It’s just god punishing you because your a ginger.

Alice:
[trying to fix Chloe's scarf] Chloe, look at you! You're a mess! You're unfocused. You're unreliable. And your breath smells like egg. Like, all the time. I can't believe the Bellas are being passed on to you two slut bags after we graduate. [to Aubrey] Just don't eff up your solo.

Aubrey:
I won't disappoint you. My dad always says, "If you're not here to win, get the hell outta Kuwait."

Alice:
Has your dad ever told you to shut up?

Bumper:
Good luck out there! Seriously, you girls are awesome... ly horrible. I hate you, kill yourselves. Girl power! [mockingly] Sisters before misters! [leaves]

Alice:
All right, ladies, it's now or never. Hands in!

Bumper:
When you came in, and you were just strummin' the guitar, and it was like, totally off-key, I wanted to CHOKE you!

Donald:
Bumper...

Bumper:
I wanted to choke you out!

Chloe:
So, are you interested?

Beca:
Sorry, it's just... it's pretty lame.

Aubrey:
A-ca-SCUSE me? Synchronized lady dancing to a Mariah Carey chart-topper is NOT lame!

Chloe:
We sing all over the world, and we compete in national championships!

Beca:
On purpose?

Aubrey:
We played the Cobb Energy Performing Arts Centre, you b*tch!!

[Chloe has burst, stark naked, into Beca's stall while she's showering]

Chloe:
You have to audition for the Bellas!

Beca:
I can't concentrate on anything you're saying until you cover your junk.

Chloe:
Just consider it! One time, we sang back-up for Prince. His butt is so tiny that I can hold it with, like, one hand.

Tommy:
[to prospective Treblemakers] For the audition, you will sing 16 bars of Kelly Clarkson's 'Since You've Been Gone'. If a group likes you, they will contact you directly. My tone-deaf sidekick, Justin here, will be collecting your information.

Justin:
If I could sing a lick, I would. But I can't. And I hate myself everyday because of it.

Tommy:
I know. But if you think this is just some high school club where you can sing and dance your way through any social issue... Or confused sexuality, you have come to the wrong place. There is none of that here. That's high school. This sh*t is real life. Now, don't just bring it, sing it, and let's do this.

Bumper:
Well, well, well, look who's in "treble."

Donald:
Ah, classic pun.

Bumper:
I know.

[The pieces of cloth are yanked off of Jesse and Kolio's heads. Shocked, they exchange looks]

Jesse:
No Benji?

Beca's Dad:
You've been here, what, a month now? Do you have any friends?

Beca:
Kimmy Jin is my friend.

Kimmy Jin:
[shaking her head] No!

Aubrey:
The Trebles don't respect us, and if we let them penetrate us, we are giving them our power.

Fat Amy:
Not a good enough reason to use the word 'penetrate.'

Chloe:
I have a feeling that we're going to be really good friends.

Beca:
Well, you saw me naked, so...

Chloe:
All right. I'm gonna go get a drink. This ginger needs her jiggle juice.

Beca:
Make good choices...

Cynthia Rose:
I have a confession to make.

Fat Amy:
We all know where this is going. Lesbi-honest.

Cynthia-Rose:
This is hard for me to admit to you guys, but for the past two years, I have had a serious...gambling problem.

Fat Amy:
What?

Beca:
What?

Cynthia Rose:
It all started when I broke up with my girlfriend.

Fat Amy:
Whomp, there it is!

Beca:
[about Chloe's vocal cord nodes] Isn't that painful? Why would you keep performing?

Chloe:
Because I love to sing.

Stacie:
Yeah, it's like when my lady doctor told me not to have sex for six weeks, and I did it anyway.

Fat Amy:
You should really listen to your doctor.

Stacie:
Meh.

Fat Amy:
[out of breath from learning choreography] I should have taken that cardio tip more seriously.

Aubrey:
How much have you done?

Fat Amy:
You just saw it.

Bumper:
You are probably the grossest human being I've ever seen.

Fat Amy:
Well, you're no panty-dropper yourself.

Bumper:
So I have a feeling...that we should kiss. Is that feeling a good feeling, or an incorrect feeling?

Fat Amy:
Well I sometimes have a feeling I can do crystal meth. But then I think hmm...better not.

Aubrey:
I know you have a toner for Jesse.

Beca:
A what?

Aubrey:
A toner. A musical boner. I saw it on Hood Night. It's distracting.

Beca:
Yeah, that's not a thing, and you're not the boss of me. So...

Aubrey:
You took an oath.

Beca:
That oath cost you two girls already today. I'm pretty sure you need me more than I need you. [starts to walk away]

Aubrey:
I can see your toner through those jeans!!

Beca:
That's my dick.

John:
The bad boys of a cappella have just gotten badder!

Gail:
Whoo! That's right, John, I'm gonna have to excuse myself to freshen up the downtown.

John:
Can I help?

Beca:
You must really sweep your girlfriend off her feet.

Jesse:
Oh I don't have a girlfriend.

Beca:
[sarcastically] What!? No! You have juice pouches and Rocky!

Jesse:
Okay, so what do you wanna watch first?

Beca:
Can we do something else? We could relive my parents' divorce. Or visit a gynecologist.

Jesse:
What, do you not like movies or something? [Beca gives him a look] Like, any movies? You don't...What the hell is wrong with you? How do you not like movies? Not liking movies is like not liking puppies.

Beca:
They're fine. I just get bored and never make it to the end.

Jesse:
The endings are the best part!

Beca:
They're predictable. Like, the guy gets the girl, and that kid sees dead people, and Darth Vader is Luke's father.

Jesse:
Okay, right, so you just happened to guess the biggest cinematic reveal in history?

Beca:
"Vader" in German means father. His name is literally "Darth Father."

Jesse:
...So you know German. Well now I know why you don't like fun things.

Jesse:
[after helping get Beca out of jail] Hey, Hilary Swank from Million Dollar Baby.

Beca:
Hey, you know you just have to say, "Hey, Million Dollar Baby." You don't have to reference the specific actress.

Jesse:
Damn, prison changed you.

[Beca returns to her room after being released from jail]

Fat Amy:
What up, Shawshank?

Cynthia-Rose:
Did you get yourself a b*tch?

Fat Amy:
Did they spray you with a hose?

Lilly:
[quietly] I did a turn at County.

Gail:
The Barden Bellas went deep into the archive for that song, John. I remember singing it with my own a cappella group.

John:
And what group was that, Gail?

Gail:
The Minstrel Cycles, John.

John:
Well, that's an unfortunate name.

Kolio:
[notices Fat Amy at the gas station that the Treblemakers are passing in their bus] Yo, Bump, is that Fat Amy?

Bumper:
Donald, slow down. Slow down! Yeah! [runs to the window] Hey, Amy? SABOTAGE!! [chucks his burrito out of the window, and it hits Fat Amy in the chest]

Fat Amy:
Ugh! [the Trebles laugh as they drive away] I've been shot. I've just been SHOT! Help me! [slowly collapses]

Cynthia Rose:
[gets out of the bus] Fat Amy! They shot Amy! I've got you, I've got you. [tries to help Fat Amy by giving her mouth to mouth]

Fat Amy:
No, no, no, I'm talking, I'm talking... I'm sitting up.

Cynthia Rose:
All right, cool. [Beca and Lilly get out to help]

Fat Amy:
There's no need for that. No mouth to mouth. Oh, sh*t! Bumper threw a big-ass burrito at me! I'm gonna kill him, I swear. I'm gonna finish him like a cheesecake!

Gail:
Whoo, that little peanut can sing!

John:
He really can. It sounds to me, though, Gail, like his boys haven't dropped yet, if you know what I mean.

Gail:
If you mean his testicles, then I do, John. I do. I really do.

Stacie:
Well, I'll confess something that none of you know about me. I have a lot of sex.

Fat Amy:
Yeah, we know Stacie.

Stacie:
Only 'cause I just told you.

Beca:
This is a good idea. That was a pretty...bad example, but this is a good idea.

Fat Amy:
Come on, I joined this group so I could hang out with a bunch of really cool chicks. And also 'cause I was really sick of all my boyfriends and I need to get away from that. But this is some serious horseshit.

John:
Oh my goodness gracious, would you look at this - gone are those Bella uniforms, and this is a whole new look for them, and it's hot, hot, hot!

Gail:
John, these girls could turn me!

Gail:
I think we have just seen some a cappella history being made, John.

John:
And from an all-female group, Gail. I could never have called this one.

Gail:
Never. Well, you are a misogynist at heart, so there's no way you would have bet on these girls to win.

John:
Absolutely.

Fat Amy:
You guys are gonna get pitch-slapped so hard, your man b*obs are gonna concave.