Plane Nuts

Ted Healy:
Noontime means luncheon for someone - Nighttime means sleep for the same - Daytime means brightness for someone - But to me they all mean the rain. [Ted keeps trying to sing this song, but something goes wrong every time]

Ted Healy:
Hey, you in the center with that spittoon haircut. What's your name?

Moe:
George Washington.

Ted Healy:
Are you the fellow that chopped down the cherry tree?

Moe:
Nah, I ain't worked in a year and a half.

Curly:
Right here's where we go into a snappy gag.

Ted Healy:
Well, go in to something.

Curly:
Right here we're compelled to cut the act and go into another snappy gag.

Moe:
Now when the music plays "The Gates of Hell are Open," that's where you walk in.

Larry:
[Larry stomps his foot, his shoe goes flying into the audience, and he makes a move to go for the shoe] Oh!

Ted Healy:
Let it alone - it'll come up by itself. [the shoe flies back on to the stage, tossed by an unseen audience member]

Moe:
Now, in this next scene I play the part of a count.

Ted Healy:
Yeah?

Moe:
I drive up to my castle on horseback.

Ted Healy:
Yeah?

Moe:
Up to my castle, up in my bedroom, and there's two ladies in muh bed.

Ted Healy:
Yeah?

Moe:
Whattaya think happens?

Ted Healy:
I don't know. What happens?

Moe:
I say one of you broads gotta get outta here.

Curly:
What would you do if a girl kissed you?

Moe:
I'd kiss her back.

Curly:
What if she were a real tall girl?