Pride and Prejudice

Charlotte:
We are all fools in love.

Mary Bennet:
What are men compared to rocks and mountains?

Mr. Wickham:
He liked me better, and Darcy couldn't stand it.

Mr. Bingley:
[to Jane, about to propose to her] First, I must tell you I've been the most unmitigated and comprehensive ass.

Mr.Darcy:
Maybe it's because I find it hard to forgive the follies and vices of others, or their offenses against me. My good opinion once lost is lost forever.

Elizabeth Bennet:
Now, if every young man in the room does not end the evening in love with you, I am no judge of beauty.

Jane Bennet:
Or men.

Elizabeth Bennet:
No, they are far too easy to judge.

Jane Bennet:
They're not all bad.

Elizabeth Bennet:
Humorless poppycocks, in my limited experience.

Jane Bennet:
One of these days, Lizzy, someone will catch your eye, and then you'll have to watch your tongue.

Elizabeth Bennet:
Which of these painted peacocks is our Mr. Bingley?

Charlotte Lucas:
He's the one on the left. And on the right is his sister.

Elizabeth Bennet:
And the person with the quizzical brow?

Charlotte Lucas:
That is his good friend, Mr. Darcy.

Elizabeth Bennet:
He looks miserable, poor soul.

Charlotte Lucas:
Miserable he may be, but poor he most certainly is not.

Elizabeth Bennet:
Tell me.

Charlotte Lucas:
10,000 a year and he owns half of Derbyshire.

Elizabeth Bennet:
The miserable half?

Elizabeth Bennet:
Do you dance, Mr. Darcy?

Mr. Darcy:
Not if I can help it.

Mr. Bingley:
I have never seen so many pretty girls in my life!

Mr. Darcy:
On the contrary, you were dancing with the only handsome girl in the room.

Mr. Bingley:
She is the most beautiful creature I have ever beheld! But her sister Elizabeth is very agreeable...

Mr. Darcy:
Perfectly tolerable, I daresay, but not handsome enough to tempt me.

Mr. Darcy:
Then what do you suggest, to encourage affection?

Elizabeth Bennet:
Dancing, even if one's partner is barely tolerable. [turns around and leaves]

Miss Bingley:
You write uncommonly fast, Mr. Darcy.

Mr. Darcy:
[not looking up from his letter] You are mistaken, I write rather slowly.

Miss Bingley:
Letters of business, too. how odious I should think them.

Mr. Darcy:
Well, then, it is fortunate that they fall to my lot instead of yours.

Mr. Bingley:
Well, I think it's amazing that you young ladies have the patience to be so accomplished.

Miss Bingley:
What do you mean, Charles?

Mr. Bingley:
You all paint tables, and play the piano, and embroider cushions! I never heard of lady but people say she is accomplished.

Mr. Darcy:
Indeed, the word is applied too liberally. I cannot boast of knowing more than half a dozen women in all my aquaintence who are truly accomplished.

Elizabeth Bennet:
My goodness, you must comprehend a great deal in the idea.

Miss Bingley:
Indeed; she must have a thorough knowledge of music, singing, drawing, dancing, and all the modern languages to deserve the word. And something about her air, and manner of walking....

Mr. Darcy:
[glanced at the book in Lizzy's hands] And, of course, she must improve her mind with extensive reading.

Elizabeth Bennet:
[closes the book she had been reading] I am no longer surprised at your knowing only six accomplished women, I now wonder at your knowing any.

Mr. Darcy:
Are you so severe on your own sex?

Elizabeth Bennet:
I never saw such a woman. Surely she would be a fearsome thing to behold.

[Mr. Bingley chuckles]

Caroline Bingley:
Miss Elizabeth, let us take a turn about the room.

[Caroline takes Lizzy's arm in hers, and they walk gracefully in a circle around the room]

Caroline Bingley:
It's refreshing, is it not after sitting so long in one attitude?

Elizabeth Bennet:
And it is a small kind of accomplishment, I suppose.

Caroline Bingley:
Will you not join us, Mr. Darcy?

Mr. Darcy:
You can only have two motives, Caroline and I would interfere with either.

Caroline Bingley:
What can he mean?

Elizabeth Bennet:
Our surest way of disappointing him will be to ask him nothing about it.

Caroline Bingley:
But do tell us, Mr. Darcy.

Mr. Darcy:
Either you are in each other's confidence and have secret affairs to discuss, or you are conscious that your figures appear to the greatest advantage by walking. If the first, I should get in your way. If the second, I can admire you much better from here.

Caroline Bingley:
Shocking! How should we punish him for such a speech?

Elizabeth Bennet:
We could always laugh at him.

Caroline Bingley:
Oh no, Mr. Darcy is not to be teased.

Elizabeth Bennet:
Are you too proud, Mr. Darcy? And tell me, would you consider pride to be a fault or a virtue?

Mr. Darcy:
That I couldn't say.

Elizabeth Bennet:
Because we're desperately trying to find a fault in you.

Mr. Darcy:
Perhaps it is that I find it difficult to forgive others, or their follies and vices against me. My good opinion once lost is lost forever.

Elizabeth Bennet:
Oh dear I cannot tease you about that. What a shame for I dearly love to laugh.

Caroline Bingley:
A family trait, I should think.

Mr. Collins:
And what excellent boiled potatoes. It's been many years since I had such an exemplary vegetable. To which of my fair cousins should I compliment the cooking?

Mrs. Bennet:
We are perfectly able to keep a cook.

Mr. Darcy:
May I have the next dance, Miss Elizabeth?

Elizabeth Bennet:
You may.

[After Lizzy - to her own surprise - has agreed to dance with Mr. Darcy]

Elizabeth Bennet:
Did I just agree to dance with Mr. Darcy?

Charlotte Lucas:
I daresay you will find him to be very amiable.

Elizabeth Bennet:
That would be most inconvenient since I have sworn to loathe him for all eternity.

Elizabeth Bennet:
: I love this dance.

Mr Darcy:
Indeed. Most invigorating.

Elizabeth Bennet:
It is your turn to say something, Mr Darcy. I talked about the dance. Now you ought to remark on the size of the room or the number of couples.

Mr Darcy:
I'm perfectly happy to oblige. Please advise me on what would you like most to hear?

Elizabeth Bennet:
That reply will do for present. Perhaps by and by I may observe that private balls are much pleasanter than public ones. For now, we may remain silent.

Mr Darcy:
Do you talk as a rule while dancing?

Elizabeth Bennet:
No. No, I prefer to be unsociable and taciturn. Makes it all so much more enjoyable, don't you think?

Mr Darcy:
Tell me, do you and your sisters very often walk to Meryton?

Elizabeth Bennet:
Yes, we often walk to Meryton. It's a great opportunity to meet new people. When you met us, we'd just had the pleasure of forming a new acquaintance.

Mr Darcy:
Mr Wickham's blessed with such happy manners, he's sure of making friends. Whether he's capable of retaining them is less so.

Elizabeth Bennet:
He's been so unfortunate as to lose your friendship. And I daresay that's an irreversible event?

Mr Darcy:
It is. Why do you ask such a question?

Elizabeth Bennet:
To make out your character, Mr Darcy.

Mr Darcy:
And what have you discovered?

Elizabeth Bennet:
Very little. I hear such different accounts of you as puzzle me exceedingly.

Mr Darcy:
I hope to afford you more clarity in the future.

Mr. Collins:
Mrs. Bennet I was hoping, if it would not trouble you, that I might solicit a private audience with Miss Elizabeth in the course of the morning.

Mrs. Bennet:
Oh, yes. Certainly. Lizzy will be very happy indeed. Everyone, out. Mr. Collins would like a private audience with your sister.

Elizabeth Bennet:
No, no, wait, please. I beg you. Mr. Collins can have nothing to say to me that anybody need not hear.

Mrs. Bennet:
No nonsense, Lizzy. I desire you will stay where you are. Everyone else to the drawing room. Mr. Bennet?

Mr. Bennet:
But...

Mrs. Bennet:
Now.

Mr. Darcy:
I, do not have the talent of conversing easily with people I have never met before.

Elizabeth Bennet:
Perhaps you should take your aunt's advice and practice?

Mr. Darcy:
Miss Elizabeth. I have struggled in vain and I can bear it no longer. These past few months have been a torment. I came to Rosings with the single object of seeing you. I had to see you. I have fought against my better judgment, my family's expectations, the inferiority of your birth, my rank and circumstance. All these things I am willing to put aside and ask you to end my agony.

Elizabeth Bennet:
I don't understand.

Mr. Darcy:
I love you. Most ardently. Please do me the honour of accepting my hand.

Elizabeth Bennet:
Sir, I appreciate the struggle you have been through, and I am very sorry to have caused you pain. Believe me, it was unconsciously done.

Mr. Darcy:
Is this your reply?

Elizabeth Bennet:
Yes, sir.

Mr. Darcy:
Are you... are you laughing at me?

Elizabeth Bennet:
No.

Mr. Darcy:
Are you rejecting me?

Elizabeth:
I'm sure that the feelings which, as you've told me have hindered your regard, will help you in overcoming it.

Mr. Darcy:
Might I ask why, with so little endeavour at civility, I am thus repulsed?

Elizabeth Bennet:
And I might as well enquire why, with so evident a design of insulting me, you chose to tell me that you liked me against your better judgment.

Mr. Darcy:
No, believe me, I didn't mean--

Elizabeth Bennet:
If I was uncivil, then that is some excuse. But I have other reasons, you know I have.

Mr. Darcy:
What reasons?

Elizabeth Bennet:
Do you think anything might tempt me to accept the man who has ruined, perhaps forever, the happiness of a most beloved sister? Do you deny that you separated a young couple who loved each other, exposing your friend to the world for caprice and my sister to derision for disappointed hopes, involving them both in misery of the acutest kind?

Mr. Darcy:
I do not deny it.

Elizabeth Bennet:
How could you do it?

Mr. Darcy:
Because I believed your sister to be indifferent to him.

Elizabeth Bennet:
Indifferent?

Mr. Darcy:
I watched them most carefully and realized his attachment was deeper than hers.

Elizabeth Bennet:
That's because she's shy!

Mr. Darcy:
Bingley, too, is modest and was persuaded she didn't feel strongly for him--

Elizabeth Bennet:
Because you suggested it!

Mr. Darcy:
I did it for his own good!

Elizabeth Bennet:
My sister hardly shows her true feelings to me. [pauses] I suppose you suspect that his fortune had some bearing?

Mr. Darcy:
No! I wouldn't do your sister the dishonor, though it was suggested...

Elizabeth Bennet:
What was?

Mr. Darcy:
It was made perfectly clear that an advantageous marriage...

Elizabeth Bennet:
Did my sister give that impression?

Mr. Darcy:
No! No. No, there was, however, I have to admit, the matter of your family...

Elizabeth Bennet:
Our want of connection? Mr. Bingley didn't seem to vex himself about that--

Mr. Darcy:
No, it was more than that.

Elizabeth Bennet:
How, sir?

Mr. Darcy:
It was the lack of propriety shown by your mother, your three younger sisters, even on occasion your father. [pauses] Forgive me. You and your sister I must exclude from this.

Elizabeth Bennet:
And what about Mr. Wickham?

Mr. Darcy:
Mr.. Wickham?

Elizabeth Bennet:
What excuse can you give for your behavior towards him?

Mr. Darcy:
You take an eager interest in that gentleman's concerns.

Elizabeth Bennet:
He told me of his misfortunes.

Mr. Darcy:
Oh, yes, his misfortunes have been very great indeed.

Elizabeth Bennet:
You ruin his chances and yet you treat him with sarcasm.

Mr Darcy:
So this is your opinion of me. Thank you for explaining so fully. Perhaps these offences might have been overlooked had not your pride been hurt by my honesty...

Elizabeth Bennet:
My pride?

Mr. Darcy:
...in admitting scruples about our relationship. Could you expect me to rejoice in the inferiority of your circumstances?

Elizabeth Bennet:
And those are the words of a gentleman. From the first moment I met you, your arrogance and conceit, your selfish disdain for the feelings of others made me realize that you were the last man in the world I could ever be prevailed upon to marry.

(Pause.) [He leans in towards her, as if about to kiss her]

Mr Darcy:
Forgive me, madam, for taking up so much of your time.

Elizabeth Bennet:
[refusing to visit Pemberley]He's so...he's so rich.

Mr. Gardiner:
Oh, heavens Lizzy! What a snob you are! Objecting to poor Mr. Darcy because of his wealth! The poor man can't help it.

Mr. Darcy:
[after he sees Elizabeth at Pemberly, and follows her outside] Miss Elizabeth!

Elizabeth Bennet:
I thought you were in London.

Mr. Darcy:
No. No, I'm not.

Elizabeth Bennet:
No

[Simultaneously:
]

Elizabeth Bennet:
We would not have come if we'd known you were here.

Mr. Darcy:
I came back a day early.

[pause]

Elizabeth Bennet:
I'm in Derbyshire with my aunt and uncle.

Mr. Darcy:
And are you having a...pleasant trip?

Elizabeth Bennet:
Yes, very pleasant.

[pause]

Elizabeth Bennet:
Tomorrow we go to Matlock.

Mr. Darcy:
Tomorrow?

[pause]

Mr. Darcy:
Are you staying at Lambton?

Elizabeth Bennet:
Yes, at the Rose and Crown.

Mr. Darcy:
Yes.

[pause]

Elizabeth Bennet:
I'm so sorry to intrude. They said that the house was open for visitors, I had no idea....

Mr. Darcy:
May I see you back to the village?

Elizabeth Bennet:
No!

[pause]

Elizabeth Bennet:
I'm very fond of walking.

Mr. Darcy:
Yes! Yes, I know.

Elizabeth Bennet:
And what a beautiful pianoforte!

Georgiana Darcy:
My brother gave it to me. He shouldn't have--

Mr. Darcy:
Yes, I should've.

Georgiana Darcy:
Oh, very well, then.

[smiling at Lizzy]

Mr. Darcy:
Easily persuaded, is she not?

Elizabeth Bennet:
Your unfortunate brother once had to put up with my playing for a whole evening.

Georgiana Darcy:
[looking astonished] But he says you play so well!

Elizabeth Bennet:
Then he has perjured himself most profoundly.

[laughing]

Mr. Darcy:
No, I said "played quite well."

Elizabeth Bennet:
Oh, "quite well" is not "very well." I'm satisfied.

Georgiana Darcy:
Do you play duets, Miss Elizabeth?

Elizabeth Bennet:
Only when forced.

Georgiana Darcy:
[to Darcy] Brother, you must force her.

Lydia Bennet:
[talking about finding a best man for her wedding] ...luckily he did show up, or we would have had to ask Mr. Darcy and I don't really like him--

Elizabeth Bennet:
Mr. Darcy?

Lydia Bennet:
Oh! But I shouldn't say...

Elizabeth Bennet:
Mr. Darcy was at your wedding?

Lydia Bennet:
He was the one who discovered us. He paid for the wedding, Wickham's commission, everything. But I shouldn't have said anything, he told me not to tell.

Elizabeth Bennet:
Mr. Darcy...?

Lydia Bennet:
Oh, hush, Lizzy. Honestly, Mr. Darcy isn't half so high and mighty as you sometimes.

Lady Catherine:
: You can be at no loss, Miss Bennet to understand why I am here.

Elizabeth Bennet:
: Indeed you are mistaken. I cannot account for this honour at all.

Lady Catherine:
: I warn you, I am not to be trifled with. A report of most alarming nature has reached me. That you intend to be united with my nephew, Mr Darcy. I know this to be a scandalous falsehood. Though not wishing to injure him by supposing it possible, I instantly set off to make my sentiments known.

Elizabeth Bennet:
: If you believed it impossible, I wonder you took the trouble of coming so far.

Lady Catherine:
: To hear it contradicted, Miss Bennet.

Elizabeth Bennet:
: Your coming will be rather a confirmation surely if indeed such a report exists.

Lady Catherine:
: lf? You then pretend to be ignorant of it? Has it not been industriously circulated by yourself?

Elizabeth Bennet:
: I have never heard of it.

Lady Catherine:
: And can you declare there is no foundation for it?

Elizabeth Bennet:
: I do not pretend to possess equal frankness with your Ladyship. You may ask a question which I may choose not to answer.

Lady Catherine:
: This is not to be borne! Has my nephew made you an offer of marriage?

Elizabeth Bennet:
: Your Ladyship has declared it to be impossible.

Lady Catherine:
: Let me be understood! Mr Darcy is engaged to my daughter. Now what have you to say?

Elizabeth Bennet:
: Only this: If that is the case, you can have no reason to suppose he would make an offer to me.

Lady Catherine:
: You selfish girl. This union has been planned since their infancy. Do you think it can be prevented by a young woman of inferior birth whose own sister's elopement resulted in a scandalously patched-up marriage only achieved at the expense of your uncle? Heaven and Earth! Are the shades of Pemberley to be thus polluted? Now tell me once and for all, are you engaged to him?

Elizabeth Bennet:
: I am not.

Lady Catherine:
: And will you promise never to enter into such an engagement?

Elizabeth Bennet:
: I will not and I certainly never shall. You have insulted me in every possible way and can now have nothing further to say. I must ask you to leave immediately. Goodnight.

Lady Catherine:
: I have never been thus treated in my entire life!

Elizabeth Bennet:
I couldn't sleep.

Mr. Darcy:
Nor I. My aunt--

Elizabeth Bennet:
Yes, she was here.

Mr. Darcy:
How can I ever make amends for such behavior?

Elizabeth:
After what you have done for Lydia, and I suspect for Jane also, it is I who should be making amends.

Mr. Darcy:
You must know, surely you must know, it was all for you. You are too generous to trifle with me. I believe you spoke with my aunt last night and it has taught me to hope as I had scarcely allowed myself before. If your feelings are still what they were last April, tell me so at once. My affections and wishes have not changed, but one word from you will silence me forever. If, however, your feelings had changed, I will have to tell you, you have bewitched me body and soul and I love...I love... I love you. I never wish to be parted from you from this day on.

Elizabeth Bennet:
Well then... [takes Mr. Darcy's hands and kisses them] Your hands are cold.

Mr. Darcy:
[nods]

Mr. Bennet:
: Shut the door, please, Elizabeth. Lizzy, are you out of your senses? I thought you hated the man.

Elizabeth Bennet:
: No, Papa.

Mr. Bennet:
: He's rich, to be sure, and you will have more fine carriages than Jane. But will that make you happy?

Elizabeth Bennet:
: Have you no other objection than your belief in my indifference?

Mr. Bennet:
: None at all. We all know him to be a proud, unpleasant sort of fellow. But this would be nothing if you really liked him.

Elizabeth Bennet:
: I do like him.

Mr. Bennet:
: Well...

Elizabeth Bennet:
: I love him. He's not proud. I was wrong. I was entirely wrong about him. You don't know him, Papa. If I told you what he was really like, what he's done...

Mr. Bennet:
: What has he done?

Mr. Bennet:
: Good Lord. I must pay him back.

Elizabeth Bennet:
: No. You mustn't tell anyone. He wouldn't want it. We misjudged him, Papa. Me more than anyone in every way. Not just in this matter. I've been nonsensical. But he's been a fool about, about Jane, about so many other things. But then, so have I. You see, he and I are...he and I are so similar. We're both so stubborn. Papa, I...

Mr. Bennet:
: [smiling] You really do love him, don't you?

Elizabeth Bennet:
: Very much.

Mr. Bennet:
: I cannot believe that anyone can deserve you. But it seems I am overruled. So I heartily give my consent.[Elizabeth hugs him] I could not have parted with you, my Lizzie, to anyone less worthy.

Elizabeth Bennet:
: [kisses his forehead] Thank you. [Elizabeth leaves the room]

Mr. Bennet:
: If any young men come for Mary or Kitty, for heaven's sake, send them in. I'm quite at my leisure.

Mr. Darcy:
How are you this evening, my dear?

Elizabeth Bennet:
Very well. Only I wish you would not call me "my dear".

Mr. Darcy:
Why?

Elizabeth Bennet:
Because it's what my father always called my mother when he's cross about something.

Mr. Darcy:
What endearments am I allowed?

Elizabeth Bennet:
Well let me think..."Lizzy" for everyday, "My Pearl" for Sundays, and..."Goddess Divine", but only on very special occasions.

Mr. Darcy:
[Chuckles] And...what should I call you when I'm cross? "Mrs. Darcy"?

Elizabeth Bennet:
[Smiling] No! No. You may only call me "Mrs. Darcy"... when you are completely, perfectly, and incandescently happy.

Mr. Darcy:
[chuckles] How are you this evening... Mrs. Darcy? [kisses her forehead]

Mr. Darcy:
Mrs. Darcy [kisses her left cheek]

Mr. Darcy:
Mrs. Darcy [kisses her nose]

Mr. Darcy:
Mrs. Darcy [kisses her right cheek]

Mr. Darcy:
Mrs. Darcy [they kiss]