Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

Elizabeth Bennet:
To succeed in polite society, a young woman must be many things. Kind... well-read... and accomplished. But to survive in the world as WE know it, you'll need... other qualities.

Mr. Bennet:
Daughters do not dance well with masticated brains.

Parson Collins:
I was unaware that zombies possessed such acuity so as to set such traps. Before we know it, they'll be running for Parliament.

Lady Catherine de Bourgh:
[to Elizabeth] I do not know which I admire more. Your skill as a warrior or your resolve as a woman.

Elizabeth Bennet:
I shall never relinquish my sword for a ring.

Jane Bennet:
[seeing the zombie mother and child] This cannot be!

Parson Collins:
The fairest wifely choice is to be right here in this room.

Mr. Bennet:
[to Mr. Collins] My daughters are trained for battle, sir, not the kitchen.

Mr. Bingley:
[referring to Jane] She's the most beautiful creature I ever beheld.

Mr. Bingley:
[while at the ball] Darcy, you must dance.

Mr. Darcy:
[referring to Jane Bennett] You're dancing with the only handsome girl here.

Mr. Bingley:
[referring to Elizabeth Bennett] One of her sisters is also very agreeable.

George Wickham:
The crown's funds are being drained.

Mr. Darcy:
[incredulous] You're here to solicit money!

George Wickham:
I'm here to propose a venture that would end the war forever. These new zombies can be reasoned with. With the proper funding I believe we can cultivate trust and even good will with this new iteration of the undead, who seem to posses an inherent power of the lower ranks of their kind.

Lady Catherine de Bourgh:
[starts laughing, not believing] Zombie aristocrats?

Parson Collins:
[smirking] Oh, really!

George Wickham:
I prefer to think of them as souls lost in purgatory.

Lady Catherine de Bourgh:
[considering] Hmm.

George Wickham:
he common hordes look to them for leadership. It takes just one of them to realize that power and then to lead the hordes into battle.

Lady Catherine de Bourgh:
The undead are like locusts!

Parson Collins:
[still smirking] Locusts.

Lady Catherine de Bourgh:
[now determined] They go forth and destroy. They have no use for leaders!

Parson Collins:
Oh, uh, except one actually.

Lady Catherine de Bourgh:
[turning] Hmm?

Parson Collins:
Oh, well, um, according to the Book of Revelation the antichrist shall lead the undead, uh, on the day that shall be the last day of mankind.